Last Ride

savannah66

Ok, this scares me to death, but I thought I'd share one of my poems.



Last Ride


I think of riding in the car that evening,
brown eyes reflecting the onyx plate road.
Fractal slices of the moon split on the
porcelain ribbon, alabaster ice cream
sliding off scalloped edges onto hard,
frozen ground.
One lurch, two, wheezing thoughts come on
this empty ride to hospital;
The shuddering gears slip,
the death rattle exhaust belches the moon
over the horizon. I can't feel my arms.
You’re driving, it’s alright;
I have the night and the stars and the feel
of the car humming against my thighs.
As long as your liquid eyes hold the road
I'll make it, make it back
one piece at a time.

nocode198

Yeah i like it, nice.

coleen

really great stuff and you were scared. its beautiful.

i especially enjoyed the "fractal slices of the moon" bit and the last 6 lines. very moving.

thank you for trusting us enough to share it, hopefully we'll see more from you in the future.

savannah66

nocode198 and coleen, thank you.

I have been particularly shy about sharing my work for years, and I am trying to correct that. I used to belong to a writers group years ago, but then I moved...and sort of retreated into my own writing. I like this forum a lot, and enjoy reading what others have posted...it certainly has inspired me.

Shyner

Thank y ou