I saw you there

justam
justam Posts: 21,415
edited September 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
but I think my voice is gone
you're going to have make some noise yourself
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • A HitchHiker Poet
    A HitchHiker Poet Posts: 129
    I love short poems
    Don't need a raincoat, I'm already wet..
  • the unseen
    the unseen Posts: 372
    i see you there
    but i'm too shy to speak
    i can only hope you hear
    the laughter in my smile








    peace
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    he sees the glory that is you...
    he knows that he must hold back
    for it is obscene for one such as he to be seen with a splendorous beauty..

    and so he cries a little bit,
    and he dies a little bit
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • the unseen
    the unseen Posts: 372
    if only he'd stop
    looking at himself
    thru the reflection
    of a mud puddle
    then take a step toward her
    followed by another,then another
    he'd realize the only part of him dying
    is his insecurities
    leaving him to discover
    he is indeed a beautiful soul
    worthy of her love...
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I like to read the words that everyone added.

    Thanks!
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  • carpenter_newton
    carpenter_newton Posts: 71
    Originally posted by justam
    but I think my voice is gone
    you're going to have make some noise yourself

    excellent. :)


    you've read my mind.
    i suggest you step out on your porch
    run away my son...see it all...oh see the world
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Originally posted by carpenter_newton
    excellent. :)


    you've read my mind.

    :D Nice to see you!
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  • carpenter_newton
    carpenter_newton Posts: 71
    Originally posted by justam
    :D Nice to see you!

    you too. :)
    i suggest you step out on your porch
    run away my son...see it all...oh see the world
  • Chad Sexington
    Chad Sexington Posts: 30
    your silence says it all
    i just don't know what that is.
    any noise would be nice
    but your true voice would be better.
    "Did I say corpse hatch? I meant innocence tube" - Mr. Burns
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I really like the way everyone sees this from a different angle and they're all related to the whole story. :)
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  • ExTReMe FrEAk
    ExTReMe FrEAk Posts: 118
    Originally posted by justam
    I saw you there
    but I think my voice is gone
    you're going to have make some noise yourself
    Not before I pick up my jaw and tongue, then throw them over my shoulder.
    I will need to fix my penis before we speak.

    (I'm really sorry, I couldn't hold that back any longer. No disrespect, only humor.)
    Chasing a trail of smoke and reason.
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Originally posted by ExTReMe FrEAk
    Not before I pick up my jaw and tongue, then throw them over my shoulder.
    I will need to fix my penis before we speak.

    (I'm really sorry, I couldn't hold that back any longer. No disrespect, only humor.)

    This is way off. The two people aren't even speaking from a distance. How did you get a jaw, a tongue, and a penis into this? :p
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  • ExTReMe FrEAk
    ExTReMe FrEAk Posts: 118
    Because he is only talked to her in his mind.
    You clearly stated that he had lost his voice, therefore they are not speaking. He is trieing to use his mind as a medium of comunication with her :) . Her stunning beauty dropped his jaw and tongue, and give him a quarter staff. Therefore, before he attempts communicating with her in a verbal sense, he needs to pick up his jaw and tongue, and fix his penis. Savey?
    Chasing a trail of smoke and reason.
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Oooooohhhhhh.

    I'm a little clueless sometimes. ;)
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