Reflections On the 14th Anniversary of Kurt’s death

musicismylife78

Its crazy, 14 years. Almost 2 decades people! Insane. My first memories of Kurt was seeing the Smells like Teen Spirit video and thinking he was weird and scary, his hair was in his face, you couldn’t see him, he was screaming his head off. I remember my older cousins who I idolized, coming into the house and saying they all got tickets to see Nirvana, I think they were playing with the Chili Peppers and Alice in Chains, and or the Pumpkins. Hell of a bill! I remember my cousin saying Kurt spit on him in one of the final Seattle shows they played.

I remember exactly where I was when I read about Kurt dying, and exactly where it was physically in terms of the newspaper (front page, lower right). I remember even then, as a 10 year old thinking something significant had occurred. I still suggest Kurts death was the most significant and important event of our generation. His death was similar to our parents reactions to MLK or JFK or RFK being assassinated. Each person, we put faith in, and was a spokesman, and then they all died young, prematurely, and tragically. All spoke to a segment of the population who was ignored, abused, mistreated, placated to, and in the end, that segment was left to fend for themselves after their leaders had died.

The impact of his death, its sealing of the fate of grunge, its causing the media to move and leave Seattle, its somber feeling it caused in cities around the country not just in Seattle. Something was lost, and things would never be the same again.

As I said I was 10 when Kurt died. I had been completely obsessed with grunge, even as a youngster. Ten, Vs, Nevermind, In Utero, Dirt, Badmotorfinger and Superunknown were part of my DNA. They spoke to me, in ways, even as a youngster that felt so powerful, scary, and terrifying at the same time. Kurt was a big part of it. He was a spokesman, a hero, a leader.

I spent from 1994-2006 or so mostly listening to music that was unappealing and bland. When grunge hit, my world went form black and white to Technicolor. The waves parted. My world changed. And when Kurt died, music had to live up to 1991-1994 in my mind. And frankly it never did. The feelings I felt while listening to Nevermind never came back, the feeling that a band and singer truly cared for his audience and was speaking to outcasts and rebels and the underclass.

Then finally indie rock hit, which knocked me on my behind. It has caused those old feelings that hearing Kurt scream “a denial” over and over again, or hearing Something In the Way, caused. Hey it only took 12 or 13 years for lightening to strike me again!

That said, Kurt’s death left an awful hole. A hole that those of us who felt the comfort in his voice, could feel again once he died. A hole that hasn’t been filled since his death 14 years ago. You don’t see many people being labeled “spokesman of a generation” anymore. He was a rarity, and a special person.

I have been a fan of Kurt and Nirvana since 1991. And I plan on being one until my dying breath. His words, his music, his importance, its all part of his place in my and others hearts. He spoke to us, he spoke to me, he spoke to my generation. The only bad thing I can think of in terms of Kurt and Nirvana is that growing up and having your first “mindblowing” “life altering” musical experience so young, as I did, it sort of makes later music hard to endure. How can any band or singer measure up to that feeling I had that day, of seeing Kurt smashing his guitar and those Anarchy cheerleaders, and the dancing janitor. How can any album really compare with Nevermind. Who in rock these days has the charisma, charm, wit, and honesty of a Kurt?

Thanks Nirvana, and Thank you Kurt. We miss you. My life was forever changed when I heard your lyrics and music. His fan base and Nirvanas fans will always debate back and forth over if his suicide was selfish and a middle finger to his fans and his family. I don’t think of it that way. He was the real deal, in all his drug addicted, conflicted, torn and suicidal glory. He wasn’t a fake. He made music because he HAD to get it out, not because he wanted to sell out stadiums. To rip off Pitchfork here: We should all be as lucky as I was to have an album and band and musician speak to us as Kurt and Nirvana did. I grew up in the early 1990’s and was lucky enough to have a band, a singer and an entire movement feel like it was written for me, my friends, my generation. That said the music is timeless, to rip off another review, Amazon said, and I am paraphrasing, Nevermind is a classic, and 10 years on, Kurt’s screams and howls still sound as shocking and revolutionary as they did in 1991. Once again, thanks!

jackrabbit slim

radiohead33 wrote:

Its crazy, 14 years. Almost 2 decades people! Insane. My first memories of Kurt was seeing the Smells like Teen Spirit video and thinking he was weird and scary, his hair was in his face, you couldn’t see him, he was screaming his head off. I remember my older cousins who I idolized, coming into the house and saying they all got tickets to see Nirvana, I think they were playing with the Chili Peppers and Alice in Chains, and or the Pumpkins. Hell of a bill! I remember my cousin saying Kurt spit on him in one of the final Seattle shows they played.

