I have had many profoundly embarrassing moments. I feel like I've had more than most, but that could be biased? Maybe not, honestly.
I suppose my first most embarrassing moment was a doozie.
I was a drama kid in high school, so I was in Fiddler on the Roof when I was about 16. At one point during the wedding dance I and 3 others had to lift the bride on a chair and spin her around in the air. When I bent over to pick up the chair, my old-ass, moth-eaten costume decided to just completely give up. It exploded at the seams in everywhere possible, literally. It wasn fucked up. It pretty much disintegrated ( maybe i should have sued the costume company).
We lifted the chair with a girl on top.of it, and my dress had exploded. It fell off of my entire top half, and i wasn't even wearing a bra because it had a built-in bodice, and for those of you who din't me, i have enormous tits, LOL. If I did anything other than continued the fucking wedding dance I would have dropped the girl up in the chair. I had to fucking keep up the dance until it was over, in front of 700 people, with my breasts exposed, during a fiddler on the roof wedding.
I heard people start to laugh and clap and shit. Once I finally got off stage I burst into tears obviously. It was pretty awful.
I actually went to a very kind high school in general, so after that happened, of course there was talk, but the nickname that came out of it for me was "zip". Simply because everyone figured my zipper on my dress exploded, lol. Very mild and kind! I didn't get sexually harassed or anything, so that's cool I guess.
I've had other experiences that were about at that level embarrassment-wise, but that is the one that was in front of the most people, by far.
That's seriously impressive that you hung in there and went through with the dance. A lesser soul would have run off stage and let the bride fall. If nothing else, it makes for a hell of a good story!
"Pretty cookies, heart squares all around, yeah!" -Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
I have a lot of dumb moments and I enjoy sharing them at work, we always need a good laugh. Like I only learned recently it's "laminate." I have called it "eliminate" my whole life. it wasn't until I was sending an email to ask someone to "eliminate" a paper for me and it kept coming up in the auto spell check. I had to google it to find out there is no E in front.
But my favorite story is from a long time ago, not so much embarrassing because I was pretty little, but it's still a running joke in my family. I always loved Chinese food as a little kid, and still do. I was in about first grade and we were at my favorite Chinese restaurant. My dad asks me "Do you know why you like Chinese food so much, and why you eat with chopsticks?" "No, dad." As my dad points to one of the pieces of art on the wall "You see that paint of a boat there?" Thats the boat you and your real parents were coming to America on when it sank. When you washed up ashore we just took you in as our own. And that's why Chinese food is your favorite." I didn't think anything of it, was just thankful they took me in! Until a couple years later, I was in the third grade. A girl was crying in class and the teacher stopped class to ask her what was wrong. She said some boys were teasing her because she was adopted. I didn't want her to feel alone and left out, so I blurted out "Thats okay, my parents adopted me from a Chinese family!" My teacher got really angry, asked who told me that, so I told them my dad. My teacher calls home to tell my parents the story I made up in class, and of course my mom throws me under the bus and says "I don't know where he gets these ideas, we'll talk to him about it." That was the day I learned I wasn't Chinese.
It became the running joke. When I would act up as a teenager my parents would say things like "we should have left you on the beach!" And we still joke about it. They took me to Chinese food for my birthday a couple weeks ago.
I have a lot of dumb moments and I enjoy sharing them at work, we always need a good laugh. Like I only learned recently it's "laminate." I have called it "eliminate" my whole life. it wasn't until I was sending an email to ask someone to "eliminate" a paper for me and it kept coming up in the auto spell check. I had to google it to find out there is no E in front.
But my favorite story is from a long time ago, not so much embarrassing because I was pretty little, but it's still a running joke in my family. I always loved Chinese food as a little kid, and still do. I was in about first grade and we were at my favorite Chinese restaurant. My dad asks me "Do you know why you like Chinese food so much, and why you eat with chopsticks?" "No, dad." As my dad points to one of the pieces of art on the wall "You see that paint of a boat there?" Thats the boat you and your real parents were coming to America on when it sank. When you washed up ashore we just took you in as our own. And that's why Chinese food is your favorite." I didn't think anything of it, was just thankful they took me in! Until a couple years later, I was in the third grade. A girl was crying in class and the teacher stopped class to ask her what was wrong. She said some boys were teasing her because she was adopted. I didn't want her to feel alone and left out, so I blurted out "Thats okay, my parents adopted me from a Chinese family!" My teacher got really angry, asked who told me that, so I told them my dad. My teacher calls home to tell my parents the story I made up in class, and of course my mom throws me under the bus and says "I don't know where he gets these ideas, we'll talk to him about it." That was the day I learned I wasn't Chinese.
It became the running joke. When I would act up as a teenager my parents would say things like "we should have left you on the beach!" And we still joke about it. They took me to Chinese food for my birthday a couple weeks ago.
HAHAHAHAHA
"Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk" -EV 8/14/93
Comments
That's seriously impressive that you hung in there and went through with the dance. A lesser soul would have run off stage and let the bride fall. If nothing else, it makes for a hell of a good story!
-Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
-EV 8/14/93
OMG, hadn't thought of that.
-Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
I'm glad it gave you a laugh! Good medicine these days!
-Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
But my favorite story is from a long time ago, not so much embarrassing because I was pretty little, but it's still a running joke in my family.
I always loved Chinese food as a little kid, and still do. I was in about first grade and we were at my favorite Chinese restaurant. My dad asks me "Do you know why you like Chinese food so much, and why you eat with chopsticks?" "No, dad."
As my dad points to one of the pieces of art on the wall "You see that paint of a boat there?" Thats the boat you and your real parents were coming to America on when it sank. When you washed up ashore we just took you in as our own. And that's why Chinese food is your favorite."
I didn't think anything of it, was just thankful they took me in! Until a couple years later, I was in the third grade. A girl was crying in class and the teacher stopped class to ask her what was wrong. She said some boys were teasing her because she was adopted. I didn't want her to feel alone and left out, so I blurted out "Thats okay, my parents adopted me from a Chinese family!" My teacher got really angry, asked who told me that, so I told them my dad. My teacher calls home to tell my parents the story I made up in class, and of course my mom throws me under the bus and says "I don't know where he gets these ideas, we'll talk to him about it."
That was the day I learned I wasn't Chinese.
It became the running joke. When I would act up as a teenager my parents would say things like "we should have left you on the beach!" And we still joke about it. They took me to Chinese food for my birthday a couple weeks ago.
Dude! I hadn't thought of that either! THANK GOD!!!!
-EV 8/14/93
-EV 8/14/93