To my eyes, I see the tidal wave and I fear it will take me away. The Grief is too much and it simply cannot stay. I try to run away; in doing so, further distancing the memories of you. Till they are nothing more than a faint whisper, while I push on through. In solitude the sensation begins to spiral. You walked away and left me alone. Uncherished and tarnished, our dreams now wander the streets. I will not give up and now must push on through.

 We fear the Grief. That it will be too much and we are not ready. It is easier to say everything is ok. This fear is misplaced. The Grief is the rock and ally which helps you stand through the tidal wave of loss. To ignore this aspect is to constantly have the pain simmering upon the surface and depth of heart and mind. To ignore this diminishes the light that relationship brought to your life. Even if it were too brief, even as we yearn for more, even if we are angry; we can still honor the memory. As it feels safe, begin to embrace the magnitude of the loved one’s loss. In other words; be human.

 Loss is not a digital experience. We are not robots. Treating loss as a series of zeros and ones is a never-ending process. As if we just turn it on and then we just turn it off. It strips the experience of the opportunity to feel the emotional weight of a relationship so dear. A relationship that when lost produces a pain so unimaginable, it feels like we are drowning and other metaphors of not being able to carry on. We go through the spectrum of human emotion. Often visiting and revisiting them along the journey. Grief then is analogue. The hope is that you arrive at a place where you will perhaps always feel the pain and know how to cherish the memories in parallel.

I am a nothing dreaming of something unknown.
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