you can't bring me back (dreams)

ExodusExodus Posts: 212
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
did i just waste and hour and a half of my life? It's debatable. It was probably better for my mind than anything else. Sure i could have gotten a lot done in that time, but the key there is COULD. The question is: WOULD i have gotten anything done at all? not very likely. Dreams escape me now. my hold on them was lost not 10 minutes ago but they still hover over my thoughts like the bright sun shining down on a busy city, everyone rushing around to get where they need to go. they take forms of ideas i've never heard, guitar riffs i've never played and poems i never wrote. so many, in fact, that it's hard to choose what to focus on. this might come out as being distracted easily, but that's only because i am. i can see images of lush green grasses and tree covered medows turned around to buildings that scrape the clouds gray. clouds that haunt over everything i do. following me like a lost puppy, almost enticing but not quite sure if it's friendly. the clouds roll by.
here i'm a witness to my life. watching as time goes by, minutes as hours, days as seconds, unrestricted and unbound. I'm still wasting my life, one minute at a time. no one knows how hard i hold onto this dream of mine. So now, i scream loud so i can hear myself, warn myself. now i know how it feels not to be heard. seems it's like that sometimes, so i keep my mouth shut. watching your life can be more painfull than living it.
my thoughts and feelings mixed and i don't know where to go. a million different paths before me and only one is right. or i could just stay here and waste away, deciding what's worse: not knowing my own feelings, or the thing that caused them. both still linger in my mind like parasites that won't give up. there is no answer here, there is no sympathy. no love, no lust, and nothing left to loose, except for myself. not even one sound to ignore.
letting the air flow around me, letting the sun shine on me, letting myself get lost in me. nothing else could be better.
describe to me what your dreams are like and every new colour you see. tell me what you think on all the things i say, every stupid word that comes out and if you agree. that's what it's like to me. the shadow that i am, sliding away forever, never to be the same again. into another side. a shadow of myself, slipping away to nowhere. and i've been there before. away from me. as the clouds roll by, i slip away.
Between the conception and the creation

Between the emotion and the response

Falls the shadow.
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