"need to sleep, must tired self out by writing" (aka "the bourne simplicity")

sevensins

{aka "the promise"}

my brain is scattered sause on a saucer readdy to be served to my most recent compony, i made the tea for her in respects for aspects, i expected to be rejected, but i recieved more than i barrgened for from the high tailed bible pusher who forced me to marry after our first kiss

one may ask what my tie has to do with my eyes and why they must match, or why i need to where cloths at all, many servants of serpants in my pants would agree that happieness is the place to be, oh what a place it is

if i should be forced to dual for the girl i feel it will be difficult because my gun isnt loaded and his is faceing his own head, ready to fill himself with lead at the drop of a hat used to collect raffles

make me your scrabbled concoction of simplton siplisities and etra-ciricular activities, made for a made for tv infomertial, and i will reward you with years of love and a kiss on the lips for every night i am allowed to sleep next to you

some days i wonder why every time someone descibes anyone they say there "smart and funny" and in the same breath sware that were all different, my choice of words may bother you some day so beware the fair before you ride this train back to insain, back to a plain or a plane were we will all lie patiently waiting for it to crash into yet another momument of american supremicy

sevensins

why am i the only one who ever likes my rambles?

FinsburyParkCarrots

It could do with a spell check, but it has the potential to be a good song lyric if you played around with the rhythm over a musical accompaniment.

sevensins

i shall never ever use spell check, people should relise that by now......i'm stoborn and i have my resons......no i prefer it as a ramble

Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
It could do with a spell check, but it has the potential to be a good song lyric if you played around with the rhythm over a musical accompaniment.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Imagine a man who phones up a builders' yard, ordering a huge lump of stone to be delivered to his back yard. The man then calls a famous art dealer, who comes around to be presented with the lump of stone that the man has called "Aphrodite at the Waterhole". The art dealer says, "Even if you were to claim that this found object were conceptual, I would contest that this is just a lump of stone and that you, Sir, are having me on". The man replies, "No, this is art." The dealer scrutinises him closely, strokes his chin and says "Look, you couldn't have picked a less anthropomorphic bit of stone if you tried. I'm not buying it unless you do something with it to make it remotely worth anyone's interest". The man says, "No, I'm stubborn. I'm keeping it as it is".
The dealer asks, "Well, why bother trying to put it on display then?"

DopeBeastie

Originally posted by sevensins
why am i the only one who ever likes my rambles?

dude, i fucking LOVE your rambles

no shit

and i am thoroughly self-convinced that you purposefully mispell to irk... fight the power, baby



now... for reals... i'm outta here (For now)

FinsburyParkCarrots

To "fight the power", or the dominant linguistic and ideological structures of language, one must learn the code of the symbolic order and then subvert it from within towards a statement of radical jouissance. Otherwise one is eternally marginal and contained by linguistic "otherness".

sevensins

i'm good with my shitty stone, i'll just live under the pile and through it at people who tell me to move it

ISN

to fight the jumbling rumbling orchestra of the tundra....you must first master the toaster....you must master the toaster....otherwise your bread will be your bed.....in order to subvert the vert....Bert....you must sumbit...the gambit.....and lean to spell.....

I personally like them the way they are.....

setaside2

seven I don't need to tell you this but I'm going to anyway.

don't let anyone tell you how to express what you have to say.

honesty and dream will go further than any structure could ever carry.

there is no structure to pure emotive release... in fact, there is no structure to purity.

I have, and will forever, enjoy your rebellion.

you know me.

ISN

sevensins you are a manument of mangled parchment whereon is written......toodle

suede

It's hard to get past all of the errors. I agree, the misspelling seems like it's done on purpose. The poems are good, but you make your readers work too hard with all of the errors. Other than that, you've shown some clever wit in your work.

Originally posted by sevensins
why am i the only one who ever likes my rambles?

FinsburyParkCarrots

I respectfully offer advice within the ambit of the board's guidelines, for improving a work that no-one was reading at all before I replied. There is talent expressed in sevensins' writing but it would be very much improved with a little editing.

jboelhow

We've got a classic debate going on here, and I have been on both sides of the coin. When I started writing I would mess around with the spelling of words, like "hart" "i", stuff like that. My English teacher in high school encouraged me to continue with it, if I felt that was me. My favorite musician, Prince, is famous for this type of writing. Heck he changed his name to a symbol, can't spell check that.
Plus, I prided myself on never re-writing a poem either.
Then, my poetry really started to get noticed, I won a young author award, have been published in different books and magazines. (Not enough to live on, I'm not a great poet, but I keep trying) And in college a professor really challenged me. What did I want out of my work? If I simply wanted to express myself, stay on the track I was. If I wanted something more I would have to master the language, I would have to rework my poems, down to each word. Since then I have learned to balance the to sides, (look my coin is standing on the edge) The stuff I want to be expressions, are just that, but when I am trying to make the world aware, I edit and revise.
So, sevensins, my little opinion is that you are the creator of your work. Weigh what your creations is meant to do and act accordingly.
Just my thoughts... but no matter what, don't stop writing. You have powerful words...

