singin for sevensins

BhagavadGita

so you aren't so blue
i will sing to you
River by Joni Mitchell

It’s coming on christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don’t snow here
It stays pretty green
I’m going to make a lot of money
Then I’m going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I’m so hard to handle
I’m selfish and I’m sad
Now I’ve gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye

It’s coming on christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

sevensins

tearfully swileing.....
with dry the tears
thank you gita





"Know"
Know that I love you, know I don't care.
Know that I see you, know I'm not there.



"Parasite"
Lifting the mask from a local clown, feeling down like him.
Seeing the light in a station bar and travelling far in sin.
Sailing downstairs to the northern line, watching the shine of the shoes.
And hearing the trial of the people there, who's to care if they lose?
And take a look, you may see me on the ground for I am the parasite of this town.
Dancing a jig in a church with chimes, a sign of the times today.
And hearing no bell from a steeple tall, people all in dismay.
Falling so far on a silver spoon, making the moon for fun.
And changing a rope for a size too small, people all get hung.
Take a look and see me coming through for I am the parasite who travels two by two.
When lifting the mask from a local clown and feeling down like him.
And I'm seeing the light in a station bar and travelling far in sin.
And I'm sailing downstairs to the northern line watching the shine of the shoes.
And hearing the trials of the people there, who's to care if they lose?
And take a look you may see me on the ground for I am the parasite of this town.
And take a look you may see me in the dirt for I am the parasite who hangs from your skirt.



"Place To Be"
When I was younger, younger than before, I never saw the truth hanging from the door.
And now I'm older, see it face to face. Now I'm older, gotta get up, clean the place.
And I was green, greener than the hills where the flowers grew and sun shone still.
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea. Just hand me down, give me a place to be.
And I was strong, strong in the sun. I thought I'd see when day is done.
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue._ Oh, so weak in this need for you.

Random Access

Ahhhh, one of my favorite Joni Mitchell songs. I know you didn't post this for me, but thanks so much anyway! I sing it to myself a lot when I'm standing outside, smoking a cigarette, waiting for my ride home at night.

I'm glad it makes sevensins and (hopefully) everyone else feel better too! It always helps me.

BhagavadGita

your welcome Random.

I sang it for Seven on Wednesday and by Thursday i was adding teary water to that river myself.

sevensins

why gita? why were you sad?

BhagavadGita

Originally posted by sevensins
why gita? why were you sad?

"The American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (commonly known as DSM-IV because it is in its fourth major edition) says, "Bipolar Disorder is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Major Depressive Episodes accompanied by at least one Manic Episode." So even if you're depressed 99 percent of the time, going through just one manic episode qualifies you for a diagnosis of bipolar disorder according to this definition - but that still leaves out a lot of what manic depression really is.

So let's put it in terms everyone can understand. Bipolar disorder is an illness that affects thoughts, feelings, perceptions and behavior ... even how a person feels physically (known clinically as psychosomatic presentations). It's probably caused by electrical and chemical elements in the brain not functioning properly (see What Causes Bipolar Disorder? for more information), and is usually found in people whose families have a history of one or more mental illnesses. (While we're at it, let's be clear about something: a "mental illness" is one that affects the mind, not one that's all in the mind.)

Most often, a person with manic-depression experiences moods that shift from high to low and back again in varying degrees of severity. The two poles of bipolar disorder are mania and depression. This is the least complicated form of the illness."


Which starts a train of saddness that goes like this:
Im 40, unemployed, been fired from past two jobs (which were good jobs) because I have a mental illness and end up not being able to cope like normal people in a work environment, I live with a man who doesn't really know me or love me like i want but is a saint because he takes care of me and has not left me yet (i tell him that is only a matter of time), I miss my child but he is better off being raised by his father and thats good but he won't be raised by me, my family, sister mother and grandmother all hate each other and me, i live on less than 1200 dollars a month, i am afraid i will never become a writer, i am afraid there is no god, i am afraid that miracles dont' happen to me, i am afraid my dream man will never know i am alive, i am afraid of becoming more insane, i am afraid all my friends will leave me, many have, i am afraid of dying, pennyless and alone and to top it off, i can't get that flaming lips song out of my head telling me everyone i know will die some day and it gets dark early here in seattle and when that happens all i want to do is be born again as someones baby so i dont have to think about how my life is halfway over and im still very sad.


That's pretty much explains the process

sevensins

I have NO IDEA what to say...... I'm sorry about you life. I too know the troubles of lifes hell. I keep my faith, but am not afraid to question. I know you will find everything you have ever wanted in life one day, just dont give up, ever. Love will find you even if you stop looking. And you ARE a writer. You dont have to be publish to be a writer.

BhagavadGita

The Last Time I Saw Richard
by Joni Mitchell

---

The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in '68
And he told me all romantics meet the same fate someday
Cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe
You laugh he said you think you're immune
Go look at your eyes they're full of moon
You like roses and kisses and pretty men to tell you
All those pretty lies pretty lies
When you gonna realise they're only pretty lies
Only pretty lies just pretty lies

He put a quarter in the Wurlitzer and he pushed
Three buttons and the thing began to whirr
And a bar maid came by in fishnet stockings and a bow tie
And she said "Drink up now it's gettin' on time to close"
"Richard, you haven't really changed" I said
It's just that now you're romanticizing some pain that's in your head
You got tombs in your eyes but the songs you punched are dreaming
Listen, they sing of love so sweet, love so sweet
When you gonna get yourself back on your feet?
Oh and love can be so sweet Love so sweet

Richard got married to a figure skater
And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percoator
And he drinks at home now most nights with the TV on
And all the house lights left up bright
I'm gonna blow this damn candle out
I don't want nobody comin' over to my table
I got nothing to talk to anybody about
All good dreamers pass this way some day
Hidin' behind bottles in dark cafes dark cafes
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings and fly away
Only a phase these dark cafe days

sevensins

you get through those days.
I will help you from afar as you have helped me. ok?

Random Access

I'm so very sorry to hear that Ms Gita.....

I try to remember that there are always good days to help us (all) through the bad ones.

It doesn't make the bad ones any easier certainly, but I try to enjoy the good ones because they are like small gifts to make up for the lousy things in life.

I saw a movie on tv a few years ago about the life of C.S. Lewis (the author of a favorite set of books of mine: The Chronicles of Narnia, as well as numerous writings on God, religion, philosophy, what have you). You may know his work?

Anyway, in this movie, Anthony Hopkins played C.S. Lewis, and at the end of the movie, he spoke about the loss of his wife, and how when you are in love, it's like you make a deal with God, knowing that as much as you love that person, and the amount of joy it brings to you, that's the same amount of negative feelings you will also experience. Something about: That's the deal....

I try to see life that way--Take the good when you can. Enjoy it when you can, love it when you can, revel in it as much as possible. The bad comes, and we will have to deal with it one way or the other, might as well enjoy when it's not around. Sometimes it even helps when the bad things come. (not always, but....) although I don't battle the same dragons you do....we all have some dragons.

My hopes for you are that you experience more of the good days then the bad ones....actually that's my hope for everyone, but I hope you realize that you're a very courageous person, and probably much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
- I read a lot of the poetry here and I always like reading the things you write. I find your ability to present words as visual art quite touching and satifying to my head, you paint pictures and don't even need paint.

Peace to you, may more happiness come your way
***********************
I want to be strong
I want to laugh along
I want to belong to the living
Alive, alive,
I want to get up and jive
I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive

Joni Mitchell - All I Want