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Lost Treasure

phoebephoebe Posts: 25
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Your words are so precious to me…

Words we use every day take new life at your lips,

Your finger tips.

Like gold they shine, like diamonds they sparkle.

Every time I hear your words, see your words, I sit and marvel.

Words from you used to be like grains of sand on a beach… everywhere.

Words of comfort, words to teach…

Who knew words could ever be so priceless.

Your words… are precious to me.
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
-Mahatma Gandhi
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    If a mouth can sound cliche and make it sound spoken for the first time, with heart, it has sounded well. I love poems that manage to border on mundanity and doggerel but somehow sound jaggedly and spontaneously new. That's an art, you know.
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    i think i like the rhyming scheme most in this poem. only few can rhyme words without it sounding elementary and "roses are red, etc"-ish. And you accomplished it well.

    Also, I just want to say, that this part:
    Words we use every day take new life at your lips,

    Your finger tips.

    ...was my favourite. The words you chose there... it's lilting. It all kinda rolls off the tongue.
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • phoebephoebe Posts: 25
    thanks guys :)


    I like to keep 'em simple sometimes.
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
    -Mahatma Gandhi
  • phoebephoebe Posts: 25
    Originally posted by of_the_girl
    i think i like the rhyming scheme most in this poem. only few can rhyme words without it sounding elementary and "roses are red, etc"-ish. And you accomplished it well.

    Also, I just want to say, that this part:



    ...was my favourite. The words you chose there... it's lilting. It all kinda rolls off the tongue.


    I know what you mean about elementary sounding rhymes! I hate it when people rhyme love and above... it's SO over done.
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
    -Mahatma Gandhi
  • rarghrargh-brownstarrarghrargh-brownstar Posts: 1,272
    Originally posted by phoebe
    thanks guys :)


    I like to keep 'em simple sometimes.
    simple is more

    i have the opposite problem....:S i can get too ornate and flowery

    this was a sweet read :D
    Rarghstarfarian.
  • rarghrargh-brownstarrarghrargh-brownstar Posts: 1,272
    Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
    If a mouth can sound cliche and make it sound spoken for the first time, with heart, it has sounded well. I love poems that manage to border on mundanity and doggerel but somehow sound jaggedly and spontaneously new. That's an art, you know.
    that was a wicked post fins
    u said it best
    Rarghstarfarian.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    Originally posted by phoebe
    I know what you mean about elementary sounding rhymes! I hate it when people rhyme love and above... it's SO over done.

    Fred says, just now, "Oh how I simply love
    fried haddock with my sausages and fries!"
    He doesn't see the falling weight above
    That lands upon his head. The end. He dies.

    :D
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    "rhyming is an art"
    said my dad
    Tom

    the cranky old fart
    wrote sadly bad
    poms

    but everyone said
    they just loved his
    aplomb

    :D
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    My Dad's called Tom. He IS a poem, and a fughin' goodun a well.

    :)
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