Breaths

grooveamatic

Pesky violent absorptions, what do you want?
Stop plaguing me with the shrugs and puffs
Which throw a blanket over each sunrise
And demand responses from my full chest,
Side-sagging waterbags and hair-strewn navel.
I’ve no more time for you than I have for jugglers.

What are breaths but functionless, formless tirades
Of a system-driven carbon-hump, reminders
Of the great black?
Get away from me with your heaves.
I’ve been dipped into life like a greasy donut.

DopeBeastie

Very Nice, Groove.


not diggin the sound of the word absorptions, particularly

but the poem is quite nice


Rachel

grooveamatic

PastaNazi wrote:

Very Nice, Groove.


not diggin the sound of the word absorptions, particularly

but the poem is quite nice


Rachel

Thanks PN!

I can understand what you mean about absorptions. I wanted a word that was more scientific, to take away any preconcieved notions of 'breath' and break it down into a simple action. Breath as an absorption of oxygen into the lungs, no? Anyway, I pondered on it for quite a while...and that's all I had. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks again.

Ali

I have a suggestion,Groove,
Open your mouth,and I'll kiss you,
and you can see my breath.
Or,
I can give you mouth to mouth.
Your choice.:););)

Heeheehee.....:)


Great poem.Really intricate.:)

"Call me!":)

grooveamatic

Ali wrote:

I have a suggestion,Groove,
Open your mouth,and I'll kiss you,
and you can see my breath.
Or,
I can give you mouth to mouth.
Your choice.:););)

Heeheehee.....:)


Great poem.Really intricate.:)

"Call me!":)

hmmmm....this is an interesting choice you face me with. I like both options.

I'll call ya soon!!!

Ali

Okey-dokey lover-lips.....:):););)

grooveamatic

Ali wrote:

Okey-dokey lover-lips.....:):););)

You are too cute this morning!

Ali

Why thank you!
Finally ...recognition for my cuteness!!!!!!:)
Oh dearest Groove....
Have I whispered to you my friend that I love you dearly?
You are too kind.
I would stand up for you in a storm!!!!!!

grooveamatic

Ali wrote:

Why thank you!
Finally ...recognition for my cuteness!!!!!!:)
Oh dearest Groove....
Have I whispered to you my friend that I love you dearly?
You are too kind.
I would stand up for you in a storm!!!!!!

Oh, dearest Ali, your sweetness causes my heart to ache!
You, as well, are kind beyond necessity.
I would carry you across a desert!!!!!!

Ali

grooveamatic wrote:

Oh, dearest Ali, your sweetness causes my heart to ache!
You, as well, are kind beyond necessity.
I would carry you across a desert!!!!!!

You are too sweet....:)
Have a good day groove....I'm out.
I have one more thing to post about an audition.

grooveamatic

Ali wrote:

You are too sweet....:)
Have a good day groove....I'm out.
I have one more thing to post about an audition.

You have a good day as well...perhaps I shall see you around tonight.

Peace!

ISN

(sorry this is a new thread.....delete.....)