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Ageless angel

dyondyon Posts: 8
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
My first time posting here. This is probably not as good as the most of the poetry up here, but oh well. It's btw not finished yet:

a part of me weeps
a part of me won't
a part of me yearns
a part of me don't

some parts will never heal
when you remind me of the way I used to feel
I climb back into my tree of innocence and try to act indifferent
up here I'm safe from harm
will I ever be?
ageless angel, won't you set me free

I know that this could be more than 'just because'
as my eyes meet yours, there's this cliff I must cross
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."

~ Aldous Huxley
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    Have you music to this? It would make a clear lyric. :)
  • Mr PyjamaMr Pyjama Posts: 253
    Hey, you should post more stuff on here, i liked your poem a lot.
    You manage to use rhyme as well, without it sounding a bit corny, like my poetry does...
    Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later...
  • dyondyon Posts: 8
    I play the bassguitar in a band and I try write lyrics too. We have some music now, but no lyrics attached to it yet. I have a whole book full of lyrics I made up. Because English isn't my primary language and therefore my vocabulary doesn't reach very far, I obviously write corny lyrics pretty easy, so I try not to.

    ps: thnx Mr Pyjama:)
    "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."

    ~ Aldous Huxley
  • Mr PyjamaMr Pyjama Posts: 253
    Originally posted by Drunk on ego
    I play the bassguitar in a band and I try write lyrics too. We have some music now, but no lyrics attached to it yet. I have a whole book full of lyrics I made up. Because English isn't my primary language and therefore my vocabulary doesn't reach very far, I obviously write corny lyrics pretty easy, so I try not to.

    ps: thnx Mr Pyjama:)

    It's okay ;-)

    In my band, we all work on music together, and then when it comes to lyrics i have a full book of them that i've wrote. However my silly band doesent like my stuff because it's 'too poetic', and it would seem too lame to sing them over the heavy tracks. Grr that annoys me.

    Btw, corny lyrics are my speciality lol.
    Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later...
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by Drunk on ego
    My first time posting here. This is probably not as good as the most of the poetry up here, but oh well. It's btw not finished yet:

    a part of me weeps
    a part of me won't
    a part of me yearns
    a part of me don't

    some parts will never heal
    when you remind me of the way I used to feel
    I climb back into my tree of innocence and try to act indifferent
    up here I'm safe from harm
    will I ever be?
    ageless angel, won't you set me free

    I know that this could be more than 'just because'
    as my eyes meet yours, there's this cliff I must cross

    ooooh preeeeetty :) i like this very much!!
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • dyondyon Posts: 8
    Originally posted by of_the_girl
    ooooh preeeeetty :) i like this very much!!

    thank you very much:) I like your 'love cocktail' too
    "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."

    ~ Aldous Huxley
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by Drunk on ego
    thank you very much:) I like your 'love cocktail' too

    awwww shuuucks. grazi! :)
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • A HitchHiker PoetA HitchHiker Poet Posts: 129
    Your poem flows every well..great work
    Don't need a raincoat, I'm already wet..
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