a story i entered in a contest
xmascleanlove
Posts: 55
short story (under 3000 wds)...this is what i came up with...opinions opinions pwetty pwease.
It was a total whiteout. The blizzard hadn’t slowed since the previous night and her eyes followed the millions of slam dancing snowflakes outside the window.
She’d woken up blanket less, her skin covered in goose bumps. Mr. Right probably stole it in a drunken haze. He stole everything from her when he was drunk, even things she wanted to give him, why would a lousy blanket be any different.
Her head didn’t begin throbbing till his snores registered in her ears. She looked at him and chuckled out of pity. For him, snoring,, oblivious, probably still drunk, WARM! For herself, shivering, hung over, in love.
In love?
She wasn’t sure if that was it. This guy didn’t have one hand worth of good qualities but she could use up all her fingers and toes counting his faults. Maybe she was just too picky.
Nature called and put her deep thinking on hold. Standing up almost made her fall over. The sex had been rough last night and this pain was the only memory she had of it. She prayed it wasn’t a bladder infection.
She put her dark hair up in a ball of curls and got her bearings. Not a room she was familiar with. Pictures by Van Gogh and posters of Nirvana hung on the walls. A million faces she’d never seen before smiled at her from photos stuck to the mirror. She couldn’t find her clothes , probably wrinkled and wedged in the bed, so she decided to borrow some.
Limping over to the dresser, she rifled through the drawers and found a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and quickly threw them on.
Opening the door to the hallway was like stepping into a war zone. The carpet was soaked through with beer, at least she hoped it was beer. Plastic cups , crushed, half full, or riddled with cigarette burns littered the floor. A pyramid of bottle caps was stacked outside one door, while a large shirtless boy lay snoring in front of another. Her breath was a white mist.
Her bladder began to argue with her.
The only other door was partially open. She could feel a biting draft coming from it. Someone probably had too much to drink and opened the window to get rid of some of it. Making the entire upstairs of the house arctic cold.
Her bladder was winning the argument.
She ran on her toes across soggy cigarette ash and quickly closed the bathroom door. She had her boxers pulled down and had begun sitting before she heard the boys voice from the open window.
“You might want to wait till I get out of here before you do that.”
She gave a mouse like squeal and jumped off the toilet. The exertion of energy made her head throb even more.
“Sorry to startle you. I didn’t really have much choice though,” the boy said.
All she could see of him was an arm holding a cigarette and a flannel blanket.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I didn’t know anyone was…” She was going to say, “in here,” but she realized the boy wasn’t actually in the bathroom. He was out on the fire escape. Smoking a cigarette in the worst blizzard Pennsylvania had seen in 20 years.
He laughed a warm laugh that melted away the awkwardness of the moment as he peered in through the window. A cute boy, with bright green eyes and an unshaven rugged face. He was wearing a goofy green and white winter hat that was too big for him.
“I’ll never understand why girls apologize so much. I can tell your in a hurry so I’ll just,” he closed the window and pointed to the blinds.
“Just don’t leave without opening it again or I’ll be a Marlboro popsicle out here.”
She smiled and mouthed the ok as she closed the blinds.
After she’d washed her hands and popped two Advil she’d found in the medicine cabinet, she peeked out the blinds at the boy. He was wrapped tightly in his flannel blanket, just watching the snow fall.
She weighed her options. Smoke a cigarette with the strange boy out on the fire escape or worsen her headache listening to her boyfriend proclaim how much he’d drank the night before with inhuman snores. What the hell, she’d done weirder things in her life.
She opened the window and poked her head out.
“Mind if I come out here for a smoke with you?”
The boy looked startled. He gave her a quizzical look and sighed. “Sure.”
She started to remember the boy from the night before. This was his house. Her boyfriend was buddies with one of his roommates. She’d beaten this boy in a game of beer pong the night before for sleeping rights to his room. This made her think about herself the night before, a staggering, slurring sex kitten, using her boyfriends shoulder to hold herself up while trying to pay him back for leaving a swarm of hickies on her neck the night before. She was suddenly embarrassed once again.
“Say those sure are nice boxers you’ve got on sugar,” he said sarcastically.
If her face wasn’t already red from the chill, her blush made it now. “Sorry. I…uhh… I couldn’t find my clothes,” she said, putting her shaking head in her hand.
That warm laugh again. He offered her a cigarette. “Wild night last night eh?”
“Can we share that blanket?” She took the cigarette and hoped she’d changed the subject.
