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Took The Bus

Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
edited November 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
It's a very comfy bus
Lots of cushy seats
I was listening to the radio
Reading a book
We stopped at the stops
People got off, people got on
Well, at one stop
An older lady fell getting off the bus
A young man and a middle aged lady
helped the fallen woman to her feet
Helped her over to a bench
The bus driver checked on the hurt woman
Then came back on the bus
And informed us that we'd be delayed
Some lady yelled out
"When will this bus be getting to my stop?"
All she cared about was herself
And then it spread like wildfire
All these people were complaining and bitching
And it donned on me
Ignorance is very contagious
I got off that bus and made my way to the next one
The fallen one was doing okay, she had a hurt ankle
I got on the next bus and turned my walkman way up
I didn't want to catch anything
Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Woah... people on here have been looking for you, young lady!

    I like the story this tells.
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • sultryeveningsultryevening Posts: 522
    I hope you gave it back afterwards

    the penalty for bus thievery can be quite severe.

    you may be sentanced to fifteen years of running your hands over the bit of dried chewing gum under the bus seat.
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by sultryevening
    I hope you gave it back afterwards

    the penalty for bus thievery can be quite severe.

    you may be sentanced to fifteen years of running your hands over the bit of dried chewing gum under the bus seat.

    As long as I don't have to re-chew it! :D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Radar(Baba)O'RileyRadar(Baba)O'Riley Posts: 947
    It's very bright in here.
    We must all be enlightened............
  • sultryeveningsultryevening Posts: 522
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    As long as I don't have to re-chew it! :D

    that all depends on good behaviour
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • GouletGoulet Posts: 918
    now this is a good poem

    bravo
  • GouletGoulet Posts: 918
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    I got off that bus and made my way to the next one
    The fallen one was doing okay, she had a hurt ankle
    I got on the next bus and turned my walkman way up
    I didn't want to catch anything

    i think i would only change this part to read like this:

    I got off the bus
    and made my way to the next one,
    turned my walkman way up;
    I didn't want to catch anything.

    just because if you're already off teh bus you wouldn't know how the old lady is or what she hurt and i don't think this poem is about knowing what happened to her...it's about not caring about what happened to her so let the reader feel that way at the end...

    just a suggestion
    and suggestions are only good when someone suggests getting a drink or doing some drugs or having some sex...
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by Goulet
    i think i would only change this part to read like this:

    I got off the bus
    and made my way to the next one,
    turned my walkman way up;
    I didn't want to catch anything.

    just because if you're already off teh bus you wouldn't know how the old lady is or what she hurt and i don't think this poem is about knowing what happened to her...it's about not caring about what happened to her so let the reader feel that way at the end...

    just a suggestion
    and suggestions are only good when someone suggests getting a drink or doing some drugs or having some sex...

    Thanks Goulet! I actually thought about removing that line but I left it in because as I got off the bus she fell from, I asked her if she was OK & she said her ankle was hurting...and I then got on the next bus.

    And although drinks, drugs and sex are my favorite suggestions, this is still a good one! I appreciate constructive criticism.
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Radar(Baba)O'RileyRadar(Baba)O'Riley Posts: 947
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    I appreciate constructive criticism.
    And I appreciate constructive sex.
  • sultryeveningsultryevening Posts: 522
    Left a bit! right a bit

    woo
    get up, get down
    GET OFF!!
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by sultryevening
    Left a bit! right a bit

    woo
    get up, get down
    GET OFF!!

    OK

    Left, right
    side to side
    up, down
    all around
    wiggle it (just a little bit--'til it grooves!)
    then GET OFF!

    Turn around and do it again...
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    the triumphant return of being enlightened :)

    we've been missing you.
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by coleen
    the triumphant return of being enlightened :)

    we've been missing you.

    WOW! Thanks! :D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • puremagicpuremagic Posts: 1,907
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    It's a very comfy bus
    Lots of cushy seats
    I was listening to the radio
    Reading a book
    We stopped at the stops
    People got off, people got on
    Well, at one stop
    An older lady fell getting off the bus
    A young man and a middle aged lady
    helped the fallen woman to her feet
    Helped her over to a bench
    The bus driver checked on the hurt woman
    Then came back on the bus
    And informed us that we'd be delayed
    Some lady yelled out
    "When will this bus be getting to my stop?"
    All she cared about was herself
    And then it spread like wildfire
    All these people were complaining and bitching
    And it donned on me
    Ignorance is very contagious
    I got off that bus and made my way to the next one
    The fallen one was doing okay, she had a hurt ankle
    I got on the next bus and turned my walkman way up
    I didn't want to catch anything

    As much as I get the real meaning of this tale. It was still funny.
    SIN EATERS--We take the moral excrement we find in this equation and we bury it down deep inside of us so that the rest of our case can stay pure. That is the job. We are morally indefensible and absolutely necessary.
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