Drummer fines

lucylespian
lucylespian Posts: 2,403
edited May 2008 in Musicians and Gearheads
Saw this on another forum, thought it was funny





DRUMMERS REAL NAME: _______________________________



(other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "Biff "... etc.)



-Setup / Equipment Offences-
Brings a 36" bass drum - $25

Has more than one bass drum - $100.

Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat) - $50.

Brings more than 2 mounted toms - $25.

Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms - $50.

Brings more than one floor tom - $25.

Uses extra floor tom for ashtray & drink holder - $75
Brings more than two crash cymbals - $25.
Doesn't bring a ride cymbal - $250.
Uses Sabian B8 cymbal set - Dismissal & Public Torture
Uses ZBT, ZXT, et al cymbal set - Public Execution
Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings) - $75.
Brings two timpani (for really big endings) - $100.
Brings extra splashes (Just in case) - $25 each
Doesn't own any brushes - $300.
Owns brushes but can't play them - $500
Has a hi-hat that is welded shut - $250.
Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones - $200.
Asks Guitarist for help with unloading drums - $150
Wears dirty white Nike sneakers on tux gig - $50.
Tunes snare drum during the benediction - $175.
Tunes snare drum - $10
-Performance Offences-
Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust" - $150.
Pretends to read chart with big band - $25.
Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note) -$200.
Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday" - $1000.
Plays disco beat on "A Train" - $200.
Plays shuffle on "Mustang Sally" - $100
Plays "Mustang Sally" correctly - Dismissal
Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake" - $100.
Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5" - $25.
Actually tries to play on "Take 5" - $150.
Asks leader what brushes are - $250.
Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks - $50.
Plays blast beats during "Johnny B. Goode" - $500
-Miscellaneous Offences-
Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future" - $100.
Is first in line at the party's buffet -$50.
Asks where the "to-go bags" are at the buffet line -$100.
Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters" - $50.
Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters" - $25.
Says to the brides mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good party"- $150.
Is ten minutes late for the next set - $25.
Is twenty minutes late for the next set - $10.
Never shows up for the next set - $1.
Wears Slipknot makeup for band photo shoot - Dismissal
Excessive Sweating - $5000
-Drummer Crimes-
Warming up on "60 Ways..." or "Rosanna." - $50
LISTENING to Rosanna, even in private with headphones on. - $50
Extends solo in Zep's "Rock & Roll" to 10 minutes - $1000
Bringing a mega kit to a multiband gig. - $100
Breaking that kit down on stage after your shitty set. - $250
Asks bassist to move rig so third floor tom will fit onstage - $50
(per Sq. Ft.)
Extra logo stickers on bass drum head - $75 each.
Stick holders - $10
Drumming Shoes - $100
Drumming gloves - Dismissal
Double pedals - $500
USING the double pedals. - Dismissal
Wearing Zildjian T-shirt onstage. - $50
Roto toms. - $50 each
RIMS mounts and Moongel used simultaneously - Public Flogging
Extra deep kicks and toms. - $50 each
Glow in the dark drumsticks - $500
Asks keyboard player about GED test - $150
Hits on singer's girlfriend - $5
Hits on club owner's wife - $1000
Music is not a competetion.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • MichaelMcKevin
    MichaelMcKevin Posts: 1,161
    I owe somebody a lot of money!
    Camden I '06, Camden II '06, Bonnaroo '08, Camden I '08, Camden II '08, Philly Spectrum II/III/IV '09, MSG I '10, MSG II '10, Made In America '12, Wrigley '13, Brooklyn II '13, Philly I '13, Philly II '13, ...
  • lucylespian
    lucylespian Posts: 2,403
    Yeah, I think I could buy a new motor-bike with what I racked up, and I'm barely a novice.
    Music is not a competetion.
  • xtremehardy388
    xtremehardy388 Posts: 2,759
    I was dismissed from a band a couple years back because our drummer dated my ex girlfriend and she still missed me...hahahah(I was the singer/lead guitar)
    Grand Rapids '04, Detroit '06
    JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
    "Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,175
    xtremehardy388 wrote:
    I was dismissed from a band a couple years back because our drummer dated my ex girlfriend and she still missed me...hahahah(I was the singer/lead guitar)
    whatever happened to bro's before ho's or however you dudes say that! ;)
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,175
    lucylespian wrote:
    Saw this on another forum, thought it was funny
    that was funny! thanks for sharing :)
  • Mike_Muse_Rage
    Mike_Muse_Rage Posts: 677
    Haha nice, my drummer owes me a hell of a lot.
  • NeverNamed068
    NeverNamed068 Posts: 118
    I guess I owe a decent amount of money. Fun list.
    "I wish I was the full moon... you kept your house keys on" - Wishlist (Melbourne '03)
  • keeponrockin
    keeponrockin Posts: 7,446
    Pj_Gurl wrote:
    whatever happened to bro's before ho's or however you dudes say that! ;)
    UNLESS they take of their clothes
    Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
  • Glorified Irish Guy
    Glorified Irish Guy Posts: 350
    haha, as if drums didnt cost enough
  • MichaelMcKevin
    MichaelMcKevin Posts: 1,161
    Glorified Irish Guy wrote:
    haha, as if drums didnt cost enough

    Seriously. Cymbals included.
    Camden I '06, Camden II '06, Bonnaroo '08, Camden I '08, Camden II '08, Philly Spectrum II/III/IV '09, MSG I '10, MSG II '10, Made In America '12, Wrigley '13, Brooklyn II '13, Philly I '13, Philly II '13, ...

Categories