My Gita's Condition
Drummer98136
Posts: 26
Seta, Ger, Radar, Ed Minger, Jeremy Walter, 7 sins, goulet, coleen.............
Who the fuck are you ? & why are you fucking with my girlfriend ?
She has been in the hospital twice, partially due to this fucking message board... that you all think is oh so great..... also that fucking ROT book........
How do I know that your all not the same person just fucking with someone that is caring, extremely unstable @ times, sensitive, & also has a clinical serotonin level deficiency.
I know that she is flirting with radar but it is only on the computer so I let her have fun, but it is getting to the point that it is hurting our 6 year relationship of love & friendship.
I fear that the end is near for us as friends, let alone as lovers.
She believe's the Tacoma Radio station KBTC 97.1 is talking to her in encrypted messages & that billboards are being altered by Radar by what she writes on this board. Becasue in theory, ED could do this if he wanted....especially in Seattle.
She has visited HIS house...........twice
Gita does in fact think that Radar is ED VEDDER in the flesh.
& if you ARE him........stand up short man & claim your prize.
If you are IN FACT him, then you are not the Ed Vedder that wrote all of those lovely songs about love & passion & want & desire & emotion. Because the people teasing Gita could not @ all have any of those qualities.
ED/RADAR, YOU ARE FAKE...... A CORPORATE WHORE THAT SOLD US ALL A BILL OF GOODS ! YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOUR FAN NEWSLETTER DESCRIBES YOU AS ?
You are the complete opposite & the devil in disguise. Because you are ruining 2 people's lives beyond control & it seems your enjoying it.
If your not ED VEDDER in the flesh, then someone ( not ger ) in the " true " Pearl Jam family needs to step up & confirm that Radar is not him.
oh & Ger....... DON'T EVER FUCKING TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN, YOUR PUTTING FUEL ON THE FIRE................. FUCKING WACKJOB !
Let me oh so nicely close........
if this is indeed real, step up ya fucking pussy freaky fuck
& if this isn't real........
the message board ( Lat, Sea ) needs to " TRY " ( if possible ) to stop this.
Before someone jumps off a bridge ( LITERALLY )
She is pushing me away, & if I leave then I cannot answer her fate.
If you do indeed care, ( which I don't believe any of you do ) then it is time to lay the cards down & communicate via phone & become real for the both of us.
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW SERIOUS I AM,
DRUMMER 98136
Who the fuck are you ? & why are you fucking with my girlfriend ?
She has been in the hospital twice, partially due to this fucking message board... that you all think is oh so great..... also that fucking ROT book........
How do I know that your all not the same person just fucking with someone that is caring, extremely unstable @ times, sensitive, & also has a clinical serotonin level deficiency.
I know that she is flirting with radar but it is only on the computer so I let her have fun, but it is getting to the point that it is hurting our 6 year relationship of love & friendship.
I fear that the end is near for us as friends, let alone as lovers.
She believe's the Tacoma Radio station KBTC 97.1 is talking to her in encrypted messages & that billboards are being altered by Radar by what she writes on this board. Becasue in theory, ED could do this if he wanted....especially in Seattle.
She has visited HIS house...........twice
Gita does in fact think that Radar is ED VEDDER in the flesh.
& if you ARE him........stand up short man & claim your prize.
If you are IN FACT him, then you are not the Ed Vedder that wrote all of those lovely songs about love & passion & want & desire & emotion. Because the people teasing Gita could not @ all have any of those qualities.
ED/RADAR, YOU ARE FAKE...... A CORPORATE WHORE THAT SOLD US ALL A BILL OF GOODS ! YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOUR FAN NEWSLETTER DESCRIBES YOU AS ?
You are the complete opposite & the devil in disguise. Because you are ruining 2 people's lives beyond control & it seems your enjoying it.
If your not ED VEDDER in the flesh, then someone ( not ger ) in the " true " Pearl Jam family needs to step up & confirm that Radar is not him.
oh & Ger....... DON'T EVER FUCKING TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN, YOUR PUTTING FUEL ON THE FIRE................. FUCKING WACKJOB !
Let me oh so nicely close........
if this is indeed real, step up ya fucking pussy freaky fuck
& if this isn't real........
the message board ( Lat, Sea ) needs to " TRY " ( if possible ) to stop this.
Before someone jumps off a bridge ( LITERALLY )
She is pushing me away, & if I leave then I cannot answer her fate.
If you do indeed care, ( which I don't believe any of you do ) then it is time to lay the cards down & communicate via phone & become real for the both of us.
