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Flutters

SchlitzSchlitz Posts: 141
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Ages mean nothing
Space means everything
How far can it stretch?
My hand is callused
Come to me
I just can’t come for you
You tell me to stop
You shouldn’t
You aren’t here
My life is
What is your will?
What do you want?
Dreams of what could be
Or the pain your are putting on me
You can’t tell my face
You’ve never seen it
Don’t slap the flesh you can’t hold
Hold the words that you talk
When you and I finally can
I’ll be scared
My eyes hold more
You haven’t seen them
Puzzles you say my hands type
My hands type my puzzles
Someday when you see
I’ll see your eyes figuring
Then I’ll look away
I’m not one to be solved
I shall remain in my domain
Forever lost with these triangles
They don’t fit my circle of wanting
My wanting can never be in this circle
I’m sorry I flutter through your life
No shape you have found
I change everyday
It’s a love of life that I now hold
But a transformation I’m lost in
Help
Nope can’t ask for that
My shelter lays within my locked up lips
A shape I cannot describe
i have to remain at top sassiness, even though my inner sass is struggling
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    "Forever lost with these triangles
    They don’t fit my circle of wanting"

    Kells.... i LOVED this part. It's just too..... good.

    <3
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    i just want to post that this is one hell of a poem..

    i have read this poem four times and i am not yet ready to stop..

    thanks kelly of the sassiness..

    and keep on thinking free
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • AphroditeAphrodite Posts: 71
    Well I have sat here and read and reread this poem for over a hour....incredible.

    It speaks exactly how I have been feeling for the last two days...wish someone that I hurt would read it.

    Thank you...
    Throughout the course of our lives,we will meet many great people. Friends, family, strangers who somehow cross your path and enemies; they all have something to teach you. Some will leave deep footprints and others will not. Just be sure to wipe your feet before you step into someone's heart.
  • robertthecatrobertthecat Posts: 69
    I can go on a truly technical evaluation of your poem here...great use of imagery, powerful but suttle suggestion, and the rhythmn of the poem is awesome...however before I begin to deconstruct it even more I rather leave it as is, a statement that is simply well put.
  • Obi OnceObi Once Posts: 918
    agreed... really welll written with a great flow!

    "I change everyday
    It’s a love of life that I now hold
    But a transformation I’m lost in"

    constant change
    compassless
    clouding me
    waiting till
    clarity is found
    your light's reflected now
  • SchlitzSchlitz Posts: 141
    wow thank you
    i have to remain at top sassiness, even though my inner sass is struggling
  • carpenter_newtoncarpenter_newton Posts: 71
    wow...
    i suggest you step out on your porch
    run away my son...see it all...oh see the world
  • rise aboverise above Posts: 71
    sass, i think this may be your best one ever...

    and i think you got into all of our heads just a little bit when you wrote this...from the response here, i think we can all feel at least a part of this.
    "Life is a wonderful thing - don't let anyone keep you from enjoying it."
    ---PureandEasy

    *****

    "A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back." --Don Henley

    *****
    ...thank you for a funk-ay time...

    *****

    "there i go, turn the page..."
    --Bob Segar & Metallica

    "You’re a butterfly
    And butterflies are free to fly" - EJ



  • stickboystickboy Posts: 2,981
    very nice kell!
    never seize to amaze me.:D
    Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
    Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
    Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
    ************************************
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    not knowing your other poetry, I feel unencumbered to comment....this is a great poem....it's got attitude that speaks through the flowing lines....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
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