Would you forgive a rambling mumble?

justam

There's no form to this series of words
call it stream-of-consciousness-on-a-keybed
I think our timing has been off
at least, it seems to be for
my grief was a few years ago
and it was quite hard on me
it seems to have contributed to the worn part of my soul
but the gouging grief passes
it must because no one can live with it forever
it diminishes as days turn into weeks and
weeks turn into months
and months add up to years
(note the plural "s" on years)
for me, the grief started when I accepted the reality that
I was not needed all the time
I awoke to find I was like an embellishment 
maybe nice for enhancement but not fundamental to the melody?
it hurt to be unnecessary
but back to the original topic
if a person has ever deeply loved, it can't be washed away
it just transforms into a quieter feeling
at least, that's how it seems to me
maybe a soft filter on it keeps the pain away
for it's frightening when the old feeling peeks out 
its like releasing a lion
or, opening the gates at a horse race
hear the thundering hooves
I don't know...
I never know...
I just manage to keep on breathing