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A Riled Victory

PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
edited January 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
patience is a virtue
one that she lacks
her body is beautiful
but her lungs turned black
the ashes fall with the rising of smoke
as thoughts consume her so much she chokes
with the face of an angel
made by the hands of my God
weathered by her soul
it decayed into sod
the sunlight is absent from her once glowing face
pale as a monster it's hard to erase
what she was then and what she is now
her kingdom has fallen slowly to the ground
but she still wears the crown like never before
she's as good as dead and used like a whore
writhing in the dirt from the life which was lost
was all of it worth the hurt that it cost
I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Cancer is such an ugly disease. :( This was very sad and I could picture this beauty being poisoned and decaying, rotting, while those around can only watch and bow their heads in sadness and disgust.

    Yeah, definately a good advert for quitting smoking! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • AyedavanitaAyedavanita Posts: 1,443
    ...sickening
    "You think I got my eyes closed but I'm lookin' at you the whole fuckin' time..."
  • twin2twin2 Posts: 894
    That was well written but awful and really sad.
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    THATS PRETTY DEEP......
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    PJammin' wrote:
    patience is a virtue
    one that she lacks
    her body is beautiful
    but her lungs turned black
    the ashes fall with the rising of smoke
    as thoughts consume her so much she chokes
    with the face of an angel
    made by the hands of my God
    weathered by her soul
    it decayed into sod
    the sunlight is absent from her once glowing face
    pale as a monster it's hard to erase
    what she was then and what she is now
    her kingdom has fallen slowly to the ground
    but she still wears the crown like never before
    she's as good as dead and used like a whore
    writhing in the dirt from the life which was lost
    was all of it worth the hurt that it cost


    I aggree with all the comments.

    a great piece

    provoking, ugly, and uber
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
    don't come here to this part of the board all that often, but i just might start doing so. thanks for all of the posts and your perspectives. it's truly helped. also, i just want to say that there are A LOT of talented people here and i enjoy reading all of your work. it inspires and takes me away. keep writing! :)
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
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