Saturday, this is for you
Goulet
Posts: 918
The days around the corner
do get a little better
and a little brighter
and a little more beautiful,
but also a little harder,
and you can walk down the streets and wonder
if you know anyone anymore
or if you're just too in love
or too out-of-love
or too depressed,
and you can't think
or sit up straight
or walk,
you have to run,
or at least walk fast,
with a beating-beating heart
and beating-beating veins
and a beating-beating pulse,
and you think you're sick in the head
and almost dead and gone,
and you take drugs
and smoke cigarettes
and drink and drink and drink,
and you poison your beautiful body,
and your beautiful mind
and voice and heart,
and you're okay with it
and feeling fine,
but only being addicted to something isn't okay
anymore,
and you have to be everything you aren't,
or else,
or you have to be nothing that you are,
or even try to be something you don't want,
but you're loving every second of it
and living every second of it
in slower motions then when you were sad,
and still you can trip
and fall head-over-heels
and land in mud and ruin your clothes
and ruin your life
and ruin your heart,
but that never happens
because you're so young
and so talented and beautiful,
and you're so perfect
and everyone thinks so,
everyone except you,
so you go one living in a gutter
and thinking that's what you can do,
and that's the only thing you want to do,
so you go on living a lie
and wasting away
until you're a slim-sliver of yourself,
no longer sexy or lustful
or loving and caring
or clean and shaved,
you're no longer a dreamer
and you like it a little bit too much.
do get a little better
and a little brighter
and a little more beautiful,
but also a little harder,
and you can walk down the streets and wonder
if you know anyone anymore
or if you're just too in love
or too out-of-love
or too depressed,
and you can't think
or sit up straight
or walk,
you have to run,
or at least walk fast,
with a beating-beating heart
and beating-beating veins
and a beating-beating pulse,
and you think you're sick in the head
and almost dead and gone,
and you take drugs
and smoke cigarettes
and drink and drink and drink,
and you poison your beautiful body,
and your beautiful mind
and voice and heart,
and you're okay with it
and feeling fine,
but only being addicted to something isn't okay
anymore,
and you have to be everything you aren't,
or else,
or you have to be nothing that you are,
or even try to be something you don't want,
but you're loving every second of it
and living every second of it
in slower motions then when you were sad,
and still you can trip
and fall head-over-heels
and land in mud and ruin your clothes
and ruin your life
and ruin your heart,
but that never happens
because you're so young
and so talented and beautiful,
and you're so perfect
and everyone thinks so,
everyone except you,
so you go one living in a gutter
and thinking that's what you can do,
and that's the only thing you want to do,
so you go on living a lie
and wasting away
until you're a slim-sliver of yourself,
no longer sexy or lustful
or loving and caring
or clean and shaved,
you're no longer a dreamer
and you like it a little bit too much.
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
goulet!
agreed........indeed.
seems to have gotten stale too fast and too soon
interesting...
any suggestions,
i love constructive criticism more then praise
Sorry Goulet, I can't help you there. Although I don't mind criticism myself, I just can't dole it out! I prefer to enjoy the written word as the writer wrote it--to me these things should come from the heart & if that's what your heart's saying---who am I to criticize!
all poetry needs some kind of help, even if its really small though...i used to write everything purely free association style and then i had a professor that asked me to try something different and actually "work" on a poem...she showed me that its definitely okay to get everything out there when its fresh in the heart/mind/soul but that all that stuff needs to be tamed, if only with a couple commas or a line break or with a re-write or addition...needless to say i resisted but in the end she was right and it helped my writing so much...plus she was actually a "real" poet and really good at it so it was smart to listen...
that being said i think anyone can criticize anything and be good
I understand what you're saying, I must be at the resistance phase.
I may need some spank therapy to be able to train myself to criticize though!
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
You're going to have to start criticizing my poems so that I learn.
Just about time for me to wrap things up here--have a great night!
SPANK