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW SERIOUS I AM,
DRUMMER 98136
BOOM-DA-DA-DA-DA-BOOM-BOOM-DA-DA
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where the Grickle-grass grows
and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows
and no birds ever sing excepting old crows...
is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.
And deep in the Grickle-grass, some people say,
if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
where the Lorax once stood
just as long as it could
before somebody lifted the Lorax away.
What was the Lorax?
Any why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
from the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows?
The old Once-ler still lives here.
Ask him. He knows.
You won´t see the Once-ler.
Don´t knock at his door.
He stays in his Lerkim on top of his store.
He stays in his Lerkim, cold under the roof,
where he makes his own clothes
out of miff-muffered moof.
And on special dank midnights in August,
he peeks
out of the shutters
and sometimes he speaks
and tells how the Lorax was lifted away.
He´ll tell you, perhaps...
if you´re willing to pay.
On the end of a rope
he lets down a tin pail
and you have to toss in fifteen cents
and a nail
and the shell of a great-great-great-
grandfather snail.
Then he pulls up the pail,
makes a most careful count
to see if you.ve paid him
the proper amount.
Then he hides what you paid him
away in his Snuvv,
his secret strange hole
in his gruvvulous glove.
Then he grunts, I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone,
for the secrets I tell you are for your ears alone.
SLUPP
Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear
and the old Once-ler´s whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down
through a snergelly hose,
and he sounds
as if he had
smallish bees up his nose.
Now I´ll tell you, he says, with his teeth sounding gray,
how the Lorax got lifted and taken away...
It all started way back...
such a long, long time back...
Drummer, I don't know who you are, so I don't see how the heck you can presume to know us or even jump to conclusions about us when you yourself profess to not even understand our singular humanitarian stance.
We are the many, Drummer. As in we are all different people, save a couple with a few different screen names, but consider the fact that you have a similar writing style to at least two other names on this board and similar word constructs and conjunctions, you might be another individual trying to stir up the mud and mess the fractious balance that sways so perilously on this section of the board.
I have no proof you are not a figment of my imagination or a figment of someone else's. So let's throw that theory out the window shall we? It's just a screen between you and I.
Barring the distinct possibility that you will not even read all of this, either in defense or in lack of time or just because you don't want to hear it, I'll say a few things and split, leaving you to your peace. I say all of this because I can tell it's going to be a bit. So sit the fuck down, brother man, and perk up the eyes and ears.
We'll start at the bottom. Oh so easier since it's all the more fresh in the mind for me...
First off, I care. I care about Gita and her thoughts that I read almost daily here and I care about her feelings on my thoughts that I post almost daily here. GIVEN THAT, let's move on.
If you leave and "cannot answer her fate" who copped out? Us? I think not. We are who we are. I'll speak for myself here, most specifically, I am who I am. I don't lie here. I do occasionally tell stories, but in the whispered amongst friends or held around the campfire variety. If someone asks my opinion, they get it. Uncompromised and unedited, usually to the chagrin of the receiver. I am not responsible for someone's actions so very far away from myself regardless of whether or not I care for them, no more than I can control the score of any given sports match on the tele just by shouting at the screen. No, I am too far detached for that.
HOWEVER, should you leave because you threw up your hands and felt that walking out was okay because YOU could blame life decisions on a bunch of names in a chat forum, guess who cops out. Why, that would be YOU, wouldn't it now?
I think so. Shirking your responsibilities as a boyfriend.
Look man, if you believe that someone is fucking with her, I want proof first. I have read nearly every post between Radar and Gita and I have to say, I don't see it. I don't see where he is fucking with her or where he has talked to her any different than he talks to the rest of us, fuck man you should see the stuff he says to ME. But regardless, she chooses how she thinks and feels and while I understand that Gita is a fragile creature, she comes back here because many of us have become her FRIENDS to any certain extent that the screen will allow friendships to form. Deal with that my friend. There are others. For my part, I have never, EVER messed with her in any way, hell I've gotten a package from her so that I may send something off to our dear sevensins who is held weekly in what can be termed as freshman prison. She did it out of the kindness of her heart and I intend to see it through. Tell me: does that seem false and fucking-with-people to you?
I own Rot. I thank it's an outstanding endeavor in life poetry. It's dirty and full of sin and fear and vulnerability and humanity and redemption. It's a truly human book and that is the best thing I can say about it. I am sorry, you cannot know how sorry, that Gita has become unstable again and is seeing ghosts of romance where none pass. There are levels of obsession that no ordinary conversation can heal. If you cannot deal with the fact that she requires medical help again and that you are not strong enough to be there this time around, it is time to be honest with yourself for HER sake and get out while you can, not to leave her to her doom but so YOUR attitudes don't make things worse. If you can't be a friend, get the fuck out before you become an enemy.
