trying something new...hope you all like it

sevensins

ok i am going to try something new. This is a fast paced rock & roll style song.
i just wrote litarily the wole song, drums,gtr.,bass,everything!my brain is overloaded!!!
_____________________________________________________________

Seven
"my extacy"

what you doing
my extacy
lookin' for a place to be
controled confution
harnessed hate kill or die
control your fate

(gtr.)____________________

what you doing
can i see
a place for cofort
a place for me
stop the silence of the sin
the more you kill the more you win

(gtr.)_____________________

if i told you you would wake
to stair back at your mistake
controlled madness
creates my sadness
watch my pain
youll feel the same

(gtr.)______________________

sevensins

just thought of some lyrics.i will write them hear to avoid forgeting them.

what i breath into you
is something new
something pure
and if you see my pain
breath into me
and fill my vains

i like that

sevensins

from lack of response ive concluded u all indeed dont like it, so what dont u like about it? i am open to critisim.

CHLOE DANCER

I like it.
1st was yea- i can see, and the latter well I like that one.

sevensins

latter...you lost me, im stupid

CHLOE DANCER

sorry so am I-
The one written to keep from forgetting.

sevensins

ahhhhhhhhh...thanks

setaside2

seven, I'm working on this, I swear. Give me a bit. but I thought I'd bump it for ya just in case.


me

sevensins

is it THAT bad that u need some time some to think about how to break it to me?

setaside2

LOL NO you silly fool.

Give me time!

It's just that your style and mine are different. I have to wrap my mind around your style. THAT's ALL.

sevensins

we'll wile your doing that i wil TRY to sleep for once

sevensins

Originally posted by sevensins
just thought of some lyrics.i will write them hear to avoid forgeting them.

what i breath into you
is something new
something pure
and if you see my pain
breath into me
and fill my vains

i like that

i wrote the rest, for the 2 of u that care

setaside2

seven, if there is any sort of "problem" (and I'm not sure there is) it's just that it's a very soft opening that there is no real closure to this piece.

But a lot of music is like that, so I don't see it as a big deal. If it were trying to stand on it's own as a poem, then I would say to shore up the front and back ends, but for your purposes, the music will be more than adequate.

seta

hope that helps.

sevensins

thank you ill work on this when i get some time, i have been writing alot lately