EvilToasterElf

Originally posted by ISN
to fight the jumbling rumbling orchestra of the tundra....you must first master the toaster....you must master the toaster....otherwise your bread will be your bed.....in order to subvert the vert....Bert....you must sumbit...the gambit.....and lean to spell.....

I personally like them the way they are.....

The toasters are Mine!

Poetry should be wielded with the precision of a scalpel not the power of a club, these spelling errors are not planned, it's a stream of consciousness, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's clearly raw material, raw material with promise.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Originally posted by jboelhow
We've got a classic debate going on here, and I have been on both sides of the coin. When I started writing I would mess around with the spelling of words, like "hart" "i", stuff like that. My English teacher in high school encouraged me to continue with it, if I felt that was me. My favorite musician, Prince, is famous for this type of writing. Heck he changed his name to a symbol, can't spell check that.
Plus, I prided myself on never re-writing a poem either.
Then, my poetry really started to get noticed, I won a young author award, have been published in different books and magazines. (Not enough to live on, I'm not a great poet, but I keep trying) And in college a professor really challenged me. What did I want out of my work? If I simply wanted to express myself, stay on the track I was. If I wanted something more I would have to master the language, I would have to rework my poems, down to each word. Since then I have learned to balance the to sides, (look my coin is standing on the edge) The stuff I want to be expressions, are just that, but when I am trying to make the world aware, I edit and revise.
So, sevensins, my little opinion is that you are the creator of your work. Weigh what your creations is meant to do and act accordingly.
Just my thoughts... but no matter what, don't stop writing. You have powerful words...

I acknowledge your sentiments whilst being sufficiently acquainted with linguistics to know when misspelling is involuntary, as it is in this case.

The ancient Irish fili, a class of bards, maintained Celtic tradition, arguably also preserving elements of classical civilisation, through the medieval dark ages. Their poetry respects an oral and written construction of individual and collective identity that is facilitated by the form and structure of, say, bardic lay or epic verse. In many respects, the content is the structure of poetry; they are intertwined given the self-referentiality of poetic language.

The fili took great steps to try to standardise their writing. Some of it was even in Latin whilst still being, in Yeats's words, "Indomitably Irish".

It should also be pointed out that adherence to form and structure in art has historically kept "subversive" cultures alive. During the Penal times in Ireland too, when written Irish was banned, the oral and written tradition flourished mainly because of its structuring of an auditory unconscious and a collective experience perpetuating a cultural consciousness.

Without structure, dreams die.

I wish sevensins all the best with his writing.

Being Enlightened

"my brain is scattered sause on a saucer readdy to be served to my most recent compony, i made the tea for her in respects for aspects, i expected to be rejected, but i recieved more than i barrgened for from the high tailed bible pusher who forced me to marry after our first kiss"

I like the flow. The "scattered sauce on a saucer" & "respects for aspects, i expected to be rejected" just sound so excellent when spoken!

Good schtuff there, sevensins! Thanks for sending it our way!

sevensins

well, my little ditty hear has seem to make a splash in the vast world of the pearl jam message board. I feel that I, being the only one who really knows the true intentions of my “poem”, should be the one to speak on it’s behalf.

My intention was, as far as why i wrote it, had nothing to do with sparking some debate about structure in poetry. I wrote a ramble about the feelings human beings have towards one another, whether it be the feelings between lovers, friends, enemies, even strangers. The poem was about love and I never wanted to start a fight with it.

As for spelling errors, and whether there intentional. Well I do not claim to be a excellent speller by any means, and i cant say that all the errors themselves are intentional. Rather that my unwillingness to correct the spelling of the words is intentional. I have a urge to keep my writing raw.........like sushi. Some people view it as a delicacy, others as unfinished nasty crap......i think we can all agree i have both those traits. Thank you to everyone who likes my work, fuck you to everyone that doesn’t

oh and B.E., thanks you seemed to understand my ramble

FinsburyParkCarrots

It's not a fight, it's a gentle discussion, and I enjoyed it.



And I never said I didn't like your poem. If I didn't I would never have bothered responding.

jboelhow

Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
It's not a fight, it's a gentle discussion, and I enjoyed it.



And I never said I didn't like your poem. If I didn't I would never have bothered responding.

I would agree. Form and the intentions of the author are very important to understanding any literature. Be it a "ramble" or a novel. I'm sorry sevensins if I offened you, that was not my purpose. I only wished to share.... poet to poet

ISN

thanks Finsbury, I enjoyed reading about the Irish bards.......I'll have to re-read that section......I love that phrase 'indomitably Irish'.......nobody will hever dom me.....:D