I remember exactly where I was when I read about Kurt dying, and exactly where it was physically in terms of the newspaper (front page, lower right). I remember even then, as a 10 year old thinking something significant had occurred. I still suggest Kurts death was the most significant and important event of our generation. His death was similar to our parents reactions to MLK or JFK or RFK being assassinated. Each person, we put faith in, and was a spokesman, and then they all died young, prematurely, and tragically. All spoke to a segment of the population who was ignored, abused, mistreated, placated to, and in the end, that segment was left to fend for themselves after their leaders had died.

The impact of his death, its sealing of the fate of grunge, its causing the media to move and leave Seattle, its somber feeling it caused in cities around the country not just in Seattle. Something was lost, and things would never be the same again.

As I said I was 10 when Kurt died. I had been completely obsessed with grunge, even as a youngster. Ten, Vs, Nevermind, In Utero, Dirt, Badmotorfinger and Superunknown were part of my DNA. They spoke to me, in ways, even as a youngster that felt so powerful, scary, and terrifying at the same time. Kurt was a big part of it. He was a spokesman, a hero, a leader.

I spent from 1994-2006 or so mostly listening to music that was unappealing and bland. When grunge hit, my world went form black and white to Technicolor. The waves parted. My world changed. And when Kurt died, music had to live up to 1991-1994 in my mind. And frankly it never did. The feelings I felt while listening to Nevermind never came back, the feeling that a band and singer truly cared for his audience and was speaking to outcasts and rebels and the underclass.

Then finally indie rock hit, which knocked me on my behind. It has caused those old feelings that hearing Kurt scream “a denial” over and over again, or hearing Something In the Way, caused. Hey it only took 12 or 13 years for lightening to strike me again!

That said, Kurt’s death left an awful hole. A hole that those of us who felt the comfort in his voice, could feel again once he died. A hole that hasn’t been filled since his death 14 years ago. You don’t see many people being labeled “spokesman of a generation” anymore. He was a rarity, and a special person.

I have been a fan of Kurt and Nirvana since 1991. And I plan on being one until my dying breath. His words, his music, his importance, its all part of his place in my and others hearts. He spoke to us, he spoke to me, he spoke to my generation. The only bad thing I can think of in terms of Kurt and Nirvana is that growing up and having your first “mindblowing” “life altering” musical experience so young, as I did, it sort of makes later music hard to endure. How can any band or singer measure up to that feeling I had that day, of seeing Kurt smashing his guitar and those Anarchy cheerleaders, and the dancing janitor. How can any album really compare with Nevermind. Who in rock these days has the charisma, charm, wit, and honesty of a Kurt?

Thanks Nirvana, and Thank you Kurt. We miss you. My life was forever changed when I heard your lyrics and music. His fan base and Nirvanas fans will always debate back and forth over if his suicide was selfish and a middle finger to his fans and his family. I don’t think of it that way. He was the real deal, in all his drug addicted, conflicted, torn and suicidal glory. He wasn’t a fake. He made music because he HAD to get it out, not because he wanted to sell out stadiums. To rip off Pitchfork here: We should all be as lucky as I was to have an album and band and musician speak to us as Kurt and Nirvana did. I grew up in the early 1990’s and was lucky enough to have a band, a singer and an entire movement feel like it was written for me, my friends, my generation. That said the music is timeless, to rip off another review, Amazon said, and I am paraphrasing, Nevermind is a classic, and 10 years on, Kurt’s screams and howls still sound as shocking and revolutionary as they did in 1991. Once again, thanks!

