even hell floods; but its no relief

yerreyyerrey Posts: 183
the lighthouse motions for attention
the waves seem to catch the call
the high tide of expectation
riding in each night
only to break at dawn
taking a piece of its world w/ it
oh how it reminds me of u

i didn't want the mist to become rain
your goodbye became the watershed
for the great flood
of which i was the only one
noah seemed to forget
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    the cadence in the first four lines is really sweet, yerrey...
  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    I agree, also, the being that noah forgot is a very powerful statement.

    I guess I only have one suggestion and that is to not use the e-abbreviations...

    it weakens the piece in my opinion. you, with, i don't know.

    otherwise a soft and telling sadness.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • yerreyyerrey Posts: 183
    thanks!
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