Not a poem at all!

justam
justam Posts: 21,415
edited December 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Thoughts on being young and old

The woman who taught me my trade as I was growing up was a dynamo. A petite blonde woman in an Eva Gabor wig who played her instrument like an angel or a devil depending on what the piece required. I adored her. She was infamous in San Francisco for her charm and her ability and her rather dramatic tantrums on occasion.

She was the first person I knew that was an old person (somewhere vaguely above 65 for the ten years I was with her) who was also a child. She’d been a child prodigy in Budapest and tramped Europe playing concertos until Hitler made artists run for cover in the US. This bit of verbage is really about non-age, or, childlike adults and serious children. It happens when you are expected to express a man’s emotions convincingly as a young girl.

I was the only child in her flock. And it didn’t matter to her that I was young. She expected me to play like a demon too if the piece needed it. (Even while expecting me to be demure and innocent at all other times.) While she could be charming and speak with a kind whisper when calm, she could also fire angry words out like a machine gun when provoked.

“You can’t be a noodle brain and play Beethoven! Grow a spine or don’t come back!!”
“Are you MAD?!! You can’t play a Liszt rhapsody while you’re asleep!! The man was ON FIRE!!”
“Only a moron would play a phrase in such a thoughtless way.”
“Every line of music has to communicate something. Don’t even bother playing it if you’re going to bore a person to death.”

(Worse things have been blocked out I’m sure.) But, I think having to constantly look under the surface of every sound did something to the way the child thought. At least, I can’t see how it wouldn’t. Having to pull out a convincing demonstration of an angry young man became easy. She loved me ‘cuz I was good at imitation. Young people are so moldable.

Anyway, maybe that’s why the older I get, the more I realize she’s still with me. I’ve become an adult who is still partially a child and I don’t mind ‘cuz it seems fair since I was made to be a child who was partially an adult.
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    she was quite the teacher..
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    olderman wrote:
    she was quite the teacher..

    She actually was. I spent a lot of time with her when I was growing up. I don't do her justice with this tiny little thing, but I've been thinking about her this week and so this came out.
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  • sistanumsy
    sistanumsy Posts: 218
    In you to have put forth such great effort to your instruction. I hope your memories of her remain fond she sounds like a fire ball.
    K-The lost will do their best to get home, if they are loved. To our soldiers who have given what they had.
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    justam wrote:
    Anyway, maybe that’s why the older I get, the more I realize she’s still with me. I’ve become an adult who is still partially a child and I don’t mind ‘cuz it seems fair since I was made to be a child who was partially an adult.

    As fair as fair can be, justam! :) I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • twin1
    twin1 Posts: 902
    Being Enlightened wrote:
    As fair as fair can be, justam! :) I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)

    I second that! Good read! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINC
    depopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    Being Enlightened wrote:
    As fair as fair can be, justam! :) I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)


    indeed....thnkyou for sharing
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • electronblue
    electronblue WPB, Florida Posts: 3,504
    a truly great read and thanks for sharing, justam!...~




    :)
    ********************************
    "Forgive every being,
    the bad feelings 
    it's just me"


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