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FancyFacadeFancyFacade Posts: 330
edited June 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
hi, just thought i would share a couple poems. i hope this first one brings you joy.

"these words are written from roses with thorns"

put your hands in the dirt
feel in the cold dirt
there's no earthworms
there's dirt, and light
sunlight and water
with no impurities
drink the water
lay in the dirt
grow up strong
in the sun
no winter
only spring
the beginning part of spring
and only God talked to you
no one else was around
just you, laying in the dirt
growing up strong
He nurtured you with all His love
He strengthened you
and sighed at your beauty
just you and Him on a warm tropical planet
you grew up strong
and you went for a swim
diving into the shallow calm ocean
all yours
you got tired and said
"Daddy, im tired"
and He picked you up, dried you off with His love towel
and cradled you in His arms for hours
you were so comfortable in His arms
that felt like love, total love
that you slept there for a long time
then you woke up
and He cradled you closer to Him
and put His arms around your back
and you began to talk about
the sad times and He wiped every tear away
then you weren't sad anymore
and He had such a gleam in His eye
such a beautiful warm pair of eyes
that looked like love
that you got to see
forever and ever

He took you to another place
where there were many people
and He carried you on His arm
everyone was scared of Him, so
no one messed with you

you would write each other songs
and He showed you a book of songs
that He had written
all about you

He had several of them
but He showed you just one right now
He wanted the others to be a surprise...




(untitled)

i dont have
a single promise
that is true
to give to you

there is absolutely nothing praiseworthy about me

let the rain fall.
tell me how you feel.
please dont hide all the mystery from me.

i want to know everything.
i want to be your friend.
always to lift you up to the place where you belong.

i have been hiding everything about myself
been lying to the world, with this little mask
but the paint is wearing off,
and the grey, wretched plain cardboard
is now in the naked eye.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    As an experiment, might I please suggest that you copy and paste the first poem in the typographical format of continuous prose? Don't add any punctuation to what you've done: Just string the lines together so it reads like a stream-of-consciousness monologue. It's a great tour de force, this poem, and I think it will be even more dynamic if it runs into one flow with no line breaks. Then, I feel the joy will be superabundantly bright.

    Thanks.

    :)
  • FancyFacadeFancyFacade Posts: 330
    put your hands in the dirt. feel in the cold dirt. there's no earthworms. there's dirt, and light; sunlight and water with no impurities. drink the water. lay in the dirt. grow up strong. in the sun. no winter. only spring; the beginning part of spring, and only God talked to you. no one else was around. just you, laying in the dirt, growing up strong. He nurtured you with all His love. He strengthened you, and sighed at your beauty. just you and Him on a warm tropical planet. you grew up strong, and you went for a swim, diving into the shallow calm ocean. all yours. you got tired and said, "Daddy, im tired." and He picked you up, dried you off with His love towel, and cradled you in His arms for hours. you were so comfortable in His arms, that felt like love, total love, that you slept there for a long time. then you woke up, and He cradled you closer to Him, and put His arms around your back, and you began to talk about the sad times, and He wiped every tear away. then you weren't sad anymore. and He had such a gleam in His eye; such a beautiful warm pair of eyes that looked like love
    that you got to see forever and ever.

    He took you to another place where there were many people, and He carried you on His arm. everyone was scared of Him, so
    no one messed with you.

    you would write each other songs, and He showed you a book of songs that He had written all about you.

    He had several of them, but He showed you just one right now.
    He wanted the others to be a surprise...


    .......


    hows that
  • FancyFacadeFancyFacade Posts: 330
    btw, thank you for your suggestion!
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    Yeah!

    :)

    Just my suggestion! The first version was great too.
  • FancyFacadeFancyFacade Posts: 330
    how did it make you feel? just wondering
  • FancyFacadeFancyFacade Posts: 330
    one of my favorite scriptures:

    Psalm 126:5

    Those who sow tears shall reap joy.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    How did make me feel? I would never evade a question. I was inspired and I felt full of life. Full of joy. Thank you. The feeling hasn't worn off yet.
  • FancyFacadeFancyFacade Posts: 330
    that is cool, i am so happy it made you feel that way!!!!!


    xooxoxxo
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