Bald

CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
edited November 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Today's offering. Off of the "serious" stint I've been on lately. Something a little more light hearted.

~~~

Bald
August 31, 2001

I shaved my pubes last night
It was something to do
When the loneliness dragged my mind away

It makes me look bigger
I like that.

But it's not quite the same, I imagine,
As when a woman does it.
It's not quite so smooth
Not quite so
Pretty.
Lifting off this curly cloak
Does not reveal some hidden feminine delicacy:
Those last smooth curves that make her...
Perfect

No, it just uncovers a few more bumps and wrinkles
It sticks out like that barren patch in an otherwise lush lawn where the wading pool sat a little too long past Labor Day
And it screams, "Hey look! I'm a fuckin' perv with too much time on his hands!"

But it makes me look bigger
I like that.
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • I itch after I shave.
    No, I still look small.
    Did you save the hair and recycle it into a toupe?
    I heard people in the olden days did that. Icky.

    I always feel.............warm after reading your stuff.
    The warmth of identifying?
    The warmth of prying?
    The warmth of admiration?

    Warm.
  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    I itch after I shave.
    No, I still look small.
    Did you save the hair and recycle it into a toupe?
    I heard people in the olden days did that. Icky.

    I always feel.............warm after reading your stuff.
    The warmth of identifying?
    The warmth of prying?
    The warmth of admiration?

    Warm.

    I itch too. So I've given up on it. Too much hassel and the razor burn's a bitch. Now it's just casual maintenance.

    And I've never had anyone describe their experiences reading my stuff as "warm", which is interesting. Not that many people have read a lot of my stuff, but you know...

    Anyway, mildly interesting story. I have a very dear friend of mine who was integral in pulling the poetry out of me. It's probably the most important thing the two of us share with each other. Anyway, for some special occasion (she may have been going far away at the time), I decided to just sit down with the dinky windows wave recorder and a microphone and read aloud several handfuls of my stuff for her. Then burned it on a CD. Called it "Pwemetry". Bald was my favorite one to read. That's all.
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  • ah,
    the old 'last chicken in the shop' look.
    its always a winner!
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    this one is a much more lighthearted but still just as great as the others in a technical sense. is it wrong that i got a little bit of a chuckle from this one? :)

    i'm really glad you decided to hang around here with us, i hope you're making yourself comfortable and decide to stay a while.
  • Originally posted by coleen
    this one is a much more lighthearted but still just as great as the others in a technical sense. is it wrong that i got a little bit of a chuckle from this one? :)

    i'm really glad you decided to hang around here with us, i hope you're making yourself comfortable and decide to stay a while.

    Chuckle all you want! It's meant to be fun.

    And I do feel quite welcome here... so much so that I find myself neglecting the rest of the PJ board. :(

    Anyway, the hospitality is much warmer here than in other places on the board. Melikes.
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  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Today's offering. Off of the "serious" stint I've been on lately. Something a little more light hearted.

    ~~~

    Bald
    August 31, 2001

    I shaved my pubes last night
    It was something to do
    When the loneliness dragged my mind away

    It makes me look bigger
    I like that.

    But it's not quite the same, I imagine,
    As when a woman does it.
    It's not quite so smooth
    Not quite so
    Pretty.
    Lifting off this curly cloak
    Does not reveal some hidden feminine delicacy:
    Those last smooth curves that make her...
    Perfect

    No, it just uncovers a few more bumps and wrinkles
    It sticks out like that barren patch in an otherwise lush lawn where the wading pool sat a little too long past Labor Day
    And it screams, "Hey look! I'm a fuckin' perv with too much time on his hands!"

    But it makes me look bigger
    I like that.

    It's about time guys gave us women the same courtesy we give them! And besides, it makes you look bigger! ;)

    I like this, it gave me a nice big pervert grin for the morning!:D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Chuckle all you want!
    Are you used to woman chuckling at you, um, piece?
  • my god
    your in for some irratation when it grows back!

    imagine a thousand ants coated in chilli powder crawling about on an open wound!
    apologies to anyone eating whilst reading
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • Originally posted by Being Enlightened

    I like this, it gave me a nice big pervert grin for the morning!:D

    Now that's the kinda talk I like to hear from a lady!
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  • >Did you save the hair and recycle it into a toupe?



    i like to fill in the patchy areas of my beard with the trimmings.....
  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    Are you used to woman chuckling at you, um, piece?

    I surely am! They're always like, "You really think you're gonna be able to fit that whole thing in me? ::chuckle::" ;)
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  • Round peg, triangular hole.
    It'll work.
  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Now that's the kinda talk I like to hear from a lady!

    :D;):o
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    I surely am! They're always like, "You really think you're gonna be able to fit that whole thing in me? ::chuckle::" ;)


    We can give it a shot!!!!! If at first you dont' succeed...try, try again













    nothing




    a little











    spit
















    won't












    fix






















    LOL
    Love is for the the lonely
    Money for the poor
    Hate is for the insecure
    War is for the weak
  • Originally posted by babysistermama
    We can give it a shot!!!!! If at first you dont' succeed...try, try again


    nothing

    a little

    spit

    won't

    fix

    LOL

    Man... I should post more poems like this... brings out the best in the ladies of the board! ;)
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  • great poem, and i found it only itches the first few times after a while the itching stops, at least it did for me
    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. -Ernest Benn
  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    We went from Poetry Forum to

    Penthouse Forum.


    Sign your fantasies at the door please. And leave the velcro out where we can see it.

    and CranMal... interesting take. Penis enlargement via optical illusion. Dig it. No smoke and mirrors, just a bic and some Edge. Well well well....
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • Originally posted by setaside2

    and CranMal... interesting take. Penis enlargement via optical illusion. Dig it. No smoke and mirrors, just a bic and some Edge. Well well well....

    Maybe I should start sending out spam email to promote my method in order to compete with all the enlargement pill spam on the net?
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  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    Round peg, triangular hole.
    It'll work.
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