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a trick of the light

shareshare Posts: 551
edited June 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
a comical notion to be standing here
before you
so naked, unexpected
always planned

so i have all these questions
but they remained unasked
part of the mystery - destroyed by an answer

so do we do or do we don't?
as we stand here
a moment - no longer than a glance really
but frozen time opens a door
just a crack
just a foot
is that enough?

the task at hand creeps back
almost a slap
a hand, a gesture
where was i?
were you there?
we're all sentient snowflakes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm a number that doesn't count
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the nothing ventured - the nothing feigned
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • trappedinmyradiotrappedinmyradio Posts: 1,189
    share wrote:
    a comical notion to be standing here
    before you
    so naked, unexpected
    always planned

    so i have all these questions
    but they remained unasked
    part of the mystery - destroyed by an answer

    so do we do or do we don't?
    as we stand here
    a moment - no longer than a glance really
    but frozen time opens a door
    just a crack
    just a foot
    is that enough?

    the task at hand creeps back
    almost a slap
    a hand, a gesture
    where was i?
    were you there?

    for some reason - i can get inside this one - you can read this in so many variations - i like this...it's never enough
    I'll dig a tunnel
    from my window to yours
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    After reading this I realize....I need to fall in love.
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    trappedinmyradio wrote:
    for some reason - i can get inside this one - you can read this in so many variations - i like this...it's never enough

    couldn't have said it better~
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • shareshare Posts: 551
    The Indifferent One wrote:
    Every poet's best tool is love! I like this poem, but it reminds me of my style, and there is something abuot my style that i don't like too much, and iyt was holding me back through reading it. So perhaps i didn't get the true energy i should have.

    doomed by our style

    actually i have no style

    things just creep up on me and i write them out

    actually i didn't even write this down - i just typed it as it came to me

    it's all false memory - i wish there was more thought involved though

    i can't even call it accidental art

    more like a fart

    :)
    we're all sentient snowflakes
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I'm a number that doesn't count
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    the nothing ventured - the nothing feigned
  • asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
    a hand, a gesture
    where was i?
    were you there?

    last part is quite good ...
  • LeaderOfMenLeaderOfMen Posts: 110
    To me it gives me a vivid picture, of a girl/women who needs to get drunk to have sex/fall in love.

    no disrespect.

    But I like it very much
    I will make the world a better place...with my own, two hands.
  • shareshare Posts: 551
    LeaderOfMen wrote:
    To me it gives me a vivid picture, of a girl/women who needs to get drunk to have sex/fall in love.

    no disrespect.

    But I like it very much

    wow

    i guess you could read it like that

    naked was metaphoric

    my intent was the illusion of love, caught in a single moment and then gone

    but hey - drunken debauchery

    glad you liked it

    :)
    we're all sentient snowflakes
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I'm a number that doesn't count
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    the nothing ventured - the nothing feigned
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    reads very much like trying to get it on with kids in the house :)

    nice write, share
  • Your_endorphin_rushYour_endorphin_rush Posts: 69
    PastaNazi wrote:
    reads very much like trying to get it on with kids in the house :)

    nice write, share

    this is about the closest to the truth that I have seen so far.

    a shower is a great place to get dirty.
    :)
    This is the best I could come up with.
  • Your_endorphin_rushYour_endorphin_rush Posts: 69
    LeaderOfMen wrote:
    To me it gives me a vivid picture, of a girl/women who needs to get drunk to have sex/fall in love.

    no disrespect.

    But I like it very much

    this may be a close second to Pastanazi's interpretation.
    This is the best I could come up with.
  • shareshare Posts: 551
    reduced to hoohoos and dingdongs again

    i need a spiritual condom
    we're all sentient snowflakes
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I'm a number that doesn't count
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    the nothing ventured - the nothing feigned
  • KovoKovo Posts: 255
    Ali wrote:
    After reading this I realize....I need to fall in love.


    True that.
    I shouldn't have to fight a battle I'll never win, just to lose those I've never had.
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    share wrote:
    reduced to hoohoos and dingdongs again

    i need a spiritual condom


    oh shit! (this made me laugh)

    I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to imply. I, when I read... I try to make the poem "mine". I place your words on my emotional landscape. It's selfish, I know, and I'm sorry. So sorry.

    Um.

    There is the easy way
    and then there is the right way...

    It might appear that difficult and exposed negotiations of the heart are taking place. Or perhaps this writing is just a momentary take... a commentary, if you will, on some observation. Like trying to make friends with someone new. I shant wish to make assumptions, and so I wont. I liked it's application to my own life, though. A nice read, Share. :)

    Rachel

    aka lifeisworth
  • shareshare Posts: 551
    no worries rachel

    the day i actually get serious is the day i go crazy

    once it's been read it's open to whatever anybody wants to take from it

    so thanks for reading!

    :)
    we're all sentient snowflakes
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I'm a number that doesn't count
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    the nothing ventured - the nothing feigned
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