Ten most annoying singers ever

NuclearTreeFrogNuclearTreeFrog Posts: 225
edited April 2008 in Other Music
http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/listoftheday/17793/the-ten-most-annoying-singers

The Ten Most Annoying Singers
Posted Mon Apr 21 4:31pm PDT by Rob O'Connor in List Of The Day

It's stunning to learn that others don't share our tastes. Then again, how did an entire generation embrace faux wood paneling, shag carpets and putting thick plastic on their furniture? Well, someone thought it was a great idea!

Hey, I like Bob Dylan's voice and kept him off this list because I could! Instead, I found the ten singers most likely to make you drive off the road.

Now that's a terrible fate. Not only are you stranded in some ditch, but you're stuck listening to one of these ten singers, who it would seem are singing that way just to mock you. Oh, the injustice.

10) Celine Dion: I know there are millions of people who would beg to disagree, but let's get real, people. She sings 15 notes where one would suffice and turns every song into an anthem for self-empowerment. It's like getting an hour of Oprah condensed into four minutes. She sings. It's time to start the lawnmower.

9) John Mayer: Young people are impressionable. I'm not sure where John Mayer learned his vocal craft. I hesitate to call it singing. It's more like whimpering. And for some reason, this has become a trend not stopping anytime soon. As you'll sadly learn as we go further down this list.

8) Conor Oberst: As the wunderkind who leads Bright Eyes, Conor Oberst was given a certain amount of leeway since he was a young teen when he started out and his precious singing--so sensitive and intimate you could hear the post-nasal drip--was mistaken as precocious. Well, he's in his 20s now and he still sounds like he's swimming back to the womb for protection from this hard, harsh world. Come on buddy, stand up straight and stop trying to imitate the Cure's Robert Smith. He got there first. And even he must know he sounds a little silly.

7) Lily Allen: Contrary to this column, I want to like fresh, young talent. I want to hear singers bring true commitment to their material. The first time I heard Lily Allen I thought it was quaint. Then it seemed every young female singer was determined to sing just like her, as if they're running out of air in their lungs and have to get back to the respirator before the next verse begins. Sure, she's bouncy and spunky. But if I might quote what Lou Grant once told Mary Tyler Moore: I HATE SPUNK.

6) Devendra Banhart / Tiny Tim: I'm not convinced they're not the same person. Tiny Tim was a novelty item singing with that stupid ukulele something about tiptoeing through the tulips. Anyone with any half sense would know it was novelty item that shouldn't be used as the basis for an entire recording career. And for thirty years, it wasn't, until freaky-folk dude Devendra Banhart showed up and started warbling in that unlistenable, untrained vibrato the kind of nonsensical lyrics that didn't sound all that great back when people were taking the kinds of drugs you're supposed to be on in order to enjoy it.

5) James Blunt: All this talk in the media about whether or not waterboarding is torture is moot. Forcing anyone to listen to "Beautiful" on repeat constitutes torture. You want my darkest, deepest secrets? This guy's quivering voice gets you my social security number, my mother's maiden name, my personal PIN and any random government secrets I'm currently harboring.

4) Frankie Valli: Frankie Valli was a hero to some back in his day. I grant you this. He was consistent! He consistently sang in a voice designed to send dogs running for cover and perfect for breaking glass. "Rag Doll, " "Sherry," "Dawn," "Big Girls Don't Cry," the list is enormous. He very well could be tried as a war criminal. Who would object? Seriously? Who?

3) Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins): Yes, despite all his rage he's still just a rat in a cage. Unfortunately, that cage came with a microphone for him to transmit his Smashing Pumpkins hits to a helpless, hapless world at large. While Billy could orchestrate grand walls of guitar and write albums of endless tuneage, he insisted on singing it himself. Except this is not singing in any conventional sense, but rather the sound of a petulant, whiny child. This is what happens when parents don't tell their kids to shut up often enough. Children need to know you don't like them.

