My Enemy is Me
The Pen Is Mightier
Posts: 56
I made this poem for my class, I am presenting it tomorrow. I touched it up alot since the last time I posted, so I will post the new one. I would appreciate any and all criticism/comments. I wish the criticism be helpful though so I can make the changes for tomorrow morning. I appreciate your help. Also for some background info, this is for an environmental creative project and by no means am I a poet. This is one of the first poems I ever wrote. here goes.
My Enemy Is Me
As the sun beats down through his window
A man sits alone, staring blankly at his TV.
Thoughts escape his head and he drifts away from the present.
He knows nothing, and is content.
The walls are stained yellow, and the stench of smoke fills the room.
The air conditioner lets off a low, dull buzz.
In one ear, and out the other
American Airlines speaks to him, "Something’s special in the air"
Something special indeed.
Cigarette cartons, Quarter Pounder wrappers, and pizza boxes
camouflage his floor, forming mountains of filth.
The television starts to flicker and turns off.
The lights start to flicker and turn off.
The man dozes and turns off.
An ethereal being seeps into the room
She enters the mind of the man, and begins to speak:
“I’m here to tell you something that you need to understand.
The plague which will kill your people is not disease, but man.
You, yourself work as a logger.
You, yourself help pollute my water.
You, yourself drive an SUV to make your life complete.
You, yourself help my ozone to deplete.
The gases your people incessantly emit into my air
Will lead to my death, destruction, and despair.
Your people need vision to see beyond personal wealth
You’re poisoning me and my own health.
You help me, and I will help you too
But if you destroy me, I will unforgivingly decimate you.”
The man emerges from his sleep, seemingly empowered, with new found knowledge.
Looking around he sees nothing, he starts to speak to an empty room:
“Miss, Thanks for bringing these issues to my mind,
Though m’fraid that I won’t be able to save mankind.
I’m but one man, d’ya understand?
I have no impact on this land.
I love to drive, and my SUV
It helps me get around so easily.
Logging is tough, but the pay is fair
He who helps this land gets nowhere.
I smoke and eat fast food, sure it’s self pollution
But bein’ dumb and happy is my perfect solution.
My indifference to this situation is plain to see
I’ve come to terms with the fact that my enemy is me.”
My Enemy Is Me
As the sun beats down through his window
A man sits alone, staring blankly at his TV.
Thoughts escape his head and he drifts away from the present.
He knows nothing, and is content.
The walls are stained yellow, and the stench of smoke fills the room.
The air conditioner lets off a low, dull buzz.
In one ear, and out the other
American Airlines speaks to him, "Something’s special in the air"
Something special indeed.
Cigarette cartons, Quarter Pounder wrappers, and pizza boxes
camouflage his floor, forming mountains of filth.
The television starts to flicker and turns off.
The lights start to flicker and turn off.
The man dozes and turns off.
An ethereal being seeps into the room
She enters the mind of the man, and begins to speak:
“I’m here to tell you something that you need to understand.
The plague which will kill your people is not disease, but man.
You, yourself work as a logger.
You, yourself help pollute my water.
You, yourself drive an SUV to make your life complete.
You, yourself help my ozone to deplete.
The gases your people incessantly emit into my air
Will lead to my death, destruction, and despair.
Your people need vision to see beyond personal wealth
You’re poisoning me and my own health.
You help me, and I will help you too
But if you destroy me, I will unforgivingly decimate you.”
The man emerges from his sleep, seemingly empowered, with new found knowledge.
Looking around he sees nothing, he starts to speak to an empty room:
“Miss, Thanks for bringing these issues to my mind,
Though m’fraid that I won’t be able to save mankind.
I’m but one man, d’ya understand?
I have no impact on this land.
I love to drive, and my SUV
It helps me get around so easily.
Logging is tough, but the pay is fair
He who helps this land gets nowhere.
I smoke and eat fast food, sure it’s self pollution
But bein’ dumb and happy is my perfect solution.
My indifference to this situation is plain to see
I’ve come to terms with the fact that my enemy is me.”
Drunk by noon but that's ok
I'll be president someday
I have been to, and have the following posters framed:
Hartford 96,
Boston 98, 2000, 2003, 2004, 2006
I'll be president someday
I have been to, and have the following posters framed:
Hartford 96,
Boston 98, 2000, 2003, 2004, 2006
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
I like the changes! I like the phrase "American Airlines speaks to him"! You've captured the spoonfeeding influence of advertising on the man there, simply. After all, a booming electronic audio signal through a TV advertising a product needn't speak to you at all. And the irony that follows: "Something special indeed": it's at just the right level of narratorial comment.
I like it. Good luck in your class.