Dissolve

mulac

here are the lyrics to my first ever solo song, a mellow little number that somehow got played on the radio in Luxembourg

i'm gonna record vocals for it in the next few days and hopefully get it up on the net

the lyrics aren't very strong and i really could do with some feedback to hopefully write a new version so all responses, whether positve or negative, are more than welcome


Dissolve

I have a feeling
i walked down the wrong road
where faces have no features
and minds never wander

The need comes in waves
surrounded by a great wall
a haze of all the lies
i've told and believed

Tomorrow will bring
another arid yesterday
the clouds will drain us
then wash us both away

In time, ideals fade
and the realisation pertains
dissolve

Buru

I liked your poem/song
don't think it's weak at all

Being Enlightened

Originally posted by mulac

Dissolve

I have a feeling
i walked down the wrong road
where faces have no features - where the faces are faceless
and minds never wander

The need comes in waves
surrounded by a great wall
a haze of all the lies - the haze of all the lies
i've told and believed - I've lived and been told

Tomorrow will bring
another arid yesterday
the clouds will drain us
then wash us both away

In time, ideals fade
and the realisation pertains
dissolve

Now, I'm not one to tweak other's works but since you asked I just put a few little changes in wording. I totally enjoyed it as it was and really, my changes are very slight, so, all in all, good job, mulac! And good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mulac

cheers guys


BE, i like the changes you suggested, especially the ones in 2nd verse


i'll get the link up as soon as the song is done if anyone wants to hear