“I don’t know. Do you have girl cooties?”
His question took her by surprise. She wasn’t sure if she should be offended by it or laugh.
“None that bite, or at least not yet,” she said.
“Works for me,” he replied tossing her part of the blanket.
It was soft, and warm from his skin. She wrapped her self tightly in it as the boy lit her cigarette. Once she was comfortable she looked out at the sunrise above the blizzard. A snowplow passed below trying to put a dent in the white and brown ice slushy that was supposedly a street. And those million snowflakes, the kept right on dancing.
“So what’s your name?”
“I told you that last night cigarette queen.”
“I’m sorry. I forget it. But I do remember beating you in beer pong for sleeping rights to your room.
“Pffffffft chya! I let you win princess.”
“Oh whatever. I beat your ass!”
He took a drag off his cigarette and flashed her a stare that reminded her of old western movies where two men where in a quick draw gun showdown. “You have your version. I have mine.”
She laughed and smiled at him.
They spent the next 20 minutes chain-smoking most of his cigarettes and talking about the party. Her headache began to fade and she noticed that even though she was outside during a blizzard she didn’t feel cold at all. He taught her the secret to catching snowflakes with your tongue and showed her how letting them land on your bare toes was better than coffee at waking you up.
This boy was funny. He was nice, cute, but most of all happy. Not like her boyfriend. He of the endless chips on her shoulder. She decided to get a little more personal with him. After all, she was wearing his underwear.
“So do you have a girlfriend?”
He thought on this for a few seconds and repeated the question. “Do I have a girlfriend? Yeah I have a girlfriend. She handed you your cigarette.”
It took her a second after he smiled to get the joke. They both laughed till the cigarette smoke made them cough and made them surrender to simply giggling. It was then that she realized this was the happiest she’d been in a long time. Shooting the shit with some random boy on some random fire escape in a blizzard. She found it funny and sad how it was little things like this that she missed most since starting to date her man.
She was certain it was better than her typical night of hard liquor shots followed by a forgettable movie which was nothing more than a soundtrack while she was groped, fondled and made to be just a little less innocent.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just…starting to get cold.”
He put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder real fast. He smelled like the fancy hand soap in the bathroom.
“You’re a terrible liar. The fact that you wear your emotions on your face like you do doesn’t help you at all.”
“Do you have any more cigarettes,” she asked sighing. She could feel the tears starting to stab at her eyes.
“You know, every time you smoke one of these it takes off three minutes of your life. I read that somewhere.”
“We’re all slowly dying anyways. Who care?”
He took off his hat and pulled it down over her eyes and tickled her ribs.
“Damn girl you’re nothing but rainbows and sunshine this morning aren’t you.”
She laughed and squirmed out of his grip, staring at his pretty eyes from underneath his hat.
He smiled and chuckled. “That’s a uh, pretty sexy look for you.”
Her cigarette was almost out.
“We should do this more often,” she said putting her cigarette out and following it down to the snowdrift that was once a sidewalk.
“Good idea. Next time we sleep at the same party I’ll come find you, hopefully clothed, and we’ll get lung cancer together. Just saying it out loud is so romantic.”
He made her laugh for the 7th time since she’d started counting. She thought about the letter, sitting back in her dorm room. The letter she’d written through tears after one of many angry phone calls from her angry boyfriend. She’d stared at for two hours after writing what she thought was her last “I love you” ever. Then crinkled it up and threw it in the trash can after decided he’d spend 2 minutes reading it then give up because of all the big words.
Big words always made him give up.
The cute boy started to get up.
“Where are you going?” She hoped her voice didn’t sound too desperate, then realized she’d grabbed him and was keeping him from standing up.
“Well I was planning on crawling back inside. It’s getting cold out here. I heard we’re supposed to have a pretty bad blizzard.”
Snowflakes caught in his eyelashes.
“Can’t we just cuddle up and watch the snow for a little while?”
He scratched his head. Not sure of her intentions. “Sure, I guess.”
“Can I put my head on your shoulder?”
She looked up at his eyes and put on her best puppy dog face.
“Do you have girl cooties?”
“None that bite.”
He smiled an invitation and she accepted putting her head on his shoulder as they both stared out into the blizzard. Eyes following a million slam dancing snowflakes on their trip down to the ground.
~END
It was a total whiteout. The blizzard hadn’t slowed since the previous night and her eyes followed the millions of slam dancing snowflakes outside the window.
