Dear Hartford security ...

orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
edited June 2008 in The Porch
I want my leatherman back you muffin-top assholes!

this kind of leatherman:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Leatherman_and_beltholder_20050613.jpg/800px-Leatherman_and_beltholder_20050613.jpg

Get this: I had this thing on my keychain when a security guard told me i couldn't bring it in. Now, I had no intention of taking everyone in Hartford hostage, but I understand that rules are rules so I gave it up without much of an argument. The only problem is, what they told me was the lost n' found box on the way in, ended up being the confiscation box on the way out. And when I asked the guy, what happens to the items in the confiscation box, this fat fuck told me that everything that's confiscated goes to the band.

If this is true ... ummm guys, can I have my leatherman back?
Jam out with your clam out.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • tvismyfriendtvismyfriend Posts: 2,118
    Huh, so that's how the get all their weed.
  • Ed: Sweet! Hey guys! They're bringing in the confiscation box!

    Stone: You think they'll ever figure out this is the only reason we do this shit? So we can get free stuff?

    Ed: I dunno. Not really. Did you see that shit on the message board yesterday? That thing about my hair?

    Stone: Saw it? I started it. Atleast with the mohawk you had some cred.

    Ed: Fuck off, four eyes. Maybe I should grow it out REAL long and then just pull back the fucking front. That sounds like a god damn fabulous idea, huh.

    Stone: You motherfu-

    Mike walks in: CONFISCATION BOX! You shitheads didn't start without me did you?! You know how long it takes for me to find all those fucking picks I throw out. Having to crawl around on the floor and shit.

    Matt: Then don't do it. Atleast I can find my drumsticks.

    Mike: Shut the hell up. I gotta make them think I like them. Otherwise they'll know when I have my head back during a solo I'm just dreaming I'm
    somewhere else.

    Jeff: Any hats?

    Ed (mummbling): You and those god damn hats...

    Jeff: What?! I stopped wearing them didn't I?!?

    Ed: WELL IT DOESN'T DO ANY FUCKING GOOD IF YOU STILL BRING THEM WITH US! ALL FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED OF THEM! MY GOD DAMN BED IS NOT YOUR FUCKING HAT STORAGE. AND THEY'RE UGLY!

    Jeff (holding back tears): Dick....

    Mike: Wait...what's that? A LEATHERMAN!

    Stone: Man, I don't wanna play that so-

    Mike: No, you dumb shit....a leatherman! Wooo...lookatit...I call it.

    Ed: No, that's mine!

    Mike: Like fucking hell it is. I could use it for all kinds of shit! I could cut my guitar strings with the wire cutters....uh...use it to get outta police handcuffs after partying all nig-

    Boom: And part of every day...right?! hahahaha.

    Mike: And I can use the knife to stab a motherfucker who thinks they're some kind of shitty comedian.

    Stone: I could use it to fix my glasses

    Mike: You won't need fucking glasses when I tear out your fucking eyeballs if you touch my god damn leatherman!

    Ed: Alright, alright. You can have the fucking leatherman. Jesus.

    Mike: Sweet! Gimme.

    Boom: What do I get...?

    Ed: You fucking get to play with us!? What more could you want?!

    Boom: Bastards...
  • on2legson2legs Posts: 15,348
    Wow... someone has a lot of time on their hands, eh?
    1996: Randall's Island 2  1998: East Rutherford | MSG 1 & 2  2000: Cincinnati | Columbus | Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3 | Boston 1 | Camden 1 & 2 2003: Philadelphia | Uniondale | MSG 1 & 2 | Holmdel  2005: Atlantic City 1  2006: Camden 1 | East Rutherford 1 & 2 2008: Camden 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Newark (EV)  2009: Philadelphia 1, 2 & 4  2010: Newark | MSG 1 & 2  2011: Toronto 1  2013: Wrigley Field | Brooklyn 2 | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2015: Central Park  2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Fenway Park 2 | MSG (TOTD)  2017: Brooklyn (RnR HOF)  2020: MSG | Asbury Park  2021: Asbury Park  2022: MSG | Camden | Nashville  2024: MSG 1 & 2 (#50) | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2025: Raleigh


  • FrankieJFrankieJ Posts: 602
    Ed: Sweet! Hey guys! They're bringing in the confiscation box!

    Stone: You think they'll ever figure out this is the only reason we do this shit? So we can get free stuff?

    Ed: I dunno. Not really. Did you see that shit on the message board yesterday? That thing about me hair?

    Stone: Saw it? I started it. Atleast with the mohawk you had some cred.

    Ed: Fuck off, four eyes. Maybe I should grow it out REAL long and then just pull back the fucking front. That sounds like a god damn fabulous idea, huh.

