Dear Lover - My first poem

PearlsGirl

This is my first poem I have written, please do criticize, I'm horrible at this stuff.

Dear Lover

Dear Lover
I peeked through your window on a starry night
To see you looking so beautifully bright.
There were a few candles that lit up the room
And some soft music to set the mood.
Dear lover
A thought so wonderful came to my mind
How I thought it was me you were going to grind.!
I was terribly wrong though I soon would find…
Dear lover
I saw her come through the front door
She had those shoes that clicked on the floor
You saw her and hugged her, even gave her a kiss…
In a place that once made me feel heavenly bliss.
Dear lover
I saw it all…
To the bedroom you took her, to make sweet love
On a bed that many times freed me like a dove.
Dear lover
It was making me sick
To see that you moved on so quick
As you laid your hand upon her breast
I wanted to escape so I didn’t have to see the rest
Dear Lover
I didn’t know what to do, so I cried and cried
It was hard, but I guess I survived.
Dear lover
I am here to tell you that I’m ok,
Grieving at my own pace as some may say
I will move on and be happy some day.

Federico

IMHO: though you got an acceptable use of the metric (do you call it that way in english?), the content of the poem is still a little too descriptive...if this comes from something that has happened to you in the last few days, i guess you might let some more days go by to let the hours wash away the merely occasional facts so that you can seek into deeper, surely more abstract, feelings...that always gives a poem much more strength...

sorry for my dumb english, hope I´ve been clear...

p.d.: keep on writing..is the best therapy!!!...you´ll always have some readers here!

PearlsGirl

Thank you, I'll have another shot at it as you said in a few days. I want to become better at writing poetry.