Downer... because I can

CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
A Moment in the Life Of: "Hop in, honey."
December 24, 2000

"I hadn't planned on doing this," dad said as he turned up the driveway toward the cemetery on the hill.

He had.

His son sat in the passenger seat; his wife, his daughter, and her boyfriend were crammed into the back seat. They had been driving around for a half hour or so looking at Christmas lights like they do every 23rd of December. That was probably the only tradition that wasn't broken or altered after the tragic death of his other daughter, the middle child, a year and a half previous. Maybe he felt the family couldn't handle doing the same family things they used to on the holidays. At least not without the whole family there. Maybe he couldn't handle it.

The car crept slowly through the cemetery on the top of the hill. The fresh coating of snow, virgin to both tire tracks and footsteps, crunched softly beneath the weight of the car. Slowly around every turn, the snow gave way and the car slipped a few inches. The TruValue Hardware Christmas Collection CD was playing and everyone was silent.

The car stopped. They were 100 feet from her headstone. No one wanted to get out in the biting cold and wind. The Christmas music stopped and he rolled down his window. Everyone sat silently and shivered. "Hop in, honey," he said as he blew a kiss out the window. "We all know you're already with us."

He looked out the window a little longer, choking back his tears. Everyone else looked forward, or at their feet. "We'll be back to see you tomorrow," he said before rolling up the window and continuing on. The Christmas music continued where it had left off.
  • 98 Pgh
  • 00 Pgh
  • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
  • 04 Boston 1|Reading
  • 05 Philly
  • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
  • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
  • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
  • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
  • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
  • 12 Philly
  • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
  • 14 Cincy|StL
  • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
  • 18 Boston 1+2
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    Is that what your family does for your sister?

    Very touching.
  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    Is that what your family does for your sister?

    Very touching.

    That's what my dad does for my sister. Among other things. We all grieve different ways and, well, we better grieve his way too or he'll pout.
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • :(

    That is really sweet! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Closely related... different tone... weird mood i'm in...

    ~~~

    To Sell Eternity
    April 21, 2003

    Some somber clown
    in shorts and sneaks
    hawked McAfterlife in
    name brand Happy Meal caskets
    Humidity and surrealism
    melted tact like clocks
    over bare branches of unimportance

    My sister lay cold
    dead and unnatural upstairs --
    peaked and reconstructed --
    in air conditioned comfort

    while Dad squabbled over the price
    of the box she would rot in
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • Cran,
    you have a great way with words.
    extremely touching.
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • Originally posted by sultryevening
    Cran,
    you have a great way with words.
    extremely touching.

    I imagine you're talking about "A Moment in the Life Of" and not "To Sell Eternity".

    :)
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • JaidraJaidra Posts: 57
    I don't want to say that I really like your poem To Sell Eternity, because it makes me feel rude to admire something born out of such a difficult situation.

    But I do like your poem. And sometimes that's the best thing we can do with something ugly - create something out of it to share with other people.

    I'm sorry for your loss (i can't even imagine...)
    but I am glad that you still seek to fill the world with beauty.
  • Originally posted by Jaidra
    I don't want to say that I really like your poem To Sell Eternity, because it makes me feel rude to admire something born out of such a difficult situation.

    But I do like your poem. And sometimes that's the best thing we can do with something ugly - create something out of it to share with other people.

    I'm sorry for your loss (i can't even imagine...)
    but I am glad that you still seek to fill the world with beauty.

    Thank you very much. Very appreciated. I understand the awkwardness of saying whether or not you like such a personal and touchy poem. I deal with that when my friend writes about her best friend who died of cancer a little while ago. It's tough.

    But appreciated, regardless.

    BTW: I don't recognize you from around here... and judging by your post count, you're relatively new... so welcome!
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    melt tact like clocks






    nice on the toungue/in the mouth...
    It's all yellow.


  • JaidraJaidra Posts: 57
    Thanks CranMal.

    I do feel welcome here :)
  • JaidraJaidra Posts: 57
    I read an article once about a girl who died after receiving a new heart. The headline referred to her coldly as the "Transplant Girl". It jarred me so much that I knew I wanted to write a poem about it. Nothing came out until today when I read about your stark moments of loss.


    Transplant Girl

    A headline
    A headlight
    A beam from above

    A child, so delicate
    Deep filled with love

    A darkness
    A shadow
    Burrows deep in her core

    She tries to escape it
    Only runs into more

    A victim
    Unfortunate
    Casualty of war

    God bless the causes
    Our angels die for

    A heartache
    A headache
    A schedule to keep

    Can’t wait much longer
    This pain hurts too deep

    A moment
    A heartbeat
    Already too long

    I vow to discover
    Where your light carries on
  • Originally posted by Jaidra
    I read an article once about a girl who died after receiving a new heart. The headline referred to her coldly as the "Transplant Girl". It jarred me so much that I knew I wanted to write a poem about it. Nothing came out until today when I read about your stark moments of loss.



    Transplant Girl

    A headline
    A headlight
    A beam from above

    A child, so delicate
    Deep filled with love

    A darkness
    A shadow
    Burrows deep in her core

    She tries to escape it
    Only runs into more

    A victim
    Unfortunate
    Casualty of war

    God bless the causes
    Our angels die for

    A heartache
    A headache
    A schedule to keep

    Can’t wait much longer
    This pain hurts too deep

    A moment
    A heartbeat
    Already too long

    I vow to discover
    Where your light carries on

    I think this is beautiful. I especially like the "God bless the causes / Our angels die for" bit. Style, too. Title stands in stark contrast to the content, which makes it all the more powerful.

    Thank you for sharing.
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • Wow, this is very excellent. Wow.
  • There is triumph in pain, because the pieces that are missing let us know the whole is alive - I was debating whether or not to share this but if any thread deserves it this one does -


    To Those Who Fell From the 84th Floor


    I lay in bed rolling over to each side, staring from wall to ceiling
    Unable to blink
    Even to shut my eyes for any period of time
    Out of fear
    Not the usual fear of hurt or harm, fear of what is known
    Fear of acceptance
    The simple act of blinking floods my sight with darkness
    Then a face
    That face, a new one every blink, every second of darkness is someone
    Who is dead
    With every blink, and every face, an eternity flashes forward and I
    Can’t keep up
    Someone I knew and loved, now the people I cared about make me afraid to
    Close my eyes
    I lay awake with the lamps on but my mind is anything but
    Bathed in light
    I am restless, waiting for unfulfilled tears while denying they will help anyway
    I am sweating
    The memorials are short, but empty caskets fall nightly into the void of my eyelids
    Another day
    I pull off the covers as if they were the death mask of some putrescent decaying pharaoh
    An unfinished life
    I can concentrate on the loss of so much but ruefully forget the joy of memories
    Of a great many
  • It goes against all my board instincts but I think this thread deserves a bump...I apologize to all offended
  • Bump indeed.

    Elf... the people I cared about make me afraid...

    Powerful. Sad. Broken.

    Death has many shades, and many hues it bathes us in, as exemplified by this thread.

    I implore others to share their personal take, if they have one.
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
Sign In or Register to comment.