She’d woken up blanket less, her skin covered in goose bumps. Mr. Right probably stole it in a drunken haze. He stole everything from her when he was drunk, even things she wanted to give him, why would a lousy blanket be any different.
Her head didn’t begin throbbing till his snores registered in her ears. She looked at him and chuckled out of pity. For him, snoring,, oblivious, probably still drunk, WARM! For herself, shivering, hung over, in love.
In love?
She wasn’t sure if that was it. This guy didn’t have one hand worth of good qualities but she could use up all her fingers and toes counting his faults. Maybe she was just too picky.
Nature called and put her deep thinking on hold. Standing up almost made her fall over. The sex had been rough last night and this pain was the only memory she had of it. She prayed it wasn’t a bladder infection.
She put her dark hair up in a ball of curls and got her bearings. Not a room she was familiar with. Pictures by Van Gogh and posters of Nirvana hung on the walls. A million faces she’d never seen before smiled at her from photos stuck to the mirror. She couldn’t find her clothes , probably wrinkled and wedged in the bed, so she decided to borrow some.
Limping over to the dresser, she rifled through the drawers and found a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and quickly threw them on.
Opening the door to the hallway was like stepping into a war zone. The carpet was soaked through with beer, at least she hoped it was beer. Plastic cups , crushed, half full, or riddled with cigarette burns littered the floor. A pyramid of bottle caps was stacked outside one door, while a large shirtless boy lay snoring in front of another. Her breath was a white mist.
Her bladder began to argue with her.
The only other door was partially open. She could feel a biting draft coming from it. Someone probably had too much to drink and opened the window to get rid of some of it. Making the entire upstairs of the house arctic cold.
Her bladder was winning the argument.
She ran on her toes across soggy cigarette ash and quickly closed the bathroom door. She had her boxers pulled down and had begun sitting before she heard the boys voice from the open window.
“You might want to wait till I get out of here before you do that.”
She gave a mouse like squeal and jumped off the toilet. The exertion of energy made her head throb even more.
“Sorry to startle you. I didn’t really have much choice though,” the boy said.
All she could see of him was an arm holding a cigarette and a flannel blanket.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I didn’t know anyone was…” She was going to say, “in here,” but she realized the boy wasn’t actually in the bathroom. He was out on the fire escape. Smoking a cigarette in the worst blizzard Pennsylvania had seen in 20 years.
He laughed a warm laugh that melted away the awkwardness of the moment as he peered in through the window. A cute boy, with bright green eyes and an unshaven rugged face. He was wearing a goofy green and white winter hat that was too big for him.
“I’ll never understand why girls apologize so much. I can tell your in a hurry so I’ll just,” he closed the window and pointed to the blinds.
“Just don’t leave without opening it again or I’ll be a Marlboro popsicle out here.”
She smiled and mouthed the ok as she closed the blinds.
After she’d washed her hands and popped two Advil she’d found in the medicine cabinet, she peeked out the blinds at the boy. He was wrapped tightly in his flannel blanket, just watching the snow fall.
She weighed her options. Smoke a cigarette with the strange boy out on the fire escape or worsen her headache listening to her boyfriend proclaim how much he’d drank the night before with inhuman snores. What the hell, she’d done weirder things in her life.
She opened the window and poked her head out.
“Mind if I come out here for a smoke with you?”
The boy looked startled. He gave her a quizzical look and sighed. “Sure.”
She started to remember the boy from the night before. This was his house. Her boyfriend was buddies with one of his roommates. She’d beaten this boy in a game of beer pong the night before for sleeping rights to his room. This made her think about herself the night before, a staggering, slurring sex kitten, using her boyfriends shoulder to hold herself up while trying to pay him back for leaving a swarm of hickies on her neck the night before. She was suddenly embarrassed once again.
“Say those sure are nice boxers you’ve got on sugar,” he said sarcastically.
If her face wasn’t already red from the chill, her blush made it now. “Sorry. I…uhh… I couldn’t find my clothes,” she said, putting her shaking head in her hand.
That warm laugh again. He offered her a cigarette. “Wild night last night eh?”
“Can we share that blanket?” She took the cigarette and hoped she’d changed the subject.
“I don’t know. Do you have girl cooties?”
His question took her by surprise. She wasn’t sure if she should be offended by it or laugh.
“None that bite, or at least not yet,” she said.
“Works for me,” he replied tossing her part of the blanket.