Very well written. A fine tribute.
I miss Kurt, and i imagine what kind of music he would be creating in these times.

harmless_little_f***

Nicely written.. so nicely, in fact, that I'm now spinning Nevermind.

edit: and I forgot how good it is. *nods his head like the ten year old he used to be*

whodunnitb4

Thank you for your thoughts...so well put. I have, in fact, never stopped listening to Nirvana. At least once a day. I still NEED it. Peace.

reeferchief

Thanks for the read, eloquently put.:)

distantsun

radiohead33 wrote:

Its crazy, 14 years. Almost 2 decades people! Insane. My first memories of Kurt was seeing the Smells like Teen Spirit video and thinking he was weird and scary, his hair was in his face, you couldn’t see him, he was screaming his head off. I remember my older cousins who I idolized, coming into the house and saying they all got tickets to see Nirvana, I think they were playing with the Chili Peppers and Alice in Chains, and or the Pumpkins. Hell of a bill! I remember my cousin saying Kurt spit on him in one of the final Seattle shows they played.

I remember exactly where I was when I read about Kurt dying, and exactly where it was physically in terms of the newspaper (front page, lower right). I remember even then, as a 10 year old thinking something significant had occurred. I still suggest Kurts death was the most significant and important event of our generation. His death was similar to our parents reactions to MLK or JFK or RFK being assassinated. Each person, we put faith in, and was a spokesman, and then they all died young, prematurely, and tragically. All spoke to a segment of the population who was ignored, abused, mistreated, placated to, and in the end, that segment was left to fend for themselves after their leaders had died.

The impact of his death, its sealing of the fate of grunge, its causing the media to move and leave Seattle, its somber feeling it caused in cities around the country not just in Seattle. Something was lost, and things would never be the same again.

As I said I was 10 when Kurt died. I had been completely obsessed with grunge, even as a youngster. Ten, Vs, Nevermind, In Utero, Dirt, Badmotorfinger and Superunknown were part of my DNA. They spoke to me, in ways, even as a youngster that felt so powerful, scary, and terrifying at the same time. Kurt was a big part of it. He was a spokesman, a hero, a leader.

I spent from 1994-2006 or so mostly listening to music that was unappealing and bland. When grunge hit, my world went form black and white to Technicolor. The waves parted. My world changed. And when Kurt died, music had to live up to 1991-1994 in my mind. And frankly it never did. The feelings I felt while listening to Nevermind never came back, the feeling that a band and singer truly cared for his audience and was speaking to outcasts and rebels and the underclass.

Then finally indie rock hit, which knocked me on my behind. It has caused those old feelings that hearing Kurt scream “a denial” over and over again, or hearing Something In the Way, caused. Hey it only took 12 or 13 years for lightening to strike me again!

That said, Kurt’s death left an awful hole. A hole that those of us who felt the comfort in his voice, could feel again once he died. A hole that hasn’t been filled since his death 14 years ago. You don’t see many people being labeled “spokesman of a generation” anymore. He was a rarity, and a special person.

I have been a fan of Kurt and Nirvana since 1991. And I plan on being one until my dying breath. His words, his music, his importance, its all part of his place in my and others hearts. He spoke to us, he spoke to me, he spoke to my generation. The only bad thing I can think of in terms of Kurt and Nirvana is that growing up and having your first “mindblowing” “life altering” musical experience so young, as I did, it sort of makes later music hard to endure. How can any band or singer measure up to that feeling I had that day, of seeing Kurt smashing his guitar and those Anarchy cheerleaders, and the dancing janitor. How can any album really compare with Nevermind. Who in rock these days has the charisma, charm, wit, and honesty of a Kurt?

Thanks Nirvana, and Thank you Kurt. We miss you. My life was forever changed when I heard your lyrics and music. His fan base and Nirvanas fans will always debate back and forth over if his suicide was selfish and a middle finger to his fans and his family. I don’t think of it that way. He was the real deal, in all his drug addicted, conflicted, torn and suicidal glory. He wasn’t a fake. He made music because he HAD to get it out, not because he wanted to sell out stadiums. To rip off Pitchfork here: We should all be as lucky as I was to have an album and band and musician speak to us as Kurt and Nirvana did. I grew up in the early 1990’s and was lucky enough to have a band, a singer and an entire movement feel like it was written for me, my friends, my generation. That said the music is timeless, to rip off another review, Amazon said, and I am paraphrasing, Nevermind is a classic, and 10 years on, Kurt’s screams and howls still sound as shocking and revolutionary as they did in 1991. Once again, thanks!

you need some fucking perspective, man. for real.

