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That one

justamjustam Posts: 21,410
edited March 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
she’s playing and pulling
it makes me so sad
she’s taking advantage of the treasure she had

words and words
not deeds or truth
over and over it seeps through the roof

I’ll try not to run
but stay to protect
‘cuz I see what’s been happening, it’s overkill or neglect
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • karma defectkarma defect Posts: 5,483
    not deeds or truth.

    I'd write No deeds or truth.

    But nice reading i must say.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    karma defect wrote:
    not deeds or truth.

    I'd write No deeds or truth.

    But nice reading i must say.

    I chose the word "not" because it worked better.

    Words and words, not deeds or truth.

    It was a substitution for "instead of" or "rather than". The word "no" doesn't imply that connection to the previous line. :)
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  • karma defectkarma defect Posts: 5,483
    I felt it could, but no harm intended.
    Like I said; I enjoyed reading it.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    karma defect wrote:
    I felt it could, but no harm intended.
    Like I said; I enjoyed reading it.

    No harm taken, I was just explaining my choice. :)

    (Also, now that I think of it, it's probably related to the fact that the Catholic school I went to had the moto "Not words but deeds"....)
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  • karma defectkarma defect Posts: 5,483
    A you sure it was a school, I know a soccer club that will take you on if you shout out that moto.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    karma defect wrote:
    A you sure it was a school, I know a soccer club that will take you on if you shout out that moto.

    Yes I'm sure, only it was in Latin. It's in the crest of an old ring I have. :D
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  • karma defectkarma defect Posts: 5,483
    Cool. Did you get that at the school as standaard out fit, or when you succesfully end the school?

    I got a pen!!
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    karma defect wrote:
    Cool. Did you get that at the school as standaard out fit, or when you succesfully end the school?

    I got a pen!!

    It was on our class ring, so it was related to graduation. (It was so long ago!!)
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  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    justam wrote:
    she’s playing and pulling
    it makes me so sad
    she’s taking advantage of the treasure she had

    words and words
    not deeds or truth
    over and over it seeps through the roof

    I’ll try not to run
    but stay to protect
    ‘cuz I see what’s been happening, it’s overkill or neglect


    i like this.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
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