Is this a good start to my song?? I can't tell If I like it

pearlzepfan

I literally wrote this in a minute so It's not perfected yet (maybe it is)
But it's gonna be a lot longer than this but I'm just wondering by the first two verses what you thought.


I've seen many people fall down
Can't pick themselves back up
And get back on solid ground
Only if I wasn't so weak
Could I find the voice to speak
I'm so sick of being pushed around
You ain't ever gonna keep me down

I've heard many people say
I'm not good enough for you
That I should just go away
Maybe if I weren't so lonesome
And maybe you're the one
I"m so sick of being pushed around
You ain't ever gonna keep me down


that's it so far. At first I liked it cuz I've got the music for it in my head but reading the words out loud. maybe it's not so good. It's sounds like i'm whining about something.

What do you think. Anything you have to say (regarding what I've written so far) would be helpful

pearlzepfan

Here's the whole song if you cared at all. It took me about an hour but I still don't know if it's good. I set it to chords and I don't know. It's either the best thing I've ever written or the worst.




I've seen many people fall down
Can't pick themselves back up
And get back on solid ground
Only if I wasn't so weak
Could I find the voice to speak
I'm so sick of being pushed around
You ain't ever gonna keep me down

I've heard many people say
I'm not good enough for her
That I should just go away
Maybe if I weren't so lonesome
And maybe you're the one
I"m so sick of being pushed around
You ain't ever gonna keep me down

Maybe we oughta get out of this town
Maybe that is what's brigning us down
You can only be so low before you hit the ground

I've had better times than these
Back when I was young
Back when life was so easy
I've never known you
To be so cruel
I'm so sick of being pushed around
You ain't ever gonna keep me down

I've waited such a long time
For her to come back to me
She's always on my mind
I guess I should leave
Just like you left me
I'm so sick of being pushed around
You ain't ever gonna keep me down

Maybe we oughta get out of this town
Maybe that is what's bringing us down
You can only be so low before you hit the ground

Kovo

I know where this song is coming from, good job.

Boom The Cat

good song, but I think it flows better if you leave a gap after the first 3 lines of each verse

twin1

I like this song as well.