And if it came
justam
Posts: 21,410
And if it all came to nothing
n o t h i n g
not something
a wisp
a wish
a wash
She’d cry and cry
and no one would see
not a single soul
he’d still be so far away
no one would see
but it doesn’t mean the river wouldn’t flow
it would
yes it would
and she’d be wondering
again
why can’t people even try?
she didn’t understand the lack of trying
she never understood that approach
so frustrating to feel like another could be in charge
in charge of her happiness
withholding himself
giving up
going away
why did people go?
why go when she wanted them to stay?
n o t h i n g
not something
a wisp
a wish
a wash
She’d cry and cry
and no one would see
not a single soul
he’d still be so far away
no one would see
but it doesn’t mean the river wouldn’t flow
it would
yes it would
and she’d be wondering
again
why can’t people even try?
she didn’t understand the lack of trying
she never understood that approach
so frustrating to feel like another could be in charge
in charge of her happiness
withholding himself
giving up
going away
why did people go?
why go when she wanted them to stay?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
:(
yes it would
and she’d be wondering
again
why can’t people even try?
she didn’t understand the lack of trying
she never understood that approach
I really like your poem but i think this part gould be reworked. The part
why can't people even try? <<< I like a lot, But
she didn't understand the lack of trying.<<< doesn't work for me
How about rewording somethink like this
Trying she can't percive
"she didn't understand the lack of trying" is exactly what I meant to say though. What you wrote doesn't express the same idea!
I mean--she couldn't understand people who wouldn't even attempt something, not even try to do something to see if it's possible...
As you know, there are people in the world who throw up their hands and give up and she didn't understand that attitude.