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selfish

coleencoleen Posts: 938
edited March 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
is this girl
for missing you
for remembering us then
for enjoying your persistence
for dreaming of sharing the future
for wanting to be near you
for hoping for words and time and a place
for keeping you in my heart
for breathing in your truth
for waiting to hear your heart
for relishing your enthusiasm
for being scared sometimes
for wondering who i am to you
for feeling sure that we belong
for wishing our paths will bring us together


but above all else
selfish is this girl
for imagining ever after
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    Whenever an unfair accusation is thrown at us we have this sensation in our bodies as if we need to find some resource to reply immediately...it's as if we throw a bucket on a string down our mouths as we gasp air, hoping it will land into the firey pit of our stomach and collect the passion and substance of our feeling to reply. In fear of reproach, we often start chewing on the end of the rope and never call back our fund of defence. But you have.
    You brought the bucket of fire back for us to see, and it's actually a bit golden.

    :)
  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    i'm humbled to find a such a beautiful reply from one of the brightest of the new crew. i am delighted by the creativity and magic you share in all of your own posts, that each day i look forward to reading. they send me to smiling or reeling or toward some bit of something inside and as much as i've loved to read and re-read i am struck dumb for the words to express it.



    i'm not quite there in my own posts yet but i hope i get closer a bit a time - closer to saying it as i meant it which escapes me mostly. like in the case of a selfish girl - she wants too much at the time she ought to be more giving. she is in the process of exploring the ache - she looks inside and finds that her heart is selfish.
  • BuruBuru Posts: 8,473
    I liked your poem Coleen, and sorry if I'm not very good with replies...
    It does have the body of self-reproach, could have been brought on by different things, I like how you ennumerate your reasons
    and I thought you wrapped it up very nicely in the last verses

    Buru
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    Originally posted by coleen
    she wants too much at the time she ought to be more giving... she looks inside and finds that her heart is selfish.

    Too many tangents to go off on here.

    There's the ache we are all forced to explore when we ourselves are in need.

    There are beliefs in persistence and honesty, which could result unfortunately, in a pushing away either for a moment or an eternity.

    Oh, and there is of course the old feminist tact which would have this woman blameful of furthering all that is downtroden within this patriarchical humanity.

    Guilt mixed with indignance, a bizarre cocktail sure to get the biggest of us drunk and on our ass.

    Rohypnal anyone???
  • FelicityFelicity Posts: 339
    nah-uh

    that selfish girl should always be selfish. take what's yours, nobody's going to hand it to you. it costs, but it is worth it because it is rightfully yours then. never let anybody tell you that you are selfish. damn straight we are, but we give endlessly too, without even thinking.

    shellfish girls should also be selfish. (say that 5x fast)

    have you been on the phone?
  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    goodness, i feel fortunate that you have all responded and certainly it is a boost to get such thoughtful replies from you all.

    we all have moments of need, some justified others perhaps not so much. its hard to say which is which when there is always more than one side to a story and most definitely when one side isn't represented.

    maybe it was a poor choice in title....it could very well have read sad is this girl or lonely is this girl or needy is this girl or goofy is this girl. only selfish is the way i felt about how i was feeling - makes perfect sense right? ha ha ha

    silly is this girl, greedy is this girl,.....ah the possibilities are endless. its fun! play along.

    ;D
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    coleen, i think a lot of people are taught to feel "selfish" when they need something... not sure that it's with conscious intent, but some parents just find guilt the easiest tool in control... it's how they were raised, and so on and so on...


    no doubt it's hard to want something from someone who just can't give it for whatever reason, but that doesn't imply the person wanting is wrong or bad or silly or mixed up or goofy...

    sad? sure... i agree totally, and well, it definitely makes for a stop and a thought and a reflection....


    i just came across this statement the other day....

    "when you meet someone who's soul is not aligned with yours, wish them love and move along"


    made sense
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