Song...

PaulJam

I wrote a song about this girl, well, woman that I used to go out with, took for granted and then realised what I had...when it was too late. Any comments, suggestions on how to improve it etc? At the moment it's like some kind of speed country thing (speed country, ha!), which is not what I want. Aherm...

---

King Of Your Kingdom

---

Take me back to your's honey
You know I want to go there now
Cus I feel pain when I'm not in your arms
And it's tearing me up somehow

I wanna taste the warmth, sugar
Won't you let me inside?
It's really rainin’ out here and
I don't wanna find a place to hide

Oh, I'm not asking for much baby
You know you need to understand
These feelings for you are purified
When you hold them in your hands

Let me be the King of your Kingdom
x2

Responsibilities that I once sold
Aint indicative no more
Cus I want to be a better man
The sacrifices I must endure

Now I've got my guitar here
Just like me she needs a home
And the songs she sings are heartfelt
They are the words that bear my soul

Oh, I'm not asking for much baby
You know you need to understand
These feelings for you are purified
You gotta hold them in your hands

Let me be the King of your Kingdom
x2

You know I hear the things they say about life
You don't get no second chance
Well I'll tell you a little thing 'bout love
You've got to feel it to understand

Let me be the King of your Kingdom
x2

Yeah, your love is a Kingdom
And I want to be King

Sampradaha

Quaint! Has this special person heard it yet?

-Sam

john girl

what does the music sound like?

your on the
channel to Elvis

Sampradaha

-Maybe blues, the idea of speed country is frightening!

PaulJam

Nah she hasn't heard it and I doubt she will.

The music, well I'm going to see if my guitar playing friend Nik to see if he feels anything for it but I'll probably try and write something better.

Anyone have any thoughts on these?.... (Second one has quite a lot of meaning, first one is just about a fetish)

Inspired by The Velvet Underground...

---Strawberry Baby (Take me into your dreamworld)---

Now she got those strawberry smiles
And those snake-like eyes, ooh
She’s been living a faraway place where the wolves cry

And now she sittin’ on my knee talkin’ bout strawberry
A secret fantasy and it’s gotta be me, yeah

Now she’s talkin’ like nothing else will do
She says it’s gotta my baby, she said it’s gotta be you

So she takes me deep into her fantasy, ouch
Makin’ me go all slippin’ and a slidin’ like an undertow
She says make me cry, make me wet
She wants a ride that she aint never gonna forget

Strawberry baby, said it’s gotta be me
Strawberry baby
Strawberry baby

Strawberry baby, take me into your dreamworld
Strawberry baby
Strawberry baby, yeah

I see the World through her strawberry eyes, ooh
It’s lookin’ like a rainbow
Yeah, it’s lookin’ like a rainbow

And I see the beautiful pictures that she sees when she cries
And the brazened platform on which she stands
And that faraway place with the fireflies
See her dreams standing next to a rock n roll band

Cus it’s multi-coloured, silhouette
She said she always remembers to forget, now
And her head’s in a place where everything’s fine
Cus it’s a world full of dreams that signify

My strawberry baby, said it’s gotta be me
Strawberry baby
Strawberry baby

Strawberry baby, take me into your dreamworld
Strawberry baby
Strawberry baby

And everything’s gonna be just fine
Rockin’ and’a rollin’ away from this place
Away from the cauldron of bitter lies, yeah
Everything they taught was just bitter lies, yeah

Cus in your world it’s just a strawberry heaven
And the lips on your face are a gift you’ve been given

So she takes me deep into her fantasy, ouch
Makin’ me go all slippin’ and a slidin’ like an undertow
She says make me cry, make me wet
She wants to go for a ride that she’ll never forget

My strawberry baby, said it’s gotta be me
Strawberry baby
Strawberry baby

Strawberry baby, take me into your dreamworld
Strawberry baby
Strawberry baby


Inspired by Rage Against the Machine...

---Lead us to your Truth, Holy Man---

Never did believe in heaven
So many different ways to go
All of the things that we’ve been given
Do not equate to what we’ve been told

Deep we cry, fight to stay within
I want to be inside, if it’s not too much to bear
Fighting to stay within this sovereign of truth
Take my hand and together we’ll go there

Constantly dreaming that our souls lie in waiting
And it’s the truth that they burnt
And it’s the truth they’ve negated

Vehicle of force they still use to pry
Mirrors a truth that we once held inside
But if we could just conquer
The lies that we’re bound by
Then life would be cleansing
And this would be our time


We belong to ourselves and not them
We belong to ourselves and not them
We belong to ourselves and not them
We belong to ourselves and not them

Fuck the games, fuck what they sold us
Yet still you say it’s too much to take
If you won’t fight then I’ll fight for two
Cus they aint gonna stop until we break

mccreadyisgod

Kind of a "Lisa Says" vibe, there?

john girl

and you were inspired by The Velvet Underground?

You are cool, and my kind of man!

What was the problem with that girl, again?

like your lyrics alot!

PaulJam

Thanks for the positive feedback. The story with the girl is nothing insteresting, except she could probably have any guy she wants and probably is going to have EVERY guy, which is kind of annoying. But oh well. Just gotta keep writing songs and maybe one day we'll all be half as good as Ed the Ved.

mccreadyisgod - what is Lisa Says? I don't think I've heard that before...

Peace.

-Paul