Built like a rainstorm

Righteous Jammer
Righteous Jammer Posts: 509
edited October 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
She looks at me,
with a smile.
It takes awhile,
to sink in.

Her hands are cold.
Eyes built like a rainstorm.
Ready to break at loose,
at any moment.

Her hair was made to blow that night.
Long in length,
shining in the moonlight.

Her voice is clear.
Words touch me,
like the waves.
She tells me,
I have to go away.

I'm built like a rainstorm,
I cannot stay.......
It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
but memories...they eat me
I've seen it all before,...
bring it on cause I'm no victim.
-Ghost
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • twin2
    twin2 Posts: 894
    Your descriptions were really good. It is well written and hauntingly sad.
  • eMMI
    eMMI Posts: 6,262
    good one! :)
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Righteous Jammer
    Righteous Jammer Posts: 509
    This ones pretty personal to me....It came to me in a dream.....
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • depopulationINC
    depopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    I enjoyed....great read
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • Ali
    Ali Posts: 2,621
    Touching poet...

    Very eager to see your next....
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • pacifier
    pacifier Posts: 1,009
    a poet wrote:
    This ones pretty personal to me....It came to me in a dream.....

    yes, it seems dream like and haunting.
  • coachchris
    coachchris Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada Posts: 749
    One of my favourites I've read on here...thanks so much.
    Adolescence in essence is all about trust.
    Leaving is for the answering machine.
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    It does have that dream-like quality and I have a great mental image of "her" after reading, thanks a poet! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Righteous Jammer
    Righteous Jammer Posts: 509
    Thanks everyone for your kind words...It keeps my mind flowing.....
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • burtschips
    burtschips Posts: 734
    ..... 'Eyes built like a rainstorm'.....

    That is an epic line, to me it's got an epic quality, kind of explosive.
    Salut baloo

Categories