The waiting is the hardest part..

Craig102

The great Tom Petty said ‘The waiting is the hardest part’…. It has been 5 months since I walked from PPG Paints Arena with the widest smile on earth, having travelled 16,186 km from Melbourne Australia to Pittsburgh fulfilling a lifelong dream to see Pearl Jam in the US for my 50th. I now wait and hope for news of what is next.

Please let there be a next!

I am anxious by default. The type of guy who steadfastly believes (in contradiction of medical evidence and common sense) that I’ll catch a cold if I go outside with wet hair. 

There is always that fear that there may not be a next. Pearl Jam don’t owe me anything. The guys have given me 35 years of memories and joy. I am in their debt and would not begrudge anyone for riding off into the sunset as Matt did when he hung up the drumsticks recently.

I cling to hope that there will be a next. I believe.

As an Aussie you make peace with the fact that each Peal Jam show you see may be your last. It was 10 years between visits to Australia until the Dark Matter Tour. The luxury of getting to shows regularly like my friends in the US is not something I can bank on. 

Perhaps if I had paid more attention at Uni to my studies as I did to listening to Ten on my trusty cassette player I may have got a better job and been more financially robust to travel internationally these days?

When I made the decision to travel to Pittsburgh it was in full awareness that my wife would be imposing 10 years of ‘hard labour’ of dishwashing to repay the financially reckless call and that I have played my ‘but it is a trip of a lifetime’ card.

My wife did owe me though. In preparations for our wedding many years ago I forcefully obliged to attend dance lessons. What I didn’t know was my instructor was a stern eastern European lady with a chilling voice who seemed to enjoy my struggles with coordination and ignore my pleas for a 5 minute break to reset my fragile confidence!

The fact the wedding song was the beautiful ‘Just Breath” got my through the torture…just.

Then I experience the show and all I can think of is PLEASE let there be a next time… 

It is hard to explain THAT feeling of being at a Peal Jam Show. For me it is just a sense of calm and contentment. You know that feeling those Monks in the Himalayas are chasing, that’s what I’m talking about.

I need that feeling. I chase that feeling. I once took it for granted. That comfort that Pearl Jam would just tour year after year and eventually there would be a next for me in Australia. I once thought I’d always have a full head of hair and never make a weird grunting sound when lowering myself into a chair but time changes things.

I’ll never forget the feeling of euphoria when I passed through the security gates and was inside PPG Paint Arena about to fulfil my dream. Trust me I had played all the scenarios out where I wasn’t going to make it. 

But I did.   

My heart was beating faster than the day the Tax Office audited me.

I spent two weeks’ pay on merchandise and despite approaching fifty years of age, I was dressed like a sixteen-year-old about to start a shift at the supermarket pushing trolleys in 1993.

This is absurd. Music can do this to people. Pearl Jam has done this to me.

The curtain drops and I would not want to be anywhere else in the world.

I will cherish the memories of those two fantastic shows in Pittsburgh for the rest of my life. My only slight beef with Eddie is that he spoke so glowing about the Pittsburgh Pirates that I ventured out to a game post show and have become hooked as a fan watching every game since I got home – good judges tell me I should make peace with a 38% winning record? 

I have a love hate relationship with Yellow Ledbetter. I love the song and it is so symbolic to wrap up a gig, yet every time I hear it I know that the show and that feeling is about to end. I feel warm and fuzzy, nostalgic, perhaps even angry all in a 5 minute window.  

My hope for a next is fuelled by the parting words Eddie left us with on that night of may 18 at the conclusion of Little Wing:

“Thanks for obliging us”

What makes a great band (among many things) is that they simply love the craft. With those four simple words Eddie was able to convey his sincerity of the two-way relationship with us humble fans.

The lads just simply like to play. To have that after all these years is priceless. That is what fills me with hope that there will be a next…..

    

KN219077

Well said!

julieooliern

Oh geez, you really know how to hit the nail on the head. All the Pittsburgh emotions, right back in my heart and head! Thank you for that while ride at 7 o’clock in the morning! I’m happy to hear all the joy and love Pearl Jam has brought you throughout your life and also the gratitude you hold. I feel the same. Much love to you Aussie! May there be many more days of PJ ahead! 🍻❤️

EricaRMaier

Well, this just might be one of the most lovely Pittsburgh recaps I’ve read to date. I was at both shows as well, I’ll never take that for granted. Or how alive (no pun intended) one feels post-show — nothing like it. Thanks for sharing this! Perfect words!

runstaples

Remember when they showed the back of Matt's shirt during Hunger Strike? Ah, good times. I was tearing up during that song, what a moment. One of my holy grails, and to hear it during matt's last show...

Craig102

runstaples said:

Remember when they showed the back of Matt's shirt during Hunger Strike? Ah, good times. I was tearing up during that song, what a moment. One of my holy grails, and to hear it during matt's last show...

Yeah certainly a highlight 

Craig102

EricaRMaier said:

Well, this just might be one of the most lovely Pittsburgh recaps I’ve read to date. I was at both shows as well, I’ll never take that for granted. Or how alive (no pun intended) one feels post-show — nothing like it. Thanks for sharing this! Perfect words!

Glad you enjoyed the read. Appreciate the kind words 

Craig102

julieooliern said:

Oh geez, you really know how to hit the nail on the head. All the Pittsburgh emotions, right back in my heart and head! Thank you for that while ride at 7 o’clock in the morning! I’m happy to hear all the joy and love Pearl Jam has brought you throughout your life and also the gratitude you hold. I feel the same. Much love to you Aussie! May there be many more days of PJ ahead! 🍻❤️

Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed it.

Craig102

KN219077 said:

Well said!

KN219077 said:

Well said!

Thanks 

rey

Although I live in the northeast US and don't have the limitations of seeing Pearl Jam like you do as an Aussie, I can really relate to this post.  I was at the second Pittsburgh show and I couldn't help but have the feeling that I hope there will be more down the road.  I had recently lost a family member (that was supposed to be with me at the show) who was only a few years older than most of the band members so the feelings of mortality and not ever taking anything for granted were fresh on my mind as I experienced that amazing show.  Fortunately I have the memories of about 20 live shows between 1998 and Pittsburgh, but I truly hope for the opportunity for more.  I really have no reason to believe I won't be able to get to more live shows again but as you said at the beginning, the waiting is the hardest part!

Craig102

rey said:

Although I live in the northeast US and don't have the limitations of seeing Pearl Jam like you do as an Aussie, I can really relate to this post.  I was at the second Pittsburgh show and I couldn't help but have the feeling that I hope there will be more down the road.  I had recently lost a family member (that was supposed to be with me at the show) who was only a few years older than most of the band members so the feelings of mortality and not ever taking anything for granted were fresh on my mind as I experienced that amazing show.  Fortunately I have the memories of about 20 live shows between 1998 and Pittsburgh, but I truly hope for the opportunity for more.  I really have no reason to believe I won't be able to get to more live shows again but as you said at the beginning, the waiting is the hardest part!

Condolences on your loss. Thanks for sharing and glad you enjoyed the read.