It was soft, and warm from his skin. She wrapped her self tightly in it as the boy lit her cigarette. Once she was comfortable she looked out at the sunrise above the blizzard. A snowplow passed below trying to put a dent in the white and brown ice slushy that was supposedly a street. And those million snowflakes, the kept right on dancing.
“So what’s your name?”
“I told you that last night cigarette queen.”
“I’m sorry. I forget it. But I do remember beating you in beer pong for sleeping rights to your room.
“Pffffffft chya! I let you win princess.”
“Oh whatever. I beat your ass!”
He took a drag off his cigarette and flashed her a stare that reminded her of old western movies where two men where in a quick draw gun showdown. “You have your version. I have mine.”
She laughed and smiled at him.
They spent the next 20 minutes chain-smoking most of his cigarettes and talking about the party. Her headache began to fade and she noticed that even though she was outside during a blizzard she didn’t feel cold at all. He taught her the secret to catching snowflakes with your tongue and showed her how letting them land on your bare toes was better than coffee at waking you up.
This boy was funny. He was nice, cute, but most of all happy. Not like her boyfriend. He of the endless chips on her shoulder. She decided to get a little more personal with him. After all, she was wearing his underwear.
“So do you have a girlfriend?”
He thought on this for a few seconds and repeated the question. “Do I have a girlfriend? Yeah I have a girlfriend. She handed you your cigarette.”
It took her a second after he smiled to get the joke. They both laughed till the cigarette smoke made them cough and made them surrender to simply giggling. It was then that she realized this was the happiest she’d been in a long time. Shooting the shit with some random boy on some random fire escape in a blizzard. She found it funny and sad how it was little things like this that she missed most since starting to date her man.
She was certain it was better than her typical night of hard liquor shots followed by a forgettable movie which was nothing more than a soundtrack while she was groped, fondled and made to be just a little less innocent.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just…starting to get cold.”
He put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder real fast. He smelled like the fancy hand soap in the bathroom.
“You’re a terrible liar. The fact that you wear your emotions on your face like you do doesn’t help you at all.”
“Do you have any more cigarettes,” she asked sighing. She could feel the tears starting to stab at her eyes.
“You know, every time you smoke one of these it takes off three minutes of your life. I read that somewhere.”
“We’re all slowly dying anyways. Who care?”
He took off his hat and pulled it down over her eyes and tickled her ribs.
“Damn girl you’re nothing but rainbows and sunshine this morning aren’t you.”
She laughed and squirmed out of his grip, staring at his pretty eyes from underneath his hat.
He smiled and chuckled. “That’s a uh, pretty sexy look for you.”
Her cigarette was almost out.
“We should do this more often,” she said putting her cigarette out and following it down to the snowdrift that was once a sidewalk.
“Good idea. Next time we sleep at the same party I’ll come find you, hopefully clothed, and we’ll get lung cancer together. Just saying it out loud is so romantic.”
He made her laugh for the 7th time since she’d started counting. She thought about the letter, sitting back in her dorm room. The letter she’d written through tears after one of many angry phone calls from her angry boyfriend. She’d stared at for two hours after writing what she thought was her last “I love you” ever. Then crinkled it up and threw it in the trash can after decided he’d spend 2 minutes reading it then give up because of all the big words.
Big words always made him give up.
The cute boy started to get up.
“Where are you going?” She hoped her voice didn’t sound too desperate, then realized she’d grabbed him and was keeping him from standing up.
“Well I was planning on crawling back inside. It’s getting cold out here. I heard we’re supposed to have a pretty bad blizzard.”
Snowflakes caught in his eyelashes.
“Can’t we just cuddle up and watch the snow for a little while?”
He scratched his head. Not sure of her intentions. “Sure, I guess.”
“Can I put my head on your shoulder?”
She looked up at his eyes and put on her best puppy dog face.
“Do you have girl cooties?”
“None that bite.”
He smiled an invitation and she accepted putting her head on his shoulder as they both stared out into the blizzard. Eyes following a million slam dancing snowflakes on their trip down to the ground.
~END
if you're a pot smoker and you don't own a ukulele you're fuckin up...but then once you get a ukulele you might end up moving to a guitar because its a gateway instrument you know
~ EV 6/25/03
~ EV 6/25/03
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Comments
You're one of the talented ones, xmascleanlove, if ya don't mind my saying so.
Amen to that. This is one well crafted story xmas!
I am looking forward to reading more.