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chewing tobacco

oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
edited December 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
grab a chunk,
splat the spit,
all over the oil fed stove,
on this caboose gliding over steel,
splattered fragrance of spittle,
much like a moment,
more than this time,
was morph than any moment..

a moment's notice
Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    This has got some of the good immediate feel of an imagist poem, and the rhythm has got that chew and splat about it that goes great with the subject matter. As always, I like this one Jesse. [huuuuge thumbs up graphic]right here[/huuuugethumbs up graphic]
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    The language here is just amazing. Truly. I am blown away.
    .........................................................................
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    ironed shaved misted clouds of iron,
    scented from the breaks beneath your hatred,
    my call was for some sort of a gentle rub,
    or so i was wrongly led to believe mattered...

    the moonlight held me in contempt,
    i plowed when i should have vowed,
    this is the craziest life i've ever slept,
    bramblish starked completely owed,

    forget the scores of today's matchless matches,
    those disobedient boys fervent to discuss such a mess
    of life's insignificant matters not to me at this moment,
    it's all a moment in time...

    and yet the ladies want to make matches..

    so it goes,
    as the sweetness is rationed to those who qualify..

    HEY,,, Helene... yea you..

    don't mess with jess...
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • PearlJamDownerPearlJamDowner Posts: 170
    i chew tobacco
    im messed
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