Could you tell me if this is a good start

pearlzepfan

wI've been writing this for about two weeks and I'm loosing confidence in it. Not sure if it's as good as I first thought. So could you help me out if I should keep going or not. Thanks

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I'm traveling alone
Through valleys unknown
With only myself and the road
Ain't nobody there
Or anywhere
To help me carry my load
Where sunlight unfolds
And the moonlight holds
Every ounce of breath you breathe
I've nowhere to go
And it's starting to show
I could stay, but instead I leave

Snows falling down
Covers the ground
I follow your footsteps to a tee
Every day
Is another way
For you to get further from me
I hear the call
I've no faith at all
I find nothing in which to believe
I put my hat on
In a moment I'm gone
I could stay, but instead I leave

redmosquito10

not sure if they're supposed to be, but i like it as lyrics. not sure why, it just struck me as a song. as far as that goes, i like it a lot, i think there's a few lines that could take some tweaking (follow your footsteps to a tee seems like its struggling to keep the rhyme scheme) but i definitely would not give up on it. then again, i just enjoy writing and reading others writing, but i don't really know anything about criticizing or critiquing, so i guess take anything i say with a grain of salt. anyways, to stop rambling, i like it a lot, and i wouldn't give up on it.

pearlzepfan

I've spent the day on and off on this verse, not sure if i'll use it but right now i'm too lazy to get up and find a pen, so this is the only other place i can write it.

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I cry no tear
Except for you my dear
No one could ever change my mind
Because when I
Look into your eyes
You're still so hard to find
I hang off the cliff
Hope the wind chagnes shift
For once you'll be the one to grieve
We'll meet again
But I don't know when
I could stay, but instead I leave