just a poem ... tell me what ya think ...

amestar
amestar Posts: 4
edited September 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Synthetic joy, or suicide
to quell a broken heart,
to dull the pain and anguish,
of a world that's torn apart,
No prize for second best,
the motto of the times,
success has become a virtue,
whilst failure is a crime.
Few try looking deeper,
into those dismissed as thugs,
to comprehend their agony,
to ask why they turned to drugs.
Society's unforgiving,
towards those who don't fit in,
not bright ...... not white or beautiful,
non conformity's a sin,
Instead of reaching out to those
who fortune failed to grace,
our arms we use to push them,
their troubles we fail to face.
Examining our language,
I discovered a mistake,
a word that made no sense,
a code I failed to break,
when this workd is split in two,
It's ironic what you find,
that the contradiction is,
the race named "human ..... kind."
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • setaside2
    setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    I flat out enjoyed the hell out of that... and agree with most of it as well.

    Killer stuff.

    You know, I have to say that this board has attracted some damn fine and creative people. I'm glad to be here.

    LOL even if I don't fit in.

    seriously, keep posting.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • amestar
    amestar Posts: 4
    hey thanx setaside ... it's nice to hear good things about stuff you write sometimes .. coz it can be a bit dawnting posting stuff like that ... well i reckon ... :)
  • BhagavadGita
    BhagavadGita Posts: 1,748
    that BANANAS are really good food

    fun too

    keeps you from smoking


    :)
    :)
    ;)
    ;0
    00000000000


    naughty
  • setaside2
    setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    hey man, if you're bored and have a great deal of time to waste, check my stuff out and let me know what to think...

    I know that there's like 80 posts or some crazy crap but there's only like 15 pieces in there altogether. You just have to muck your way through it.

    Thanks man. I'll talk to you soon. Let us know when you post a new one!

    seta
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    So sad & so true. I really enjoyed your poem!
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • keven 33
    keven 33 Posts: 259
    perfect example for me to ask a question also

    i think it's great writing well ya know if music

    put to that than the whole thing would change

    somehow , i think it reminds me of stuff that flies

    out of me but yours sounds smarter than mine

    so i have a question for some writers

    what is the mindset going into a chorus for you

    is it the music that creates it for ya or do you write

    it first or am i just rambling
    convicted

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