Sörum

CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
edited December 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
This is the last pwem I wrote for a dear friend of mine. She and I had always cared for each other, but never ended up on the same page. And so she married someone else.

I bought her a windowseat named Sörum from Ikea as a wedding present which represented some sort of irony to me the last time I allowed myself to feel love for her.

~~~

Sörum
October 6, 2002

She tossed me blankets
from the window seat
I bought for her wedding
before hugging me weakly
and wishing me good night

We had just completed another
awkward subject change
and were both pondering
if fate was real
or doubt mortal
as we sat in candlelight
on the porch where we used to smoke together
(back when we both still smoked)

We stared down a teetering sort of silence
which threatened to beg the questions
from behind it's ghostly veil of good behavior
or kept composure
Her husband laid oblivious and asleep in her bed
dying of a ruptured pancreas
or stomach cancer
or over-cooked biscuits

and we laughed a little,
scraping the night of hesitation and greed,
successfully ignoring the ugly specter
of my misconstrued secrets
screaming to be told
before giving in and giving up

But she blew out the candles
sending a last gasp of smoke and hope
drifting toward Heaven or bed
and I stood in the dark
smiling
and hating,
remembering unconditional love
and what it must have felt like
if I had paid attention when I had it

As I dressed my air mattress for the night,
I pondered silently my fate and doubt
and pretended not to hear every one of her footsteps
dragging my escape away from me

I slid out of my jeans
(naked, at last)
and draped them carefully across the window seat
not near a window
but by the door
and dried my eyeballs staring into infinity
through the ceiling I knew had to be there
shielding me from meteorites and the rain

Then
sometime between a curse of memories
and the curse of wakefulness
I dreamt uneasily
of waves and the ocean
and of drowning
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • I miss B.E. :(
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    I miss B.E. :(
    Say it loud
    Say it SPANK
  • I missed you guys too! I guess that's why I'm here right now. :D

    Did I hear someone say the magic word??? :D

    SPANKIDY-SPANK-SPANK;)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    CranMal.


    I know this poem like the back of my mind and all the thoughts hidden for another so long ago.

    I don't know if you read my thread of if you gave up or if it just didn't suit your tastes, which I can understand, but there is/are a few things in there about my version of that same similar story.

    hope you find it and like it sometime...

    seta

    but, on another note, this was your most beautiful piece yet.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • Originally posted by setaside2
    CranMal.


    I know this poem like the back of my mind and all the thoughts hidden for another so long ago.

    I don't know if you read my thread of if you gave up or if it just didn't suit your tastes, which I can understand, but there is/are a few things in there about my version of that same similar story.

    hope you find it and like it sometime...

    seta

    but, on another note, this was your most beautiful piece yet.

    I thank you very much for the compliment. This is probably one of my favorites, I think, from my own collection.

    I will admit in shame that I haven't paid much attention to your thread. I see it daily and am intrigued by it, but the sheer size of it causes me to shy away. I have a nasty habit of avoiding threads with more than a dozen or so replies. I am robbing myself, I am sure.

    And so, thanks to your persuasion, I will begin to tackle the thread today in my whisps of free time.

    I'm off!
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    dear me CranMal, I wasn't trying to guilt trip you into doing that, I promise.

    I tend to be overbearing and I beg forgiveness.

    I always wondered what would have happened if I had just done a whoooooooole bunch of little threads, but I just don't think it would have been me.

    ah well.


    I enjoy your work.. there is a quiet confidence there. Sometimes a quiet arrogance too... but it's all so honest. I often wish my pieces had your out and out strength and effect, mine are so murked in subtleties and metaphor (setaphor as radar calls it).

    I love the styles hereabouts. Refreshing and inspiring all the same.

    seta
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
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