Decent lyrics (I think?), need music

moonrisingmoonrising Posts: 4
edited September 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
These lyrics seemed to come out of me. I'm working on the music, but I haven't been very good making songs on guitar up to this point, so I thought I'd put it here to see if anyone who's good at writing chord exchanges, riffs, etc. wanted to put some music to it. Of course let me know what you think if you care to...

When we met the world seemed to stop for us
my day was filled with eagerness
just to talk with you...
and touch your hair and see your face
the days went by and I fell in love
with your ways of fun and your simple way of
winking at me
and thinking that we
had it all
I thought we had it all

Turns out you've been through it all before
intimacy and passion and more
seems to be in your past
and you're done with the last
And when I came along you jumped at me
a man on your arm for all to see
it didn't matter to you
that your love was through
if only my heart knew

Chorus
It seems like all this time you've been pretending
and all the messages of love I'm sending
are falling on closed eyes and ears
confirming all my deepest fears
and it's killing me
that you can't see the man you have in me

Bridge
When I wake up and look into your eyes
you look away and another part of my heart dies
I long to see you look at me
with the love and the passion
so many other boys got to see

Verse
Now I'm locked in a place that I can't stand
Unable to reach out and hold your hand
Wondering what you're thinking of
when you lie to me and fake that you're in love
Will I ever again get to feel
a love exchange that is real?
Is your flame out for good
do we leave that as understood?

Chorus

My world and all my time in it is ending
Is there any hope the messages I'm sending
will get through to you and reach your heart
and all the walls keeping us apart
will let me be
will let us be
in love
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • moonrising...

    wow... tough place to come from when song writing. the pain and the blame all out in the open like that? and you have to sing it?!... i don't know about you, but when I sing a line I wrote that cuts really close to the wide open truth, I often falter and damn near cry right in the middle of the line... at least at first, anyway, until I get used to having the words all out on my sleeve like that....

    another tough place for me in songwriting is when the words come first... and if a melody comes with the words (without chords?) i'm generally fucked if I wanna turn it into a song... the very best i've done is to set the words aside and play guitar until some progression comes out that makes me feel the words... THEN I have to go back to the words and re-work them to fit the chord structure of the song...

    I've read some interviews in which Eddie is asked, "Do the words come first?" and invariably, Eddie says "The music always comes first."


    If you've got your mind set on turning these words into a song, then settle down with something simple. Do you play electric or acoustic? Do you "do" the dropped-D thing and the power chords? If you do, I am wholly without advice.

    But if it's folksy-type stuff, acoustic guitar and stuff... then start with a simple three or four chord structure in 4/4 time. D C F G...

    A E D C or G... that kind of thing. Work the time around the vocal phrasing in the song... you'll probably have to work some of the words around the chordal (word?) phrasing, too...


    I was moved to write ONE song to a poem, once... I had to re-write the poem into lyrics, but it worked really nicely. Now, of course... I wait and wait and wait for Mike and Jeff to accept my offer to be in my band.... cuz this song in particular needs a wicked base line and some solo work...



    ....they haven't called....


    hmpf


    ;)
  • Originally posted by PastaNazi
    moonrising...

    wow... tough place to come from when song writing. the pain and the blame all out in the open like that? and you have to sing it?!... i don't know about you, but when I sing a line I wrote that cuts really close to the wide open truth, I often falter and damn near cry right in the middle of the line... at least at first, anyway, until I get used to having the words all out on my sleeve like that....
    SNIP

    Thanks for your response PN. You're right about it being a little hard to sing out loud. I'm almost able to do it without welling up, but I figure in order to get into the place to sing it I'll have to get in touch, and hey, love pain is a great muse.

    I'm working on the chords. I agree with exactly what you say about music. I seem to be able to write little riffs, and write words, but putting the two together is not easy. I figure when inspiration hits it will be meant to be. So I'm doing as you said and putting these aside until they match up with some music.

    Thanks again for your words.

    -mooonrising
  • well--im no expert--i dont really have anything to add, but i wanted to say: your lyrics touched me--and that is a very sad song---but i thank you for it--
  • i thought it was very well written---and it really tugged at my heart--
  • nailz100nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    I'll try and take it an throw some chords on it for ya
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
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