so far

olderman
olderman Posts: 1,765
edited November 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
No, was knot the window,
Some battlefield of gore,
Sin witch I tore apart her heart,
Six twenty times before

Exhausted, caught down deep below
Seized lover's calls on shore,
Sleaze stitched I wore, upon my soul,
Sticks a plenty evermore

Slowed down a bit to let it go,
Elated, all the more,
Shatters windows shatter heart,
Six twenty times B 4

T Y P J
Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    I don't get it, quite....

    ....but it made me hot.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    I really have no idea what you're talking about but I really like it anyway, just for the rhythm and rhyme scheme. It's very musical :)

    It's also quite unsettling which I like. If you're going to be left puzzled by a poem you don't want it to leave you unmoved too.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"

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