I think it's pretty clear that Radar is NOT Ed Vedder. While I have no actual proof of this outside of the return address on the book he sent me from MISSOURI, I think it's a pretty safe assumption. If Gita flirts with Radar and gets the two confused, there is nothing I can say or do to make it better for you. The words are up to you, the actions are up to you and her responses are up to her. Pretty cut and dried.
I am sorry about the whole serotonin deficiency thing. That explains her late nights and why she occasionally hears things. I guarantee that if she finds ways to get more sleep, she will find her life and her mind MUCH easier to get control of. I am sure she's on medication for it but serotonin deficiency can be caused by metastic carcinoid syndrome. Has she been tested for tumors or other malignancies? It may be wise to check it out. If an operation can save her mind and her life, I don't know whether I would condone it or not, but it would open an option not previously available. Just a thought.
And do you really think challenging EDDIE VEDDER to a fight is going to shock the answers out of people? Honestly the thought is laughable. And calling anyone names on this board out of anger and spite is only going to get you anger and spite in return, so let me be fair with you and tell you what I've said before. You have no rights here until earned and no respect here until earned, just like in real life. Thats one of the few ways I've been able to convince myself that this place and these people even exist is that they require a certain respect and certain sensitivity, each level tailored to each individual. That seems pretty damn human to me.
And telling him to call you? Come ON man. You didn't even leave a number. Also, you know, Ed's a pretty busy guy by all accounts. His schedule is pretty damn full. Hell, I've been trying to get his attention for months and it hasn't worked and I've contacted his home office 3 times personally and his fan club twice. I don't know the success you will have with that but I can say.... it isn't Ed's fault. He cannot help if a fan gets twitterpated or gets hot or obsesses over him. Fault is not HIS. I cannot be clear enough on this. Adoration comes from without, not from within. If Gita is pouring her adoration in a misplaced bucket, there is nothing we can do but let her pour and find out for herself that mistakes were made. That is the best thing in the world and mistakes and learning of making those mistakes means progression can begin.
Don't come in here lumping us all together as if we are one mold of clay. We are different people. We all care, we love, we do occasionally lie, how dare we for being human, we laugh, we cry, we do all these things and more. And because we each do them our own way we each do not deserve and neither have we earned the odd delineation of being under one title. Next time confront us singularly and personally with a heralded argument backed with proof positive that we are doing what you believe we are doing. Then we'll chat intelligently about what to do with the situation but UNTIL THAT TIME...
Learn how to deal with your own inadequacies in a relationship that you undoubtedly had some control over until Gita began to think freely again. Learn how to deal with the bad times in a relationship. Don't just give up and walk away. hammer at that fucker until the hammer breaks and then, you know what? USE THE FIST until you break your hand. My opinion, but if YOU care about her as much as YOU claim, I expect that you will do it, do it well, and do it right the fuck now.
Show us the love, brother man, and we'll show you ours. We all care about Gita and wish her no harm, merely the color and flowers and things that she loves so much. We worry as well.
Where do YOU stand now?
the initial and most dominant feeling is concern for gita because we all care very deeply for her. she always brings a fresh perspective and a ray of hope and sunshine into our day. it pains me to think she is struggling or hurt or in trouble - we'd never want any of those things for her. during one of her most recent times of trouble she expressed her feelings and concerns very openly with the people here - who in turn let her know how much she is cared for and how precious she is. the nature of her posts leading up to that time clearly showed a sadness or confusion. her posts lately haven't indicated that distress at all - on the contrary they have been hopeful and playful and cheerful.
i'm also confused and distressed by your accusations toward us and most specifically radar. i don't "know" anyone here beyond what is posted in threads that you yourself can read, but radar has never indicated nor implied that he is EV and i can concur with seta that radar's mailing address is in MO. i read almost every word posted on this forum and not a single person you've named would EVER wish to nor has in word or deed made any attempt to harm or humiliate or in your words "fuck with" gita. we all adore gita here, we look forward to chatting with her and listening to her points of view and to my knowledge not a single one of us has ever been false or insincere with her on that account.
this is a place where we choose to interract with people who encourage each other, laugh WITH each another, care for each another and support one another. for myself, everyone here has challenged me to be the best of myself and every minute i've spent here brings me closer to that end. gita has been very much a part of that experience.
i'm sorry that you are hurting and i'm sorry you feel so powerless in your situation. i'm sad that your pain has caused you to level pretty weighty and unfair charges against the some of the kindest souls i "know". but more than anything else, i'm thinking of gita and wishing that i understood what was going on with her and wishing i could make it better, wishing her peace and serenity and the happiness she brings to all of us, as i'm sure her friends here feel as well.