2) Scott Stapp (Creed): We could probably start laying the blame on Bono, Eddie Vedder, Jim Morrison and that guy from Blood, Sweat and Tears, but in the end it's Scott Stapp who epitomizes that macho bellow that sounds like a man who's gone overboard at the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet and has just received spiritual orders to let everyone know they're going to hell if they don't save themselves somehow. His spiritual torment becomes your problem. Thanks, pal.

1) Michael Bolton: OK, this was easy. C'mon, you knew Mr. Bolton would top the list. Who else can take a love song and turn it into a hernia? When a man loves a woman he doesn't do so by screaming in her ear--so why should it be acceptable for a man to sing a sensitive love song as if he's directing traffic for the hearing impaired? R&B classics deserve their place in musical history and should be protected from this man's desecration of all that is holy. It's only right. Let's make it a law.
"The sun is shining, but not for me."
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Comments

  • mr bunglemr bungle Posts: 1,334
    May i add the guy from Coldplay?
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Keith Caputo.
    James Blunt.
    Mariah Carey.



    I'm sure there'll be more :)
    A human being that was given to fly.

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    If there was a reason, it was you.

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  • Tek MoneyTek Money Posts: 642
    Geddy Lee!
    Cock Fight.
  • Tek Money wrote:
    Geddy Lee!

    i could see where people would think Geddy's voice is annoying, but the fact that all 3 members of Rush are virtually musical geniouses and Lee and Paert are possibly the best to ever pick up their respective instruments makes the band more than worth listening too.

    IMO almost every singer to emerge over the last 5 yrs is annoying as hell. Not to mention they all sound the same.

    Even though i like them ok, i find Billy Corgan to be incredibly annoying. Scott stapp is beyond annoying, as is Apple Martin's dad. To me tho, Bono may be the most annoying singer ever. not because of his voice but because of the fact that he is so full of himself and thinks he is far more important that any rock singer can ever be.
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  • JennytreeJennytree Posts: 5,340
    James Hetfields voice bugs the tits off me - yeyaaaaw...
    This is me:
    http://www.facebook.com/jennytree

    SMELL YER MA!
  • facepollutionfacepollution Posts: 6,834
    Chad Kroegar
    Scott Stapp
    The whiney one from Blink 182
    Mick Hucknall from Simply Red
    Celine Dion
    James Blunt
    The guy from Fall Out Boy (can he pronounce any word how it's written?!)
    Christina Aguilera (ok she clearly has a decent voice, but she over-sings everything)
    The bass player from Goo Goo Dolls who insists on ruining 4 songs on each album with his sub-par vocals!
    The New Found Glory singer
  • surfanddestroysurfanddestroy Posts: 2,786
    mr bungle wrote:
    May i add the guy from Coldplay?

    Yes you may, how anoying is he!

    Also I would add
    Bono
    Thom Yorke
    Sting & many many more.
    Astoria 20/04/06, Leeds 25/08/06, Prague 22/09/06, Wembley 18/06/07,
    Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.

    Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
  • brain of cbrain of c Posts: 5,213
    david lee roth
  • DeLukinDeLukin Posts: 2,757
    As much as I loved the Crue back in the day, I have to say that Vince Neil's voice just grates me every time I hear it now.

    Ugh:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=CZRM6OX4jgM
    I smile, but who am I kidding...
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    any singer associated with heavy metal.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • Fu_ManchuFu_Manchu Posts: 422
    That bloke from t'arctic monkeys
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
  • surfanddestroysurfanddestroy Posts: 2,786
    dunkman wrote:
    any singer associated with heavy metal.

    You can't say that there are SOME really good singers in Heavy Metal.
    Astoria 20/04/06, Leeds 25/08/06, Prague 22/09/06, Wembley 18/06/07,
    Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.

    Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    You can't say that there are SOME really good singers in Heavy Metal.


    ANY!!! :mad:
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
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