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Some poetry

alluneedisluv5alluneedisluv5 Posts: 15
edited September 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Hello everyone...I haven't shared my writing with too many people before but I thought that I'd give it a go tonight.....Any comments would be great:)


Hot water spewing from the faucet
Trickling down the B's
Beaming eyes, breasts, belly of the beast
An abalone was how I thought of my body this morning

A shell broken off to reveal a mushy mess
Minus the muscle and mucus
Add one, not the other
An abalone woman

That's who I want to be!


Lingering hope
Slowly building to a blaze
Are you for real this time?

Suggestive utterances
Of yearning and love
A devoted soul

Perplexing gimmicks
A heart cannot break those chains
Her intellect instructs her
Yet ears close to what her optimism says is rubbish

Perhaps they will open to the truth
When her eyes see him embrace the one that she is not
There now but not forever


Those flat chested girls undressed together at the slumber party
I hid in the bathroom
Two melons bulging from my 9 year chest
And, I bled, oh how I bled

On the playground I stood
Both arms across my chest
Desperately seeking camoulflage
But, they saw, oh how they saw

They looked me up and down
Asked me if I could see my own feet
They told me I could have a baby, like I didn't know
All they wanted was a laugh

My body seemed funnier than "I Love Lucy"
160 pounds by junior high
They shoved my desk, those boys in math
Chuckling at my jiggling flesh

Barely 20 and 30 pounds lighter
They call me beautiful now
As if beauty is all on the outside
If they would have looked beyond my body, maybe they'd have seen that I was beautiful all along
Barely 20 and I feel 60

Inner scars to last a lifetime
Stretch marks and sagging breasts
Will I be beautiful when I shed my clothes?
Or will you laugh? Laugh again?
"There's just one thing that I still believe and it's love..."
Post edited by Unknown User on


  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    all three were really great. i connected most with the last poem and the one in the middle. those two were easier to feel if that makes any sense.

    really great all the same. i'd really be interested in reading more if you were inclined to share.

    thanks for posting these.
  • i love you

    take care
  • why, thank you:)
    "There's just one thing that I still believe and it's love..."
  • those are really good. thanks for sharing. :)
  • right the scale and everybody wants you
    as if the lights would be on anyway
    so many people
    so afraid
    they might see truth in your face
    or rather that you'll see the truth in theirs

    the health food store's flashing promises
    perfection to fourteen
    these marks in my skin...
    help me make them go away...

    "it's called a diet" barbie sneers
    and turns to dip a spoon in yet another powder
    promising perfection

    everyone's goal
    get all the pieces
    into all the holes

    the buzzer pops
    thumpers skip beats
    terrified i've failed...
    yet again...

    and i have

    i am not cubic zirconia

    (thank you for all these allluv5....)
    Nosotros nunca escuchamos la voz adentro
  • "add one... not the other..."

    interesting allluv5

    like a snail... no?

    zee mental muscles flex to impress me (:
    Nosotros nunca escuchamos la voz adentro
  • I really connected to that lifeisworth...thanks
    "There's just one thing that I still believe and it's love..."
  • Really thought-provoking writing! Your style reminds me alot of Henry Rollins. If you haven't checked it out, you should!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

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