    Stone: You motherfu-

    Mike walks in: CONFISCATION BOX! You shitheads didn't start without me did you?! You know how long it takes for me to find all those fucking picks I throw out. Having to crawl around on the floor and shit.

    Matt: Then don't do it. Atleast I can find my drumsticks.

    Mike: Shut the hell up. I gotta make them think I like them. Otherwise they'll know when I have my head back during a solo I'm just dreaming I somewhere else.

    Jeff: Any hats?

    Ed (mummbling): You and those god damn hats...

    Jeff: What?! I stopped wearing them didn't I?!?

    Ed: WELL IT DOESN'T DO ANY FUCKING GOOD IF YOU STILL BRING THEM WITH US! ALL FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED OF THEM! MY GOD DAMN BED IS NOT YOUR FUCKING HAT STORAGE. AND THEY'RE UGLY!

    Jeff (holding back tears): Dick....

    Mike: Wait...what's that? A LEATHERMAN!

    Stone: Man, I don't wanna play that so-

    Mike: No, you dumb shit....a leatherman! Wooo...lookatit...I call it.

    Ed: No, that's mine!

    Mike: Like fucking hell it is. I could it for all kinds of shit! I could cut my guitar strings with the wire cutters....uh...use it to get outta police handcuffs after partying all nig-

    Boom: And part of every day...right?! hahahaha.

    Mike: And I can use the knife to stab a motherfucker who thinks they're some kind of shitty comedian.

    Stone: I could use it to fix my glasses

    Mike: You won't need fucking glasses when I tear out your fucking eyeballs if you touch my god damn leatherman!

    Ed: Alright, alright. You can have the fucking leatherman. Jesus.

    Mike: Sweet! Gimme.

    Boom: What do I get...?

    Ed: You fucking get to play with us!? What more could you want?!

    Boom: Bastards...

    OMG This is the best fucking thing ever!!! I love it!! I wish I was that talented..:D
    GO GIANTS
    GO DEVILS
    7/14/03-PNC NJ ~ 6/1/06-CAA1 NJ ~ 6/3/06-CAA2 NJ ~ 8/5/07-Lolla IL ~ 6/24/08-MSG1 ~ 6/25/08-MSG2 ~ 8/7/08-NJPAC (eV Solo)

    "I'm feeling kinda righteous right now...with my Bad@$$-M0therf*ck!n'-Ukulele!"
    -eV 8/7
  • LukinFanLukinFan Florida Posts: 29,066
    long red wrote:
    everything that's confiscated goes to the band.
    haha, come on, you actually believe this?
    www.RLMcDaniel.com

    1996: Ft Lauderdale
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  • orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
    LukinFan wrote:
    haha, come on, you actually believe this?

    oh yeah. totally dude. (sarcasm)
    Jam out with your clam out.
  • zeroenvyzeroenvy Posts: 40
    When we were coming in to hartford all that was said was "do you have a pocketknife?" No frisk, no patdown, nothing. Infact, nothing was even said to me.
    6/27/08!
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Ed: Sweet! Hey guys! They're bringing in the confiscation box!

    Stone: You think they'll ever figure out this is the only reason we do this shit? So we can get free stuff?

    Ed: I dunno. Not really. Did you see that shit on the message board yesterday? That thing about my hair?

    Stone: Saw it? I started it. Atleast with the mohawk you had some cred.

    Ed: Fuck off, four eyes. Maybe I should grow it out REAL long and then just pull back the fucking front. That sounds like a god damn fabulous idea, huh.

    Stone: You motherfu-

    Mike walks in: CONFISCATION BOX! You shitheads didn't start without me did you?! You know how long it takes for me to find all those fucking picks I throw out. Having to crawl around on the floor and shit.

    Matt: Then don't do it. Atleast I can find my drumsticks.

    Mike: Shut the hell up. I gotta make them think I like them. Otherwise they'll know when I have my head back during a solo I'm just dreaming I somewhere else.

    Jeff: Any hats?

    Ed (mummbling): You and those god damn hats...

    Jeff: What?! I stopped wearing them didn't I?!?

    Ed: WELL IT DOESN'T DO ANY FUCKING GOOD IF YOU STILL BRING THEM WITH US! ALL FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED OF THEM! MY GOD DAMN BED IS NOT YOUR FUCKING HAT STORAGE. AND THEY'RE UGLY!

    Jeff (holding back tears): Dick....

    Mike: Wait...what's that? A LEATHERMAN!

    Stone: Man, I don't wanna play that so-

    Mike: No, you dumb shit....a leatherman! Wooo...lookatit...I call it.