I hope your girlfriend gets the help she needs. I hope you can understand that you can't blame others for your girlfriend's problems, she obviously had them prior to posting here. Like I said earlier, if this place causes her upset & hurt, she should not be posting here--simple as that.
I hope this thread hasn't caused anyone to disappear from the board completely! It would be a damned shame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just give me the number and I'll call. I LOVE gita, with all my heart. If I could I would show up at her doorstep right this second, and tell her.
The people on this bord have nothing but love for her. She gives nothing less in return. She is our mother, our lover, our friend, and our sholder to lean on when we need to cry. I have beged her countless times not to hurt herself, and if she does......well I dont know what I'll do. I cant talk to her in person. To her I'm not real, but you are. You have to do something for her. GET HER HELP!!!!!!!!! please. All she ever wanted was love, but no one could give it. We all need to give it now before she fucking kills herself.
For something so fake, this is too fucking real.
http://www.myspace.com/alotalotbetweenus
I wish you all well.
--Jeremy
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!! One bad apple does not spoil the bunch. Well when you finish writing "rot II", at least let the diehards know it is out and where we can find a copy? I hope this is just temperary and there will be a change of heart. You can always PM me and let me know where I can go to catch some of your antics. They will be sorrily missed. Too bad!! Take care!!!!
This is what I was talking about! Damned shame!
You take care too and please keep in touch!
I wish you wouldn't go but I'm not going to tell you I want to jump off a bridge so you'll stay (yes this comment is rough but come on---this is just ridiculous!!!!!). I just hope you reconsider Jeremy!
THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD PEOPLE!!! A MESSAGE BOARD!!! I can't stress this enough.
one of the most beautiful posts i ever read was between gita and seven - they share a deep respect and love for one another. almost like a mother to a son - she encouraged him and comforted him the best way she was able in a time of trouble. and i've seen him do no less for her. so does it please you now to see the pain and torment seven is experiencing, wondering now if gita is going to leave and if there is something he or any of us should have done? there isn't you know, something else seven can do - he loves her and comforts as only he can and he is limited to by the method we chose to communicate with one another. its a fucked up thing you're doing to him - and gita, on her worst day, would never abide something so cruel.
if you love gita as you say you do - you too should know that feeling of anguish and helplessness - so does it make you feel better to lay that blame on a someone so young and innocent in all of this? and how about radar? cancerous? thats a great way to feel. behind his seussical and skywalker-ladden sense of humor, he's no different in that he feels and bleeds just like the rest of us. read rot or even some of his posts and you'll see that as clearly as the rest of us do.
its a messageboard of course, absolutely and undoubtedly it is. maybe i'm just troubled as well, but i care about the people i've met here and perhaps that was a foolish thing to do. its the trouble i've had all my life - when i give myself to something, i've never been able to take it back again. admittedly its also foolish making friends here since we don't really know one another - what brought us to this place - whats happened to us and what is happening when we aren't here.
how would you know that when i was 11 my mother attempted suicide on mother's day. and possibly why i'm taking this entirely too personally. i don't have to imagine all the things seven might be feeling or what you might be feeling because i know. 18 years later, regardless of the fact that it was just an attempt and that she did not suceed, its always still there - the guilt and the anguish and helplessness and anger that no amount of knowing the truth in my head can take away. the heart is a stubborn being and how could you know that moment - that one little moment - is more of who i am than all the years before and everything after it. because if you knew, i'd hope sincerely that you couldn't dabble so effortlessly in random accusations. i don't want to believe gita would allow something so unkind to be done in her name.
as for the rest of you, the happy to my phantom, and that are more successful in being so open and at the same time remain unattached - keep up your good works. of loving and communicating, of being honest and brave and keep raging, keep living, keep writing. the goodness you do is important and you've all been my little angels and my something to look forward to every day and i'm gonna miss that.
take care of yourselves.
Girl! WE ALL GOT SHIT! Since we're sharing here, I'll let you know why I can be detached. At different times, both my mother & my father have unsucessfully attempted suicide--feeling sorry for themselves. My father was, is and will always be a drunk. My mother ran off with my youngest sister's boyfriend--who used to hit my sisters and hit her too! She deserted her 3 daughters and now has 3 other kids with this guy---I have not seen or spoke to her in years and I probably never will. One of my best friends from childhood lied to me constanly & I let her take advantage of me for a very long time thinking I was being a good friend--well, I was---she was not. People who were close to me, shit on me--not all--but a lot! So, in order not to snap, not to lose it, in order to be there for my two little sisters---I detached. Sometimes I feel like crying about it---but what will that do---nothing except make my eyes red & puffy & my nose run. I DO care what happens to people but I cannot change them.
