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Being Enlightened!!!!

CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Again!

Full inbox!

I'm gonna start calling you CranMalReign Jr.

Or Sr.

Since you're old and I'm young. ;)
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Sorry Cran! :(

    Sometimes this withered old bag's brain just plum forgets that her rickety old box still gets filled up.

    All clear, my young friend! :)

    ps. When I have some time I'll do some major spring cleaning. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    Sorry Cran! :(

    Sometimes this withered old bag's brain just plum forgets that her rickety old box still gets filled up.

    All clear, my young friend! :)

    ps. When I have some time I'll do some major spring cleaning. :)

    Does that include Summer's Eve?
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  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Does that include Summer's Eve?

    Massengil - To clean the mess in Jill. :D

    (only my name's not Jill so, I guess it is Summer's Eve for me! ;) ).

    Ya douchebag! :D

    Now, I've got to get back to work here! :(
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    Massengil - To clean the mess in Jill. :D

    (only my name's not Jill so, I guess it is Summer's Eve for me! ;) ).

    Ya douchebag! :D

    Now, I've got to get back to work here! :(

    When I was a kid, I used to think douche was a kind of bubble bath, cuz all the commercials had women in bubble baths.

    I'm dreamin of summer, cool breezes, fresh air
    When I get that feeling, Summer's Eve takes me there
    That clean fresh feeling keepst he good times on my mind
    Summer's Eve, brings back freshness every time
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  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    "Summer's Eve... makes me feel fine..."

    goddam that shit was funny

    I always remember the commercials where they're on the beach or out in the middle of the lake floating serenely and asking each other if they ever felt....

    not so fresh

    and wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean.

    I had no idea that women were perishables like, say, avocados or something. Fresh? eh?

    what's YOUR expiration date? [death]

    sell by? [pimped]

    freeze by? [michael jacksoned]

    fuck by?
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    I have never asked anyone if they have that "not so fresh feeling"!

    If I had to do a commercial, it would go like this:

    Me (camera zooms in on me, smiling sweetly at my pal, Belinda): Hey Belinda?

    Belinda (camera zooms on Belinda, she's looking at me and smiling) : Yeah?

    (camera zooms out to show us both on our 10 speeds, donning helmets and way cool, top of the line cycling gear)

    Me: You ever get that not so fresh feeling down there? You know, where you bleed? Does it stink? Is it rancid down there? Do you ever even shower, girlfriend?

    Belinda: *looks at me shocked and disgusted and can no longer speak and she stops cycling mid-pedal*

    Me (zoom to me getting off my bike and walking casually over to a nearby picnic table which dons the "product") So, my friends, if you're as disgusting a whore as my pal, Belinda here, use "Summer's Eve-extra strength" douche. (I point to the box and the camera zooms in close) That should get the stink out! :)
    (I look over my shoulder smiling at Belinda who is looking like she's on the verge of tears). END.
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Who let the stink out?

    Woof. Woof woof woof.
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    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH <erm....pees pants...>...hehhahhahahahHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA H HA A A HA H AH AH AH HAAAAAaaaaa.......

    <damn>






    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    I have never asked anyone if they have that "not so fresh feeling"!

    If I had to do a commercial, it would go like this:

    Me (camera zooms in on me, smiling sweetly at my pal, Belinda): Hey Belinda?

    Belinda (camera zooms on Belinda, she's looking at me and smiling) : Yeah?

    (camera zooms out to show us both on our 10 speeds, donning helmets and way cool, top of the line cycling gear)

    Me: You ever get that not so fresh feeling down there? You know, where you bleed? Does it stink? Is it rancid down there? Do you ever even shower, girlfriend?

    Belinda: *looks at me shocked and disgusted and can no longer speak and she stops cycling mid-pedal*

    Me (zoom to me getting off my bike and walking casually over to a nearby picnic table which dons the "product") So, my friends, if you're as disgusting a whore as my pal, Belinda here, use "Summer's Eve-extra strength" douche. (I point to the box and the camera zooms in close) That should get the stink out! :)
    (I look over my shoulder smiling at Belinda who is looking like she's on the verge of tears). END.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by setaside2
    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH <erm....pees pants...>...hehhahhahahahHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA H HA A A HA H AH AH AH HAAAAAaaaaa.......

    <damn>

    I wish there was a smiley that gave a skrinchy face and had a clothes peg over it's nose!

    Me: I smell tuna, Belinda and it's not your sandwich I'm talking about, girl! :p;)

    ps. Good night sweeties!
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • PJfaninmainePJfaninmaine Posts: 216
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


    OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TOO FUCKING FUNNY! ROFLMAO! TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE,,,,,,,DOES YOUR DOUCHE WORK OVERTIME?????????
    If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different....I'd rather be completely fucking mental.
    (Angelina Jolie)
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