    Ed: No, that's mine!

    Mike: Like fucking hell it is. I could use it for all kinds of shit! I could cut my guitar strings with the wire cutters....uh...use it to get outta police handcuffs after partying all nig-

    Boom: And part of every day...right?! hahahaha.

    Mike: And I can use the knife to stab a motherfucker who thinks they're some kind of shitty comedian.

    Stone: I could use it to fix my glasses

    Mike: You won't need fucking glasses when I tear out your fucking eyeballs if you touch my god damn leatherman!

    Ed: Alright, alright. You can have the fucking leatherman. Jesus.

    Mike: Sweet! Gimme.

    Boom: What do I get...?

    Ed: You fucking get to play with us!? What more could you want?!

    Boom: Bastards...


    bravo!!

    :D
  • PittsburghPJPittsburghPJ Posts: 225
    And a P.S to the Raleigh, NC and Hartford, CT police departments: Get a life. Leave those kids alone
    YNWA
  • On2Legs wrote:
    Wow... someone has a lot of time on their hands, eh?


    If you call ten minutes a lot of time...then I guess so.
  • Bangers_n_mashBangers_n_mash Posts: 1,241
    And a P.S to the Raleigh, NC and Hartford, CT police departments: Get a life. Leave those kids alone
    Nice, ten years on and still nothing has changed it seems...
    uʍop ǝpısdn ǝɹ,ǝʍ 'punoɹ ʎɐʍ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ןןɐ s,ʇı
  • JzacurJzacur Posts: 64
    Awesome...absolutely fantastic.
    9/28/05 PNC Park Pittsburgh- 6/23/06 Mellon Arena Pittsburgh- 8/02/07 The Vic- 8/05/07- Lollapalooza 6/22/08 DC
  • Given to...Given to... Wyoming Posts: 4,997
    Ed: Sweet! Hey guys! They're bringing in the confiscation box!

    Stone: You think they'll ever figure out this is the only reason we do this shit? So we can get free stuff?

    Ed: I dunno. Not really. Did you see that shit on the message board yesterday? That thing about my hair?

    Stone: Saw it? I started it. Atleast with the mohawk you had some cred.

    Ed: Fuck off, four eyes. Maybe I should grow it out REAL long and then just pull back the fucking front. That sounds like a god damn fabulous idea, huh.

    Stone: You motherfu-

    Mike walks in: CONFISCATION BOX! You shitheads didn't start without me did you?! You know how long it takes for me to find all those fucking picks I throw out. Having to crawl around on the floor and shit.

    Matt: Then don't do it. Atleast I can find my drumsticks.

    Mike: Shut the hell up. I gotta make them think I like them. Otherwise they'll know when I have my head back during a solo I'm just dreaming I'm
    somewhere else.

    Jeff: Any hats?

    Ed (mummbling): You and those god damn hats...

    Jeff: What?! I stopped wearing them didn't I?!?

    Ed: WELL IT DOESN'T DO ANY FUCKING GOOD IF YOU STILL BRING THEM WITH US! ALL FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED OF THEM! MY GOD DAMN BED IS NOT YOUR FUCKING HAT STORAGE. AND THEY'RE UGLY!

    Jeff (holding back tears): Dick....

    Mike: Wait...what's that? A LEATHERMAN!

    Stone: Man, I don't wanna play that so-

    Mike: No, you dumb shit....a leatherman! Wooo...lookatit...I call it.

    Ed: No, that's mine!

    Mike: Like fucking hell it is. I could use it for all kinds of shit! I could cut my guitar strings with the wire cutters....uh...use it to get outta police handcuffs after partying all nig-

    Boom: And part of every day...right?! hahahaha.

    Mike: And I can use the knife to stab a motherfucker who thinks they're some kind of shitty comedian.

    Stone: I could use it to fix my glasses

    Mike: You won't need fucking glasses when I tear out your fucking eyeballs if you touch my god damn leatherman!

    Ed: Alright, alright. You can have the fucking leatherman. Jesus.

    Mike: Sweet! Gimme.

    Boom: What do I get...?

    Ed: You fucking get to play with us!? What more could you want?!

    Boom: Bastards...



    Ouch! My sides hurt now. Good stuff.
    "...would you like some forks?" EV 12-02-06
  • DPrival78DPrival78 CT Posts: 2,263
    Ed: Fuck off, four eyes. Maybe I should grow it out REAL long and then just pull back the fucking front. That sounds like a god damn fabulous idea, huh.

    Stone: You motherfu-


    haha
    i'm more a fan of popular bands.. like the bee-gees, pearl jam
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