forever hold your peace

xmascleanlovexmascleanlove Posts: 55
edited March 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
"forever hold your peace"

finally having decided
on a final lover
she's begun to notice
the plush carpeted altar

(a false but welcome comfort)

to be nothing more than
a destraction
from tripping on her pretty trail

with each footstep
the avalanche of steps
become steeper

as her stand-in father
takes the hand of fates daughter
handing her over
to be bathed
in sentiment

washed in white satin, her smile proves infectious
to rows of pews
filled with the masses,
glowing from cascading sunlight
dripping through christ
frozen in stained glass
shattered, like faith
by a stone

while a closet of villians
who've worn her bedsheets bare

(sticky recollections she's left in warm showers)

find her to sign her
hallmark card
majestic ending

does this not prove storybooks flammable too?

after all the bad guys won
this dapper romeo
wrapped in black tie and attatched
to red bow
found his ring had no trouble
fitting a tattered finger

but has the world not ground him down as well
after all,
the cheap find only faithful approval
in the cheap

karma has crawled, hand and knee,
his bloody trail
of broken hearts
palms now cut
by recycled glass

it guides fear on wings
to his ears
already full of collected, whispered rumors

he sighs in hindsight
at all the tears his passion drew
longing to collapse
from the weight of so many
hopeful eyes
bearing down on him

time is but salt for their wounds

reassurances falter
a dam of apathy collapses

the irony of pity
being such a burden

she's been craved so long
an immunity to desire
has developed

it glazes over her tired eyes
that accept
indifference as a spectator
at loves ceremony
reaching finality

a kiss
ment for fireworks
tastes of chilling contempt

sober relatives bother with smiles
as they walk over stale rice

her life
once a tango with many
is replaced
during their first dance

trading away her last name for this title

princeless princess

feet scarred by shattered glass
when her slippers fell apart
and the horses turned to mice

she crosses the threshold
of mortal eternity
never touching the ground (though dropped at birth)
in his arms
with only the assurance

that the biggest dicks
get the biggest dicks
if you're a pot smoker and you don't own a ukulele you're fuckin up...but then once you get a ukulele you might end up moving to a guitar because its a gateway instrument you know
~ EV 6/25/03
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • This was just one of those that made me go--WOW! Very cool! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • a little nudge for some more input before this one gets lost in the shuffle
    if you're a pot smoker and you don't own a ukulele you're fuckin up...but then once you get a ukulele you might end up moving to a guitar because its a gateway instrument you know
    ~ EV 6/25/03
  • as her stand-in father
    takes the hand of fates daughter
    handing her over
    to be bathed
    in sentiment

    washed in white satin, her smile proves infectious
    to rows of pews
    filled with the masses,
    glowing from cascading sunlight
    dripping through christ
    frozen in stained glass
    shattered, like faith
    by a stone


    You're very original, and I appreciate and enjoy your ability to encapsulate in these lines this idea: Of the young woman who is feeling dissociated from social ceremonies and gender constructions of identity in daughterhood or wifedom, whose perception of the hollowness of marriage is iconoclastic and profoundly revelatory....

    Maybe I was hoping that the young woman's spirit would not be crushed completely by social ideologies and that in the piece an opposition between the woman's interior, radical potentiality for individuation and desire, and the social forces repressing her through conformity, would develop. Her father and new husband (supposedly benign masculine figures of beneficence...but indifferent or unable to understand her, and thus destructive, malevolent), are all facets of convention to be torn apart...they are concepts, constructs, not experience, and she feels this now!!!....
    This poem could be an epic in several sections! Keep it going!

    :)
  • The kiss of chilling contempt...I like that notion...perhaps it can be explored in further poems? A short story?
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    fins, perhaps she embraces this social conformity in hopes of bringing on changes in her character, thus allowing her to accept herself regardless of a hedonistic history, and in good accord with that which pleases her

    and there is beauty in that

    but, the contempt in this piece?

    i find it troublesome







    nice writing :)
  • Never try to trick me with a kiss
    Pretending that the birds are here to stay;
    The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

    A stone can masquerade where no heart is
    And virgins rise where lustful Venus lay:
    Never try to trick me with a kiss.

    Our noble doctor claims the pain is his,
    While stricken patients let him have his say;
    The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

    Each virile bachelor dreads paralysis,
    The old maid in the gable cries all day:
    Never try to trick me with a kiss.

    The suave eternal serpents promise bliss
    To mortal children longing to be gay;
    The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

    Sooner or later something goes amiss;
    The singing birds pack up and fly away;
    So never try to trick me with a kiss:
    The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.


    Sylvia Plath
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    i like that, fins... very nice
  • i feel very unworthy of having my poem above a sylvia plath...it's like michaelangelo's david propping up a turd
    if you're a pot smoker and you don't own a ukulele you're fuckin up...but then once you get a ukulele you might end up moving to a guitar because its a gateway instrument you know
    ~ EV 6/25/03
  • Ok2GoOk2Go Posts: 102
    princess diana had a magestic ending didnt she? just wasnt the one many of us women needed.

    fantastic thread.
    "and then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong in the world all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right and no one had to get nailed to anything. Sadly, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terrible stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever."

    Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
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