The Closet

grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
edited November 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
so, this poem was difficult for me, in a few ways. first, the content is that of a difficult memory for me, so it was slightly uncomfortable. secondly, it is a narrative poem, which I find difficult to make sound good and flow with any sense of poetic timing or verbage. But I felt it was something I had to write. anyway, the point of all this is: criticism is extremely welcome. please help me to make this more of a well-written poem and less of a conversational confession! thanks in advance for any help.
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  • The Closet

    I remember once being especially drunk
    and in a walk-in closet--
    this was in college, mind you,
    in an apartment I shared with five other guys,
    so the closet was full of traffic cones
    and Slim Jim boxes--
    crying my ass off and mad as hell
    because She had just come to see me
    (as per my request, so I could give her my new
    book of poetry which was entirely about how
    angry she made me)
    and She had refused to tell me she loved me
    or kiss me
    or something like that;

    the roommates had locked me in there
    so I couldn't storm into the night
    ranting like a bastard about how much I hated Her;

    I passed out and woke up quite a few times in there
    (there was of course some beer in there with me)
    and I just got angrier and angrier
    and more and more confused
    until I had forgotten where I was
    and why I was angry
    and it morphed into something akin to terror;
    I started calling for help
    as though I were trapped in a well
    or a darkened coal shaft;

    I kept on drinking and smoking cigarettes
    (the spark of the lighter and the ember glow
    of the smoke the only light or solace:
    they somehow made things more terrifying)
    until I quite honestly forgot who I was;

    I was a creature
    (a man? a woman?
    a darling confused child?
    a wildebeast?
    How could I be sure?)
    who was trapped,
    too drunk to sort through it
    & too angry and scared to even slow my breathing;
    I stopped yelling
    and began clawing at the walls,
    sure there was an opening somewhere,
    hoping a shaft of light would somehow appear.

    Eventually I even forgot to drink or smoke
    & simply became lividly frightened;
    I'm sure it would have appeared hilarious to an onlooker,
    this short angry drunkard in hysterics in a walk-in closet;
    the most awful things can be so funny to other people.

    I must have tired myself out quite a bit,
    because I awoke to the door opening the next morning
    (the light immediately baking my skin)
    to the visages of serious-eyed roommates
    who had been as frightened by my nighttime predicament
    as I had been.

    Upon my emergence
    they didn't laugh at my urine-soaked pants
    nor did they gasp as I opened a beer
    within 2 minutes of being awake;
    they simply spoke softly to me
    in the understanding tones
    of people who are watching other people die.

    What matters most to those of us on the dying end of things
    is how well others disguise the pity on their faces,
    and how convincingly they can speak of the future.
    .........................................................................
  • there are sports where you convey an emotion or action but you do so only by telling the reader what was happening instead of showing him/her what happened.

    if you didn't know, i'm a fan of the narrative...so, that doesn't bother me. the timing doesn't bother me either.
    I'll dig a tunnel
    from my window to yours
  • to be honest with you, i think it read very well as it is, like a prose-poem. so even if i were the right person one to give advice, i don't think anything needs to be changed.
    What matters most to those of us on the dying end of things
    is how well others disguise the pity on their faces,
    and how convincingly they can speak of the future.

    beautifully put...
    that's faarkokte.
  • thanks trapped and soaks....glad you liked it.....
    .........................................................................
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    I agree with the others. I like this one alot. It has alot of heart and honesty to it. It made me smile...Thanks!
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • pacifierpacifier Posts: 1,009
    I like it. I like honesty. and the last few lines summed it up well. Thanks for sharing, even though it was hard for you.
  • to be honest with you, i think it read very well as it is, like a prose-poem. so even if i were the right person one to give advice, i don't think anything needs to be changed.



    beautifully put...

    I to am a fan of narrative. Wish I could write like that. Well done.
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • THIS - is what memoir is supposed to be - well done
  • Thanks everyone for your enthusiastic response to this one...it means a lot to me....
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  • DANG!!!! Wonderful, groove. :) And I'm with soaks the pages on the last stanza--it IS beautifully put!!!
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • DANG!!!! Wonderful, groove. :) And I'm with soaks the pages on the last stanza--it IS beautifully put!!!

    YOu don't think there is anything--specifically or generally--that would make that last stanza (or last 2 stanzas) more effective?

    and thanks, btw--very kind of you!!!!
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  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I like this too. :)
    Even your long stuff is never boring. :D
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