You can't blame others for your problems! You have to face them & deal with them & work on letting them go. And I hope all our lives are defined by all the moments in them, not just the one that we can't let go. That we do not just hold on to just the pain & the sadness. There is love and hope and dreams and in order to get by we need to hold on to those too!
Right on sister!!!
i'm pissed off that person would come here and say those things about radar or upset sevensins. he doesn't even come around to know what the hell goes on here or when he's never interracted with them. maybe its wrong of me to be concerned about them when i'm sure they are capable of taking care of themselves. i can handle anything someone wants to hurl at me, but i'm a little surprised at how i took this thread to heart.
it means to me, that i've got a problem myself because the lines here shouldn't be so. i wasn't prepared to feel as stronly as i did.
also i do understand detachment for reasons i can not discuss in a thread, but i wouldn't be here right now if i myself didn't find it useful from time to time and i wouldn't fault anyone for employing it as a means to get through a tough time.
if in any way BE, i made you feel as though i were lashing out at you or making light of ANYTHING you had to say or feel - i am offering my most sincere apology . my words were an off the cuff reaction to the situation - directed possibly at drummer but ultimately it seems myself as well because in the end what i said amounted to exactly what this thread was started with in the first place.
i'm sorry BE and the rest of you - i really am.
HELL NO! Please don't appologize! I did not feel lashed out at! I was just sharing! You are a sweet pea! And please, never appologize to me for saying anything! Say what you feel, I appreciate it! Even if it may be offensive. It takes a lot for me to really get personally offended.
i know i know...
still...
this thread is beyond laughable...
since when does bhagadavgita have a boyfriend? and if she had one, who here believes we would not all have every detail?
AND
who here with more than 1 billion synapses believes that ED would post on his own band's message board?
now Mike, yes... Mike posted here way back before I got here...
but Ed? please....
gimme a break!
drummerboy comes on and bhagadavgita replies with the words to the Lorax???
"all you do is yap yap and say bad, baD, bAD, BAD!!!"
hospitalized because of a message board....
good grief
to clarify these posts i must explain but my A.D.D is kicking in today and I feel nervous trying to express myself lately because i am afraid you will mis read what i write...
Drummer and I have been living together for 6 years.
he is 13 years younger than me, he is a good man, and a good friend and sadly
not
born
in my generation.....
I have not mentioned him much because I didn't want to really expose our relationship on here. We are very close. We are good friends and lovers but there has always been something wrong about us being us,,,,forever
he has his life ahead of him
and Im wanting to settle down....
we have talked and talked about this until we are blue in the face.....
he does not want to marry me or make a baby with me but somehow he stays with me. he wants me, but he doesn't want me....
does anyone understand that kind of relationship.
we stay together because...maybe its because the world is a hard place to survive alone. there are bills, housing, food, companionship and mental support. We probubly both stay together because there is no one else better. I know I am not his type, he is tall and likes long legged women and so he should! He is a tall and handsome man with bedroom eyes and a heart of a gold...he would do anything for you. so for him to share his feelings on here was a big challenge.
the sad part is, I am an square peg and he is a round one. WE can communicate with our minds sometimes, like i will think of him just before he calls on the phone, but talking to each other is hard, he doesn't understand me and i don't understand him.
He has only been trying to look out for me. He is also very brave to stay with me. not many men would stay with a woman if she were mentally ill. depression not only plagues me, it has riped apart many a relationship in my life, once people get to know me, that usually don't want to be with me. Maybe Drummer is stuck with me and i should leave him in peace. I just don't know where to go.
I have never seen him write like this before. These posts from him are very out of character....
He does not like conflict. He avoids it everywhere. This causes us many problems because he thinks relationships don't have conflicts. I said, if you have a problem with the message board, get on there and tell them what you think. I know he comes off gruff and accusational, but that is his way. I did ask him to help me by saying something and speaking out, for his own peace of mind,,,he has his own demons to fight as well. I am trying to believe in miracles while convincing him sometimes and in doing so i lose my own faith trying to make him believe....
i didn't know this would get so fucked up. i love this place. im sorry people. I don't mean it.
Although, Drummer and I are not destined to be together forever, we are together today because if it were not for him, I would not be here in Washington, the place i love so much.
Please welcome him.... He is just trying to help.
Dear God or Big Bird or Whoever...
the day I started writing,
was the day we started fighting.
I never dreamed it would cause so much pain
for so many people.
Please forgive me.
I just wanted to tell a story thats all.......
and to seven and radar. I never meant to cause either of you pain. i love you both.
i love you all.