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The Shape Of A Thorn

PyramidPyramid Posts: 61
edited November 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Read on
For everything you love will soon be gone.
Take a look
At your words on the floor
You'd swallow them whole
But they don't fit anymore.

Read on
Stop your growing into the shape of a thorn.
Take a look
At the bored faces around you
The wind has changed
They forever surround you.

Read on
Your shadow has left you for the light of the moon.
Listen out
For your footsteps tonight
Now try to keep time with their stride.

Read on
For the light you shine will soon move on.
Remeber your lies are
In the back of your mind
So you will know
Where to find them in time.

They will spark
Your future realisations.

Swallow false pride or be gone.
"...follow the strangest tribe..." - pj

www.flickr.com/photos/vainch

http://loveanddestruction.blogspot.com/

http://www.davidveentjer.com
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • coachchriscoachchris Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada Posts: 749
    I like this one. Seems very much "take that!"
    Adolescence in essence is all about trust.
    Leaving is for the answering machine.
  • burtschipsburtschips Posts: 734
    Initially your poem reminded me of the Flaming Lips 'do you realise...' song. Acting as a reminder.
    Salut baloo
  • CheeseMasterCheeseMaster Posts: 10
    Sweet, nice one, I love it
  • trappedinmyradiotrappedinmyradio Posts: 1,189
    i like it . . . i'm a fan of pseudo-form and rhythm . . . you have some good rhythm moments going on here.
    I'll dig a tunnel
    from my window to yours
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    Pyramid wrote:

    Read on
    Your shadow has left you for the light of the moon.
    Listen out
    For your footsteps tonight
    Now try to keep time with their stride.

    Read on
    For the light you shine will soon move on.
    Remeber your lies are
    In the back of your mind
    So you will know
    Where to find them in time.

    quote]

    This is good, I like it. I especially like the lines above. Thanks for posting!
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    burtschips wrote:
    Initially your poem reminded me of the Flaming Lips 'do you realise...' song. Acting as a reminder.

    I'm with you on that, burtschips, it does have that feel to it. It's such a great song! :)

    That being said, I really enjoyed this as well. I liked that words are to be picked up from the floor and that the shadow has left for the light of the moon...but what really did it for me was this stanza:

    "Read on
    For the light you shine will soon move on.
    Remeber your lies are
    In the back of your mind
    So you will know
    Where to find them in time." --Ho-ho-yeah! That's just fantastic! I loved it!

    Thanks for sharing!! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • PyramidPyramid Posts: 61
    thanks for ur comments guys im happy u enjoyed it :)
    "...follow the strangest tribe..." - pj

    www.flickr.com/photos/vainch

    http://loveanddestruction.blogspot.com/

    http://www.davidveentjer.com
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