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leaves falling...

Righteous JammerRighteous Jammer Posts: 509
edited November 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Your leaves fell,
from the highest branch.
I watched it's flowing,
journey down.
Stopping to watch,
the rain.
Seeing you,
gave me pain.
It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
but memories...they eat me
I've seen it all before,...
bring it on cause I'm no victim.
-Ghost
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    Short and sweet poem, sorry you are sad
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    Loving it. great as always.
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • Righteous JammerRighteous Jammer Posts: 509
    It is short.. I think it needs more work...
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    a poet wrote:
    It is short.. I think it needs more work...
    Amazing.One for you....hope youre well ,poet....
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    I think this works quite well as a short piece, maybe changing the last line might give it more of a kick than making it longer
  • deadnothingbetterdeadnothingbetter Posts: 2,202
    a poet wrote:
    Your leaves fell,
    from the highest branch.
    I watched it's flowing,
    journey down.
    Stopping to watch,
    the rain.
    Seeing you,
    gave me pain.
    i've always found so much meaning in trees
    This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
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