WhiteMaleRat

comparisons to JFK, RFK and MLK!!? c'mon now I wouldn't even compare it to the death of John Lennon.

muppet

Nice post but to me, Cobain was just another dead rockstar. I guess music doesn't connect to me on that level. I can't imagine myself tearing up if Eddie Vedder died, as harsh as that may sound to some. I think the comparison to Martin Luther King is going too far but that's just me.

FinsburyParkCarrots

I remember when that fella, whatshisname, Crocodile Bloke, got killed by the giant stingray, and there were people on here saying "This is the biggest thing since JFK".

Nothing in my lifetime remotely compares to the death of John Lennon, and even then, he was hardly at his creative peak.

Jeremy1012

JFK and MLK? jeeeeez. He was a musician. He might have been important to you but in the grand scheme of things he wasn't THAT important. I'm not talking music influence here, of course he was important (though I'd argue that there are few worthwhile bands that were influenced by Nirvana) but in a universal way, likening Cobain's death to Martin Luther King's is just insane. I'm not going to say it in as harsh a way as the previous poster but he's right. Let's have some perspective people...

MLC2006

the death of a president or somebody like MLK is important, but this guy obviously wasn't alive when those two things happened. and even if he had been, if the death of Cobain were just as important to him, then it is, and I don't see any reason to question it.

my parents remember exactly where they were when they heard that JFK was dead and when the astronauts landed on the moon.

I remember where I was when I heard that Cobain was dead and when 9/11 happened. am I saying that Cobain dying was just as important as 9/11? no. but it was obviously a very important event for it to be one of two times that I remember very clearly 14+ years later.

bgirl59

Here's a thought.......6 months after Smells Like Teen Spirit is aired on MTV, Poison, Cinderella, Ratt, Skid Row, just to name a few, are finished. I think changing the direction of popular music puts you up there on the important people in American History list.......RIP, KURT.

fragileblake

MLC2006 wrote:

I remember where I was when I heard that Cobain was dead and when 9/11 happened. am I saying that Cobain dying was just as important as 9/11? no. but it was obviously a very important event for it to be one of two times that I remember very clearly 14+ years later.

I agree with this. Cultural history shapes our lives just as much as political/social history.

Jeremy1012

bgirl59 wrote:

Here's a thought.......6 months after Smells Like Teen Spirit is aired on MTV, Poison, Cinderella, Ratt, Skid Row, just to name a few, are finished. I think changing the direction of popular music puts you up there on the important people in American History list.......RIP, KURT.

I don't see what is so incredible about taking a style of music that had been going on for years and the kids in the know already knew about and had been supporting it for years and watering it down for MTV so that the kids who weren't in the know could pretend they were hip for a few years until Creed came along. But that's just me. Right place, right time, good songs, not much else. That was Nirvana. Comparing Kurt with Martin Luther King is just naive. It's a sweet naïveté but it is what it is.

FinsburyParkCarrots

bgirl59 wrote:

Here's a thought.......6 months after Smells Like Teen Spirit is aired on MTV, Poison, Cinderella, Ratt, Skid Row, just to name a few, are finished. I think changing the direction of popular music puts you up there on the important people in American History list.......RIP, KURT.

There's not that much difference between Poison and Nirvana, musicologically or even culturally. We're not talking the difference between James P Johnson and Art Tatum here, or the difference between Lester Young and Charlie Parker. Or Parker and Coltrane. Those are what you'd call giant steps. Ahem.

Jeremy1012

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

There's not that much difference between Poison and Nirvana, musicologically or even culturally. We're not talking the difference between James P Johnson and Art Tatum here, or the difference between Lester Young and Charlie Parker. Or Parker and Coltrane. Those are what you'd call giant steps. Ahem.

Certainly Unskinny Bop and Rape Me are equally immature and obnoxious.

Your giant steps joke was a howler Richard. For shame.

harmless_little_f***

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

There's not that much difference between Poison and Nirvana, musicologically or even culturally. We're not talking the difference between James P Johnson and Art Tatum here, or the difference between Lester Young and Charlie Parker. Or Parker and Coltrane. Those are what you'd call giant steps. Ahem.

Wow, 'musicologically'... there's a word you don't hear used very often.